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    Your Job Is A Joke

    | NS, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (It’s a slow day, so a male coworker, a female coworker, and myself are chatting when we notice the light has burnt out on one of the registers. My male coworker grabs a new bulb and climbs up onto the register belt to change it. My female coworker and I follow.)

    Me: “You’re so good at changing light bulbs!”

    Male Coworker: “Thank you. I practice all the time. Wow, this thing is really dirty!”

    Female Coworker: “Maybe you should do some cleaning while you’re up there…”

    (Just then a customer walks up to us and looks from my coworker standing on the register to the two of us on the floor watching.)

    Customer: “How many [store] employees does it take to change a light bulb?”

    You Bread My Mind

    | Franklin, TN, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (My boss is known for inserting innuendos into conversations and remaining completely deadpan. My coworkers and I in customer service are used to this and find it hilarious. My brother, who works in the bakery of my store, has never met my boss. After her shift one day, my boss goes to the bakery to get a baguette. My coworker sometimes works in the bakery, but is usually in the customer service department and so is familiar with our boss’s banter.)

    Boss: “Do you have any baguettes?”

    (My brother looks in the bins and doesn’t see any.)

    Brother: “Nope. Hey, [Coworker], do we have any baguettes?”

    Coworker: “I have a long hot one in the back.”

    Boss: “Do I have to be in a certain position to get it?”

    Not Makin’ It Out

    | ME, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

    (I’m known for being rather quick-witted and goofy. One of the shift leaders comes over to me while I’m on the service desk.)

    Shift Leader: “How you makin’ out over here?”

    Me: “Well, I’ve never kissed a girl before but as soon as I have, I’ll let you know.”

    Shift Leader: *leaves with a large smile on her face trying hard not to laugh!*

    Take A Swipe At An Easy Purchase

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Money

    (I’m making a small purchase at a local food store.)

    Cashier: “That’ll be one dollar, please.”

    Me: “Really? One dollar flat?”

    Cashier: “Yes sir, just one dollar.”

    Me: *swipes dollar bill, then hands it to her* “Here you go.”

    Cashier: “Thank you.” *swipes receipt* “Have a great day!”

    Best To Wash Your Hands Of It And Walk Away

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Employees, Health & Body

    (I am in a local grocery store that isn’t very nice, but the prices are low. I need to use the washroom. While in there, an employee comes in, does her business, and leaves without washing her hands. Totally grossed out, I leave without buying anything and send a letter to the corporate office. A couple of weeks later, I receive this reply:)

    Letter: “Please accept our apologies for the incident that occurred at [Store]. Enclosed is a gift card for $10.”

    (That was fine and all, but I wasn’t looking for a freebie – I was hoping they’d say that they’d have a talk with their staff about the importance of good hygiene, especially if you’re going to be working with food. The kicker was that the ‘$10 gift card’ was actually for $5!)


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