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    Not As Clear As Glass

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    (A friend and coworker of mine surprised me with a case of Coca Cola in glass bottles for my birthday, so the both of us decide to drink one with our lunch. Our manager comes in and sees us drinking them.)

    Manager: “Are you two drinking beer at work?”

    Coworker: “No, it’s Coke. See?”

    (She holds it up so he can see the label.)

    Manager: “Don’t lie to me! Coke doesn’t come in glass bottles! You’re drinking beer, aren’t you?”

    Me: “But Coke does come in glass bottles! They sell them at the [Grocery Store Chain]!”

    Manager: “I go to the [Grocery Store Chain] all the time and I’ve never seen them selling Coke in glass bottles!”

    Me: “Okay, fine. We’re not drinking Coke; it’s ‘Nuka Cola.'”

    (Nuka Cola is a radioactive soda from a video game.)

    Manager: “Oh, well, why didn’t you say so? Sorry to interrupt your lunch break. Make sure one of you reorganizes the shelves in the reptile section before you get off your shift. They’re a mess.”

    Brain At A Low Dollar Value

    | Winchester, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m at a well known pet store looking at fish since I have recently upgraded my aquarium. I notice that one of the fish that I’m looking at is currently running under a 5 for $5 deal with the store card.)

    Me: “Okay. So I think I’ll go ahead and get some of these since they’re 5 for $5. But I want 10.”

    Employee: “What? No. You can’t do that. It’s 5 for $5. Not 10 for $5.”

    Me: “I understand that. I want 10 fish for $10.”

    Employee: “No! It’s only 5 for $5! You can’t do 10 for $10!”

    Me: “Just go ahead and give me 10. Let’s just see what happens at the registers.”

    (Sure enough when we go to the registers, I am right and I get my 10 for $10. She seems extremely confused by this.)

    Employee: “I really didn’t know it worked like that.”

    They Don’t Have You Covered

    | GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I worked the morning shift and am due to clock out. One of the other workers has called out, so the only people on duty are me and a manager. Note that this manager is known for shirking her responsibilities and texting instead of working.)

    Manager: “[My Name], can you stay a little longer? [Coworker] just called to say she’d be late and I can’t run the store on my own.”

    Me: “Sure thing.”

    Manager: “Great, thanks!”

    (She then proceeded to shut herself in the office – leaving me to run the store on my own.)

    When Hunger Bugs You

    | VA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (At my pet store we sell crickets which many animals, such as lizards, use as a staple in their diet. We are encouraged to chat with the customers to make them feel welcome. The following conversation happens while I am putting crickets in a bag for a customer.)

    Customer: “Do you have any reptiles yourself?”

    Me: “No, but I have nine hermit crabs and their care is very similar to the reptiles at the store. Do you have any critters yourself?”

    Customer: “No, I just felt hungry…”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “That’s not what I meant! I stopped by [Popular Fast Food Restaurant] and decided to get some crickets for my son’s bearded dragon.”

    Me: *hands him bag of crickets while laughing*

    Not Quite On A Career Rat Race

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (My manager and I are talking about an upcoming trade show when one of our employees walks up to us. She has worked at the store for about six months and her mother is the manager of another one of our locations.)

    Employee: “So, when do mice grow up into rats?”

    Manager: “[Employee]! You work at a pet store!”


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