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  • Never Too Young For A Sparkling Christmas

    | London, England, UK | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am 21 but look much younger. It is around Christmas and I am buying sparkling juice. It is non-alcoholic but is in a wine bottle.)

    Cashier: *with stern look, snatchs the bottle away* “Where is your ID?”

    Me: *confused* “I don’t need it.”

    Cashier: “You cannot buy this!”

    Me: “This isn’t actual wine.”

    (The cashier starts to get really pissed and calls a friend to handle a ‘stubborn’ customer.)

    Friend: “Just give us your ID.”

    (At this point, the cashier is ready to throw me out of the store. Other customers are staring.)

    Me: “I didn’t bring any ID. It is non alcoholic. Have a read.”

    Cashier: “No! You cannot buy it. You are underage. Where is your ID?”

    (I looked at the friend, practically begging him to read the bottle label. Fortunately, he did. He pointed the word “non-alcoholic” to the cashier, who immediately turned red faced. This was followed by awfully quiet and awkward transaction. The next time I went there I bought actual wine with my ID. I purposely chose the same cashier, and the shocked look on his face when he saw my birthdate was rather satisfying.)

    Someone Needs A Sabbathical

    | Shorewood, WI, USA | Employees, Holidays, Ignoring/Inattentive, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (It is just before Hanukkah and my father goes into the neighborhood grocery store for candles. He finds the “Jewish Items” aisle but there are no candles, so he goes to the service desk.)

    Father: “Excuse me, do you have Hanukkah candles?”

    Employee: “Sure we do!”

    Father: “Can you show me where?”

    Employee: “Sure.” *leads him back to the aisle he’d been in*

    Father: “I’m sorry, I don’t see them.”

    Employee: “Right here! See, it says ‘shabbat’ right on the box!”

    Father: “That’s, uh, not going to help.”

    Employee: “You mean they’re not the same thing?”

    Father: “This city’s what, forty percent Jewish?”

    Getting Out Of Work With Surgical Precision

    , | KS, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Overtime, School

    (I work in a deli inside of a chain grocery store. I’m always on closing duty which has me at work until well after midnight. I’m also a full-time college student. I’m usually fine going into class on very little sleep, but I don’t want to take tests like that, so I put in for time off on the nights before my final exams, which are all early in the morning. The week before my exams, we’re given our schedules for the following week.)

    Me: “Uh, [Manager], you’ve got me down to work close next Wednesday night. I asked for it off and you approved it, but then you scheduled me.”

    Manager: “Oh. Well, can you still come in?”

    Me: I’d rather not. I have to be up early Thursday morning for exams. It’s just next week; I’m off for the summer so I can work whatever hours you need after that. But, I really don’t want to take important exams on three or four hours of sleep.

    Manager: “Hmm.” *says nothing more and goes back to work*

    (I assume I am still going to have to go in, so decide to just suck it up and hope for the best. Fast forward to the following Wednesday. I arrive for my shift, to find that a coworker who hadn’t been on the schedule is there. She is as surprised to see me as I am to see her.)

    Coworker: “Why are you here? [Manager] asked me to cover for you because you said you couldn’t come in.”

    Me: “Seriously?! She didn’t say anything to me about that. I had asked for tonight off because of my exams tomorrow morning, but she put me down anyway. But, okay, if you’re here I guess I’ll go home—”

    Coworker: “No, we should really talk to a manager to make sure.”

    Me: “All of the managers are gone, I think. One of the store managers might still be here… but we’d better hurry because they won’t be here long.”

    (We manage to find the store assistant manager, who is the only one still in, and explain the situation.)

    Me: “[Manager] hadn’t told me she was having someone cover, but since we’ve got coverage, I’d really like to head home so I can be well-rested for my exams tomorrow.”

    Coworker: “I GUESS I could stay but… my little boy is only five months old and he just had surgery on his poor little feet this morning. I hated to leave him but [Manager] asked…”

    (I’m confused because this coworker had never mentioned her son having surgery scheduled — and she talks incessantly about EVERYTHING related to her son, even an inconsequential sneeze. And why would she have agreed to cover for me if her baby was scheduled for surgery that day?)

    Assistant Manager: “Oh!” *gives me a dirty look then turns back to my coworker* “You go right on home to be with your baby. He needs you.” *turns back to me, and says rather rudely* “Go get clocked in and get to work.”

    (The other closer ended up calling in sick, leaving me to close by myself. I went in to my exams the next morning on under two hours of sleep, and failed them both. The kicker? The bakery manager saw me the next day, heard what happened, and informed me that she saw my coworker and her husband only minutes before I walked in — showing off her not-been-operated-on baby to the bakery employees.)

    Not An Apples To Apples World Anymore

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m buying some fruit, and I’ve brought my own re-usable cloth bags.)

    Cashier: *stares blankly into my bag, which contains Macintosh apples*

    Bagger: “What’s the matter?”

    Cashier: “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

    Bagger: “The cloth bags? Yeah, they’re not that common.”

    Cashier: “No, man. These APPLES, man! What the heck are they? I’ve never seen apples like these in my life.”

    Bagger: “Uh, they’re Macintoshes. We sell a lot of those.”

    Cashier: *shaking his head* “There are so many different types of apples, man, and I can’t keep up.”

    The (Square) Root Of The Problem

    | KY, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful, Math & Science

    (I’ve been looking in a stack for a recipe that I’ve printed off multiple times in the past month, but keeps getting lost.)

    Me: “Ugh, how do we lose so many of these recipes?”

    Coworker: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Well, why not? You’re supposed to know. Why else would we keep you?”

    Coworker: “Well then, the answer is the square root of laziness times the cosine of disorganization.”

    (It was the nerdiest way to say our coworkers were lazy slobs, but it made my day!)

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