A Healthy Knowledge Of Unhealthy Foods

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m working as the executive admin for a three-year-old company that has grown very quickly to be international. There’s a VVIP group coming in for a few days to meet with the executive team and I’ve been asked to coordinate meals.)

Me: “Since they’re going to be here early in the morning, do you want me to have breakfast catered? There are several places nearby that do breakfast catering and they’re pretty good.”

Executive: “That’s not necessary. We’ll really just want something quick and easy every morning. Could you pick up something on your way in? Don’t do donuts, they’re too unhealthy, but some healthy pastries would be great.”

Me: “Um… healthy pastries?”

Executive: “Yes, that would be great!”

(The next morning I stopped and got bagels from a gourmet bagel place because they were the healthiest pastry I could think of. I was pulled aside by the executive later that day.)

Executive: “Why did you bring bagels? I said healthy pastries!”

Me: “I honestly can’t think of any tasty pastries that are healthy.”

Executive: “They’re out there! Tomorrow make sure we have them!”

(The next day I went to a European bakery on my way into the office and picked up a dozen beautiful, buttery, gourmet pastries. The same executive came up to me later that day.)

Executive: “Those pastries were perfect! I told you that you could figure something out!”

Me: “Those were definitely NOT healthy.”

Executive: “They were what I was talking about though, so keep that place in mind for next time!”

Double Standard Makes Them Doubly Ugly

| UK | Coworkers, Health & Body

(My coworkers and I are all female and they’re reading a clothing magazine that has recently been pushing for models of different sizes. I overhear the following conversation:)

Coworker #1: “Wow, look at her! She looks great for her age.”

Coworker #2: “Yes and look here, she’s a bit larger but she looks stunning.”

Coworker #1: “It’s so good to see real women finally represented; guys should really learn to appreciate them for who they are.”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, it shouldn’t matter what you look like. It’s how you feel and what’s inside. They should ban all unrealistic body sizes outright!”

(I think nothing of it until I overhear another conversation later on in the day. My coworkers have reached the men’s section of the magazine.)

Coworker #1: “Wow! I like very much!”

Coworker #2: “Yes, look at him. My type: thin, abs, tanned, great hair. Mmm!”

(They turn over several pages of similar looking men that fit this description.)

Me: “Hey, do you think they should increase diversity among male models? You know, more realistic body sizes and different figures.”

(They both look at me like I’m mad.)

Coworker #1: “What? No! Eww, I don’t want to look at fat, ugly guys at all. Why would you suggest that?”

Coworker #2: “Are your standards like, really low? Why would you want that in your magazines?”

Me: “But, you said about the women…”

Coworker #2: *rolls eyes* “Ugh, you clearly don’t understand…”

(I clearly don’t… sometimes I wonder about all these double standards.)

Your Eyes Are Fine But The Hearing Is Another Matter

| WI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(The other day I went to a well-known eye care and glasses store to get a check-up and new prescription for my eyesight. Since I came in on a Saturday afternoon for my appointment, the person in charge of fitting the lenses into frames was already heading home for the day, and I had to wait until Monday to come in to pick it up. I was fine with this, and told them I’d wait for their call so I’d know when to pick it up. Mid-Monday afternoon, I receive a call from them. Note: I am a young adult.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hi, this is [Caller] from [Eye-Care Store]. Is your mom or dad there?”

Me: *confused, since my mobile phone was called* “…No?”

Caller: “Oh, well then, would you like me to call back and leave a message on the machine for them?”

Me: “Are you… calling about an eye doctor appointment?”

Caller: “No, I’m calling about a prescription pick-up for [My Name].”

Me: “That’s me.”

Caller: “Oh! Are you the mom?”

Me: *after a pause* “No, I am the twenty-year-old child.”

Caller: “Oh! I’m so sorry. When you first picked up, you sounded like a little girl!”

Me: “…”

(I ended up getting a good laugh about it and let them know I would pick up my prescription as soon as I could.)

Barely Coping-Hagen

| Copenhagen, Denmark | Bad Behavior, Employees, Tourists & Travel

(I’m Malaysian and as such do not need a visa to visit the UK for up to three-months. I’m checking in for my flight from Copenhagen to London, just to transit through, and the lady behind the desk is very insistent that I need a visa.)

Me: “I’m Malaysian, and we do not need a visa to visit the UK for not longer than three months.”

Agent: “Hold on; I’m checking.” *speaks angrily and rapidly in Danish to a fellow agent*

Me: “Excuse me, but a quick check online will show that I don’t need a visa.”

Agent: “Shut up.” *waves finger in my face* “Don’t you tell me what to do. Don’t YOU f****** tell ME what to do.”

(Not being able to afford to run the risk of missing this flight I kept quiet but inside I was absolutely furious. I filed a complaint with the airline but never heard anything back. I was eventually allowed to board my flight but I am certainly avoiding this carrier from now onwards.)

Lima Explain Some Geography To You

| USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Geography

(Every month the employees at my workplace have a lunch social, and it’s planned by a different group of employees every month, selected randomly from each department so it’s not an entire department in charge every time. This month my group decides on a nacho/taco bar, and we start making assignments for food, decorations, utensils, and the like.)

Coworker #1: “We should have some Hispanic music playing during lunch. Get the fiesta feeling going.”

Me: “Ooh, I love making mix CDs! I can burn one full of Latin songs.”

Coworker #1: “Nah, let’s assign it to [Coworker #2]. He’s Mexican! [Coworker], you probably know a LOT of Mexican songs, don’t you?”

Coworker #2: *baffled look* “But… I’m not Mexican. I’m Peruvian.”

Coworker #1: “Isn’t that basically the same thing?”

Me: *facepalms along with several other workers, including one of the supervisors*

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