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    Defying Egg-spectations

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Holidays

    (I stop at the grocery store on Thanksgiving morning to get the last few things for dinner.)

    Clerk: “Is that it?”

    Me: “Yes, thank you.”

    Clerk: “Great. Happy Easter!”

    Me: “Had enough of saying ‘Happy Thanksgiving,’ huh?”

    A Very Poor Understanding Of Charity

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (It is shortly before Thanksgiving, and the grocery store I am shopping in has shopping bags filled with holiday items for needy families. The sealed bags are on tables by the checkout. To purchase one, as I had before, you just put it on the belt with your groceries, then pay, and drop it into a donation bin by the exit. I pick up one of these bags and put it on the belt with my groceries.)

    Cashier: *gesturing to the charity bag* “That isn’t for you.”

    Me: “I’m sorry…  What?”

    Cashier: “Those are for needy families. You can’t have it.”

    Me: “I’m not buying it for me. I’m going to put it in the bin by the door.”

    Cashier: “You can’t buy those! They aren’t for you! You are taking food from needy families!”

    Me: “I bought one the other day so it can be given to a needy family.”

    Cashier: “They shouldn’t have let you. You have to put it back.”

    (I am wondering if I should bother to have a manager called over when the cashier from the next checkout says to my cashier:)

    Other Cashier: “What are you doing, [Cashier]? Those bags are for any customer to buy and donate. The store ships them to a charity that gives them to the families.”

    Cashier: “Oh. I thought only the poor could buy them.”

    (The cashier still seemed reluctant, but she did ring out my order and allow me to make my donation. I hope I was the first customer who had tried to buy one of those bags in her lane.)

    Sick Of Your Sick Attitude

    | NJ, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful, Theme Of The Month

    (I have been with this company for roughly three years. In that time I have called out a total of two times. One of my current coworkers, Coworker #2, has called out at least once every other week since I started this department, a month after he started his job there, and always tries to cheat his breaks and punches. I wake up feeling unwell one morning and, brushing it off as early morning blues, go in anyway. Ten minutes into my shift my coworker calls out claiming to not feel well. Knowing I still have to be at my second job, I’m trying to talk myself through the day now having to juggle my job and my now absent coworker’s. An hour and a half before I’m scheduled to leave, I suddenly get light headed.)

    Me: *sitting down* “I need to stop for a moment… I’m going to take my break now.”

    Coworker #1: *offering me a piece of chocolate* “Here, you don’t eat enough… Probably why you’re dizzy.”

    Me: *feeling worse* “No, I don’t think I should eat anything.”

    (Suddenly, I feel really sick and barely make it to the trash can to throw up. Coworker #1 rushes out to the other two working the floor, one who acts as a manager at times.)

    Coworker #1: *walking back to me* “You work too hard, you know. That’s why you’re sick. Never taking breaks, working two jobs…”

    (Most management here is notorious for giving employees a hard time for saying you don’t feel well or calling out, generally acting as if you’re all lazy kids trying to get out of work, but I’m promptly sent home, with several employees and two managers fussing over me to be certain I’m all right. Two days later I’m back at work, no longer sick but exhausted from it.)

    Coworker #2: *upon hearing I was sent home early* “They sent you home?!”

    Me: *blinking a few times, not sure why he’s so agitated* “Yeah, I was pretty bad the other day…”

    Coworker #2: *scoffs* “Well, aren’t you lucky. They never even CARE when I come in sick.”

    (He stomps off past the floor to the bathrooms for a bathroom break, even though he’s been there about 20 minutes.)

    Coworker #3: *walking up to me* “Well, of course they don’t care when he comes in sick… That’s how he acts all the time. And he’s not YOU.”

    Me: “You mean a self-inflicted workaholic?”

    Coworker #3: “Yeah… that.”

    Good To Sell Until Hell Freezes Over

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I don’t like wasting food and have something of a cast-iron stomach, so even if I realize a product is a slightly past its ‘best by’ date I’ll still finish it off. However, while browsing the store I go to most frequently I come across something that I feel I need to bring up to customer service.)

    Me: “Um, I thought you guys should know that these two which were in the freezer are way past-due, but it looks like everything else is okay.”

    (Despite no one else being there, it takes the lady at the counter a good three seconds after I finish talking to look at me.)

    Worker: “What’s wrong?”

    Me: “These two boxes are way past their sell-by dates.

    Worker: “Oh, those are just suggestions. They’re still good for a bit.”

    Me: “They expired in FEBRUARY. It’s now AUGUST!”

    Worker: “Yeah, but they’re frozen. They’re good for, like, forever. Don’t waste food.”

    (Shocked at her callousness, I go to find a manager and explain the situation to him. Since these things are handled at the customer service desk anyway we go back. At this point the same employee is helping another person, and being exceedingly kind and receptive to her, until she finishes and notices I’ve returned with the manager.)

    Worker: “Oh, come on! You’re actually giving him his money back?”

    Me: “I never SAID I wanted money back. These were on your shelf!”

    Worker: “No, you came up here demanding money back for something you had left in your freezer!”

    Me: “The hell I did! I specifically even told you everything else on YOUR SHELVES were okay!”

    Worker: “[Manager], come on. You’re not giving him a refund, are you?”

    Manager: “No, because he wasn’t ASKING for one. And this is the third time I’ve caught you harassing male customers while bending over backwards for female ones. Expect to be having a meeting with your supervisor.”

    (I didn’t actually WANT to get the girl in trouble, but her stammering for getting called out on her preferential treatments was too funny!)

    Telling You Until You’re Bleu In The Face

    | USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (When I was 10 I really liked bleu cheese. I was excited when they were giving samples at a store.)

    Me: “Mommy, can I go get some bleu cheese?”

    Mom: “Sure, honey. Go right ahead.”

    Employee: *guarding the sample tray as I am trying to reach* “You won’t like this. It is bleu cheese.”

    Me: “But I like bleu cheese.”

    Employee: “No. It is a grown-up food.”

    Mom: “Honey, what’s the matter?”

    Employee: “Your daughter is being rude to me.”

    Me: “All I said was that I like bleu cheese.”

    Employee: “No, she doesn’t. No kid likes bleu cheese.”

    Mom: “My daughter has a wide palate. She likes bleu cheese.”

    Employee: “No, she doesn’t. She probably just says that to you.”

    Mom: “No. She eats it a lot.”

    (Mom takes two and gives one to me.)

    Employee: “Oh. I guess she actually likes bleu cheese.”


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