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  • Not A Fan Of Sugar And Spice And All Things Nice

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Family & Kids

    (I am grocery shopping with my two young sons.)

    Cashier: “Your kids are so cute!”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    Cashier: “Two boys right?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Cashier: “So when are you going to try for a girl?”

    Me: *shrugging* “We think we’re done.”

    Cashier: “Too bad. You really need a girl.”

    He Makes No Apologies For His Apologies

    | Jonesboro, AR, USA | Awesome Workers, Employees, Food & Drink

    (At my grocery store, there’s this guy who is always friendly. It’s like watching poetry in motion. I once saw him deal with 10 customer questions back to back, with this huge, genuine smile on his face. Every time he sees me, he tells me to have a wonderful day. He greets everyone with something exuberant. He knows where everything is and manages to make you feel good about not knowing yourself.)

    Customer: “Do you have anymore Irish cream?”

    Employee: “I’m not sure let me check the back.”

    (The employee leaves and returns.)

    Employee: “I am deeply sorry; we only carry that in the large bottles of [Brand] now.”

    Customer: “What?! You don’t have it in [Other Brand]?”

    Employee: “No, ma’am. I am very sorry. We do not.”

    Customer: “What about [Another Brand]?”

    Employee: “I am very sorry, ma’am, but that too is discontinued.”

    Customer: “But, but, why?!”

    Employee: “I’m not sure. They always sold quite well. The only thing I can imagine is [Brand] did not want competition and requested to not have it.”

    Customer: “But [Brand] always tastes off to me. Are you sure you don’t have any in the back?”

    Employee: “I am, sadly, acutely positive of that, ma’am. I am very sorry that we have let you down.”

    Customer: “But you haven’t let me down. This wasn’t your fault.”

    Employee: “But, sadly, the folks who are responsible for this will never apologize to you. So I feel I must. Please have a good day.”

    Not The Most Gifted Cashier, Part 2

    | Palo Alto, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My mom and I are at chain grocery store shopping for gift cards for my teachers. Some gift cards require the tag on the back to be ripped off to expose the barcode.)

    Cashier: *ripping off the tag aggressively*

    Mom: “Can you try to rip it off carefully?”

    Cashier: *mad* “Look, if you want it to be neat, rip it off yourself okay?”

    Mom: “I was just trying to make sure you knew because this is a gift.”

    Cashier: “No need to be so MAD about it!”

    Not The Most Gifted Cashier

    Delay Reaction

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bosses & Owners

    (My mom and I are in line at the checkout. The manager walks over and tells the cashier it is time for her to go home after she is done helping us. We chose this register because my mom really likes this particular cashier.)

    Me: “So, you get to go home early tonight? That must be nice.”

    Cashier: *quietly, so the manager, now standing by door, does not hear* “It would be if it only happened once in a while. He’s cut me at least fifteen minutes early every shift for over two weeks.”

    Mom: “We can be really difficult so you’ll have to stay and help us.” *louder, so manager can hear* “[My Name], is that the price you remember seeing for [item]? I was sure it was less than that.”

    Me: *catching on* “It must have been. I think we need a price check.”

    Mom: *after price check confirms item is right price* “Oh, and could you please slow down on the bagging? I don’t want anything smashed or broken.”

    (My mom continues to delay, insisting the cashier stop several times to read the total to her or double check something. Then, she pretends she cannot find her debit card and takes her time entering her PIN.)

    Mom: “Has it been long enough yet?”

    Cashier: “I think so. Thank you.”

    Me: “Okay, mama. I think we should go now.”

    (We walk toward the door, and my mom turns back toward the cashier.)

    Mom: “Thank you, ma’am! You were so helpful!”

    Me: *smiling at manager* “Good night!”

    Cannot Produce The Pretzels

    | TX, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My father has sent me to a small neighborhood grocery to buy a package of pretzels. After searching through the snack section in vain, I approach the owner.)

    Me: “Where are the pretzels?”

    Owner: “Did you look in produce?”

    Me: “Why would pretzels be in produce?”

    Owner: “What are pretzels, anyway?”

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