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A Flying Charm-ing Employee

| USA | Geeks Rule

(I am the customer in this story. I am looking to buy a broom. It should also be noticed that I am a Harry Potter fan.)

Me: “Hi, could you please show me where the brooms are?”

Employee: “Sure! We have some here.”

(He leads me to a section with tons of brooms.)

Me: “Wow, there sure are a lot of options!”

Employee: “That’s right! If you want my advice, take this one. It’s like a Nimbus 2001, and the others are like Nimbus 2000s.”

(I laugh.)

Me: “Do you have any Firebolts?”

Employee: “We do have an excellent broom over here.” *leads me to another section that is empty* “Uh-oh, I think someone left their invisibility cloak over the brooms.”

Me: “That’s fine; I’ll take the Nimbus 2001.”

Employee: “Excellent choice. Happy flying!”

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The Manager Is Two-Timing You

| WA, Australia | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring & Inattentive

(We have three stations for our counter – two baristas and a third person to work on food and take orders. Our store manager consistently gets in trouble with head office for understaffing us. We have a group meeting:)

Store Manager: “I’m consistently getting complaints about coffees being slow. What do you guys need to go faster?”

Coworker #1: “We need three people.”

Store Manager: “If I give you three people, one person isn’t busy most of the time. It’s a waste of money.”

Coworker #2: “But if we only have two people, any time there’s orders to take, food to prepare, or somebody on break, we slow down massively.”

Store Manager: “I send help when you need it, don’t I?”

(Next shift, it’s just me and Coworker #1.)

Store Manager: “I’m not giving you a third person because you’re not busy enough. [My Name], take our parked drive-thru orders as well.”

(An hour later:)

Store Manager: “Why aren’t you doing quick coffees? This isn’t good enough. I want quick coffees!”

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Got To Give Them Credit For Trying Again And Again And Again

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(While perusing cheese, I am approached by a woman selling store credit cards. My husband has accused me of being too nice in these situations…)

Woman: “Hello! Can I interest you in a [Store] credit card?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Woman: “But you are shopping here; you could receive so many extra store points with a store credit card!”

Me: “I guess, but I am really not interested in another credit card.”

Woman: “We can talk about it while you shop! I can even get you started on an application! It’s very easy!”

Me: “No, really. I’m not interested, thanks.”

Woman: “All I need is your name and address, and we can get that going for you.”

Me: “I’m really not comfortable with this. I’m not interested.”

Woman: “But you shop here! You should get a card!”

Me: *thinking how I could shake this woman* “Well, I’m actually here to get a prescription, so I don’t have any time to look at this. Maybe I could look at a pamphlet—”

Woman: “Oh, no, we don’t have pamphlets. But if you give me your name and mailing address I can get you signed up and you’ll receive additional information in the mail!”

Me: “No, I don’t want that. And I have to go now. My prescription—”

Woman: “Are you picking it up here in the store? I can walk with you and we can get this application going!”

Me: “NO. No. Thank you, but no. I’m not—”

Woman: “You really should get the credit card; you can use it in the pharmacy as well!”

Me: “NO, THANK YOU. I HAVE TO GO NOW!”

(I used my very long legs to zoom away from her. It wasn’t until after I had picked up my prescription that I realized I had walked away with goat cheese… I was too afraid of encountering the saleswoman again, so I bought the cheese and went home!)

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That Sale Went To The Dogs

| WA, USA | Employees, Pets & Animals

(My husband receives a call from a telemarketer. I hear only his half of the conversation.)

Husband: “Yes, I’m familiar with [Well-Known Home Security System].”

Husband: “No, I don’t think you can secure my home.”

Husband: “What can you offer me that’s better than my two Dobermans?”

Husband: “I have two adult Dobermans. I think they do a pretty good job of keeping my home safe. I don’t think you can offer anything that’s going to do better than that.”

(A minute later he hung up the phone.)

Husband: “Poor girl. I completely threw her off her script.”

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Worming Their Way Into Your Bad Books

| Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Pets & Animals

(I’m buying superworms for my salamanders. The pet store has a large display of ferrets near the front.)

Me: *to store employee* “Excuse me, could I feed a worm to the ferrets?”

Employee: “I… Let me check with my manager.”

Me: *to Manager* “I’d like to feed the ferrets one of these worms.”

Manager: “Uh, no. Ferrets don’t eat worms!”

Me: *to my friend* “What does she think wild ferrets eat, ferret food?!”

(I looked it up. Ferrets can eat, and most of them love, superworms.)

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