This story reminds me of a colleague I had many years ago, who was a notorious time optimist — consistently late for EVERYTHING.

One time, he was due to take a train to meet with a client. This wasn’t a small local train, but one of the big express trains with hundreds of seats. Say the train left at 8:30 am. He arrived at the station at 8:45 am, discovered that the train had left, and returned to the office, fuming with anger.

Colleague: “They just left without me!”

Me: “Well, they do have a timetable to keep…”

Colleague: “Oh, come on. It doesn’t work that way, and you know it.”

Me: “It doesn’t?”

Colleague: “When I booked the ticket, did they or did they not ask me for my cell phone number?”

Me: “Well, yeah, they always do that, so they can send you the ticket.”

Colleague: “So, they had my phone number. When they realised I wasn’t on board, why wouldn’t they call me and ask if I was on my way?”

Me: “You expect them to check 300 seats and call everyone who isn’t on board in the two minutes the train stops at the station? And then call the stragglers and wait for them to turn up?”

Colleague: “Don’t be a smarta**. I was two minutes away, tops.”

Me: “Didn’t you just say you were there at 8.45?”

Colleague: “So, now I’m not allowed to stop for a smoke?! I’m just saying it wouldn’t have killed them to wait. This is awful service.”

At that point, I suggested that I call the customer and reschedule. 

I wish I could tell you that this was the only time we had this exact conversation after he missed a train. I wish I could tell you that… but offices are no fairytale world.

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I was once eating in a pub in London with a group of Americans. When we’d finished, the waitress asked if we’d like coffee.

Us: “We’re all set.”

Waitress: *Looking confused* “So, coffees all ’round, then? I don’t speak your language!”

In these situations, like in this story, when someone is clearly confused, you need to rephrase your statement. Repeating yourself isn’t helping. Be clear.

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My friend works at a call center. Today, she took a call from a manager who was struggling to get the Point Of Sale system connected to the Internet. At one point, the manager had to call an employee for help, and the first thing my friend heard when the three-way call connected was:

Employee: “Hey, since you’ve got me on the phone, I need to tell you that I haven’t been paid in a f*****’ week. I’m taking my check out of the register, and you’re gonna have to deal with that.”

My friend spent the next few minutes listening to a screaming match between them, unable to hang up since she was on a customer call. Eventually, the employee threatened a lawsuit.

Manager: “And how are you going to do that without any proof?”

Friend: “Um, just to remind you, this is a recorded line.”

Suddenly, the manager completely changed his attitude, becoming calm, polite, and apologetic. OF COURSE, the employee could take his paycheck out of the register, don’t even worry about it, nothing to be concerned over. While my friend legally had to tell them they were being recorded (and already had told the manager when he first called), she was glad she was there to butt in at that moment.

My (former) boss was absolutely insane, and what she did to another employee caused a mass quitting at my workplace.

I worked at a salon and spa. We had a coworker who, admittedly, had a personal life that was nothing less than a disaster and she made awful life choices. However, she was ALWAYS at work on time and was extremely talented, so we just listened to her trainwreck stories and moved on.

Then, her boyfriend moved out; he just left while she was visiting family out of state, taking their dogs with him. She was obviously devastated and called out for a few days in a row.

I was a manager, and I didn’t care that she called out because it was out of the norm for her to call in. Having heard many stories of the chaos that was her life, I just took it on faith that her life had finally taken a sudden left turn that she couldn’t just spring back from, and she needed the time. Eventually, everyone snaps and just needs that space, you know? Despite being a wreck, she was still reaching out to me occasionally to check in, and I just kept telling her to take the time she needed to put herself back together and do some proper self-care.

On day three of her calling out, [Salon Owner] entered the fray. Now, let me make this as clear as I can: what happened next wasn’t a rumor, nor did I hear it secondhand. [Salon Owner] was openly proud of herself and didn’t miss a chance to tell anyone what she’d done.

[Salon Owner] decided that [Coworker] had been given enough time and took action. She found [Coworker]’s home address on the employment paperwork, went to [Coworker]’s house, searched the yard until she found a hidden spare key, and walked right in. [Salon Owner] then stormed through the house until she found [Coworker]’s bedroom, threw open the door, and shouted her awake.

Salon Owner: “Wake up and get dressed! It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself! You have work to do, and I expect you to do it. The world doesn’t stop for you just because you want to pout.”

[Coworker] let out a string of curses.

Coworker: “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! ARE YOU INSANE?! THIS IS NOT OKAY!”

Salon Owner: “You have a job to do!”

Coworker: “Not today.”

Salon Owner: “Get up, get dressed, and get in the car. I’m driving you, so you don’t even have to drive yourself.”

Coworker: “I’m not coming in. I already called out.”

[Salon Owner] ignored that statement.

Salon Owner: “Get dressed. You have five minutes to get ready. Either do it, or you’re fired!”

Coworker: “GET THE F*** OUT! I’M CALLING THE POLICE!”

[Salon Owner] left after telling [Coworker] that she was fired. The staff was absolutely gobsmacked as [Salon Owner] bragged about this incident to everyone and flatly told the rest of us that she would do the same to any of us if we tried to be lazy like [Coworker] was.

As we tried to string words together to mention just how illegal that was, we were all struck silent (again) by police officers coming into the salon and telling [Salon Owner] that they needed to talk.

I had been planning to open my own salon soon anyway, so I just looked at my staff.

Me: “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m typing up my resignation, effective immediately.”

The rest of the staff weren’t far behind me.

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My partner and I go to a local discount store to pick up some stuff for the house. I use a wheelchair, and thus, I have a disabled parking placard. We pull into the parking lot and realize that a HUGE [Soda Company] semi truck is taking up every single accessible spot. My partner and I look at each other.

Me: “What the f***?!”

We park in a regular spot, and my partner goes in alone to talk to the manager.

Partner: “Hey, your [Soda Company] guy is taking up all the disabled spots. My boyfriend and I need one of those spots.”

Manager: “He’s almost done. Can’t you just use a normal spot?”

Partner: *Pauses* “He has a placard for a reason. And parking in one of those spots without one is illegal, much less all five.”

Manager: “Well, I’ll ask him to hurry.”

Partner: “You know what? I think we’ll try somewhere else.”

He came back out and relayed the conversation that happened inside. We took some pictures of the truck, the license plate, and good angles of it blocking literally every last accessible parking spot. We ended up reporting them to the company — and the manager, who didn’t seem to understand why we were complaining. Last I heard, the driver got reprimanded.