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This Day Is Going Down Under

| Matamoras, PA, USA | Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

(I work at a fast food restaurant, when I hear a strange noise in the headset.)

Me: “What on earth was that?”

(The noise continues and one of my other coworkers has a plastic cup up to his mouth and is blowing/humming into it.)

Coworker #1: “It sounds like a didgeridoo.”

Coworker #2: “How about you didgeri-don’t?”

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Things Will Only Get Purse From Here

| WI, USA | Coworkers, Love/Romance, Rude & Risque

(I recently started my first job at a popular fast food chain. After clocking out of my third shift, I go into the back room to grab my things and find one of my coworkers digging through her purse.)

Coworker: “Ugh! I hate these things! I wish I could carry a wallet but my husband says they’re unladylike!”

Me: *without thinking* “Screw your husband!”

Coworker: *turns to look at me, deadpan* “Oh, believe me. I do.”

(She walked away as I began to wheeze with laughter.)

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A Cystematic Fail

| CT, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I’ve called my doctor’s office to reschedule my appointment. It’s been my third rescheduling due to car troubles and illness. While setting my appointment I ask to have a refill of my birth control sent to my pharmacy so I’d be able to get through now and my appointment. A few hours later I receive this call from the office.)

Nurse: “Hi, [My Name], we can’t give you a refill because you’ve skipped so many appointments. You’ll have to wait until you come in.”

Me: “I understand, but what will I do without my pills for two weeks?”

Nurse: *in a very condescending tone* “Well, sweetie, you’ll just have to learn to use condoms.”

Me: “Ma’am, are you a nurse?”

Nurse: “What does that have to do with anything?”

Me: *upset at her attitude* “Are you a nurse?”

Nurse: “You do not have to yell, but yes I am.”

Me: “Then if you look in my file you can see I’m on the pill for ovarian cysts. So tell me how condoms will help that?”

Nurse: “Okay… so where is your pharmacy?”

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High-Pressure Job

| Italy | Coworkers, Health & Body

(There’s a reorganization in progress at my company, which no one likes, and of which I’ve been openly critical. One morning I wake up with a terrible headache and find that the weather has changed during the night; in fact, it’s pouring. I take a painkiller and, some time later, I call in sick.)

Coworker: “Hello, this is [Company].”

Me: “Hi, it’s [My Name]. I’ll be coming to work late today. I’ve got a splitting headache.”

Coworker: “Oh, take it easy, poor thing. Must have been the change of the pressure…”

Me: “…or the pressure of the change.”

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