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    Taxing Taxis

    | AB, Canada | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (Many years ago I worked in a grocery store. We had the local taxi service under contract to do deliveries for us, and we had a delivery ready to go.)

    Me: “[Cashier], hey, we’ve got an order ready to go. Could you call the taxi company and get them to come pick it up, please?”

    Cashier: “Sure! What’s the number?”

    Me: *states phone number*

    Cashier: “And then what?”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Cashier: “Well, what do I say to them?” *begins talking in a really sarcastic tone* “Hi! This is [Cashier] at [Grocery Store]! I’d like to order a taxi, please!”

    Me: “Yes. That’s exactly what you say.”

    Cashier: “REALLY? That’s all you have to do to call a taxi?”

    Me: “Yup. Now, could you do it, please?”

    Cashier: “Well, I can’t.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Cashier: “Because I’m shy. I can’t talk to a complete stranger on the phone.”

    Be The Change You Want To Give

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (My fiancé and I are going through a check-out with a small amount of food so I decide to pay with cash, which I have never done at this store before.)

    Cashier: “Your total is $12.56.”

    (I hand the cashier a $20 bill. He hands it back to me. I think it’s odd, but I don’t say anything, assuming that’s how they handle cash at this location.)

    Cashier: “And $7.44 is your change.”

    (The cashier hands me the change and I try to hand him the $20 bill, but he doesn’t take it.)

    Me: “Sir, the $20?”

    Cashier: *genuinely confused* “What?”

    Me: “You need to take the $20.00.”

    (The cashier just stared at me uncertainly.)

    Me: “You handed me the $20 back after I gave it to you and now you have handed me the change too. Please, take the $20.”

    (He finally took it but still seemed completely unconvinced.)

    Me: *to my fiancé, after we leave* “I really don’t think he believed me. I never had to work so hard to convince someone to take my money before.”

    Fiancé: “I don’t think he believed you either, but he will when his register isn’t short that $20 at the end of the night!”

    Her Days Here Are Numbered

    | Erie, PA, USA | At The Checkout, New Hires

    (I’m a manager at a small grocery store and we have just hired a few cashiers. I am the one who has to train them and most are getting the hang of it… except one.)

    Cashier: “[My Name], call line one.”

    Me: *picking up* “Yes?”

    Cashier: “So, this customer has bananas. What do I do?”

    Me: “Look for the PLU on the sticker. And if there aren’t any stickers, look it up in your binder.”

    Cashier: “Oh, okay.” *10 seconds later* “[My Name], call line one.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Cashier: “What’s the PLU for oranges?”

    Me: “Like I said before, put in the PLU on the sticker or look it up in the binder.”

    Cashier: “Oh, right.”

    Cashier: “[My Name], call line one.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Cashier: “I can’t find the number for oranges. Can’t you just tell me?”

    (Since I’ve worked there so long, I know most of the PLUs by memory but we’re supposed to make the new cashiers look up all PLUs to give them practice.)

    Me: “I’ll be right out.”

    (I go out to help her. I physically show her where the PLU for oranges are.)

    Cashier: “Thanks!”

    (I start to leave.)

    Cashier: “Wait!” *holds up head of cabbage* “What’s the number for lettuce?”

    Needs To Drop Their Baggage

    | Santa Clara, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Employees

    (My county has outlawed plastic bags; and now you must bring a reusable bag or pay a small fee for paper bags. On this day, I’m buying a case of beer and a case of soda.)

    Cashier: “Is that all?” *scans, pauses, and then grabs two paper bags*

    Me: “Wait. I don’t need bags, and these boxes wouldn’t fit anyway.”

    Cashier: “If you don’t bring a bag, we gotta charge you for paper.”

    Me: “But I don’t need bags… These are already packaged, and they’re going right in my truck.”

    Cashier: “Hey, it’s the law! No bag, we charge you for paper!”

    (At that point, another cashier came over and they have a brief, hushed, conversation. Angrily, the cashier finished the transaction. As I left, I could still hear her saying ‘he’s supposed to bring bags…’)

    A Whole New Kind Of Drinking Problem

    | ME, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (I work as a cashier. I’m at a large register where I scan a lot of groceries at once. I scan a glass bottle filled with a purple liquid inside.)

    Me: “Would you like your drink left out?”

    Customer: “That’s salad dressing.”

    (Puzzled, I stop and look over at the glass bottle stopped at the belt by a bunch of other items. Sure enough, it’s a brand of salad dressing, in a glass bottle, that I never knew existed!)

    Me: “…so it is!”

    Customer: “I don’t think I’d like a drink of that!”

    Me: “I don’t think so; that’d be nasty!”

    (We both laughed it off, and on the few times I’ve seen her and recognize her, we joke about it!)


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