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    He Swore It Was On Aisle Three

    | Cordova, TN, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Language & Words

    (I am looking for something in the organic section. I am in the store at around 12:15 am. I walk up to a night stocker.)

    Me: “Can you tell me where to find organic coconut oil?”

    Him: “That mother-f***** is going to be on aisle three.”

    (I walked away dumbfounded, headed to aisle three, and finally found it on aisle five.)

    Don’t Fall Behind On The Schedule

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I work in a meat department at a big name store. None of the people who work at night are trained to use the saws, so they start having one of the trained people come in at night. We never really know which one, so we have a tendency to ask another night clerk in the department.)

    Me: *stocking the cases*

    Coworker: “Hey, who’s working with us tonight?”

    Me: “[Department Head].”

    Coworker: “D*** it! I hate working with him!”!

    Me: “Um…”

    Coworker: “It’s just so annoying!”

    Me: “…he’s right behind you.”

    Department Head: *stocking another shelf nearby, and turns to say* “That was actually pretty funny!”

    Showered With Irresponsibility

    | Surrey, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A customer comes to my register with some jars of mayonnaise. And by ‘some,’ I mean a whole basketful.)

    Me: “So… that’s quite a lot of mayonnaise you’re buying.”

    Customer: “I know, but my daughter’s expecting.”

    Me: “All of this is for your pregnant daughter?”

    Customer: “Yep. She needs these, or I’m in a lot of trouble.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m really sorry if it’s not my place to judge, but I don’t think you should give that much mayonnaise to your daughter. I understand that cravings can get out of control, but this much mayonnaise can’t possibly be good for her health.”

    Customer: “No! It’s for her baby shower! She’s making deviled eggs!”

    Me: “Oh! That makes more sense.”

    (I should probably work on my conversation skills.)

    Defying Egg-spectations

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Holidays

    (I stop at the grocery store on Thanksgiving morning to get the last few things for dinner.)

    Clerk: “Is that it?”

    Me: “Yes, thank you.”

    Clerk: “Great. Happy Easter!”

    Me: “Had enough of saying ‘Happy Thanksgiving,’ huh?”

    A Very Poor Understanding Of Charity

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (It is shortly before Thanksgiving, and the grocery store I am shopping in has shopping bags filled with holiday items for needy families. The sealed bags are on tables by the checkout. To purchase one, as I had before, you just put it on the belt with your groceries, then pay, and drop it into a donation bin by the exit. I pick up one of these bags and put it on the belt with my groceries.)

    Cashier: *gesturing to the charity bag* “That isn’t for you.”

    Me: “I’m sorry…  What?”

    Cashier: “Those are for needy families. You can’t have it.”

    Me: “I’m not buying it for me. I’m going to put it in the bin by the door.”

    Cashier: “You can’t buy those! They aren’t for you! You are taking food from needy families!”

    Me: “I bought one the other day so it can be given to a needy family.”

    Cashier: “They shouldn’t have let you. You have to put it back.”

    (I am wondering if I should bother to have a manager called over when the cashier from the next checkout says to my cashier:)

    Other Cashier: “What are you doing, [Cashier]? Those bags are for any customer to buy and donate. The store ships them to a charity that gives them to the families.”

    Cashier: “Oh. I thought only the poor could buy them.”

    (The cashier still seemed reluctant, but she did ring out my order and allow me to make my donation. I hope I was the first customer who had tried to buy one of those bags in her lane.)


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