A Raggedy Sale

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Coworkers, Money, Pranks

(I’m working at the pie table and have a bag of cleaning rags under the table. Every now and then someone comes and ‘steals’ towels out of my bag so I decide to have some fun with the next one.)

Me: “Just to let you know, those are a dollar apiece.”

Coworker: “Okay. Put it on my tab! I’ll pay you Friday.”

(Comes back a few minutes later.)

Coworker: “I need a few more. Is there a discount if I buy in bulk?”

Me: “Yes. They’re still one for $1 or five for $5.”

Coworker: *thinks for a moment* “That’s a terrible sale! I’m never shopping here again and going somewhere that has better deals.”

(By this point I’m laughing too hard to respond.)


Your Argument Veers To The Left

| USA | Bizarre/Silly, Health & Body

(A father-in-law and son-in-law team of plumbers are working on our broken drain line, and the father-in-law gets up with muck on his gloves and goes out to the truck to find a part.)

Father-In-Law: *swearing* “Why are there never any right gloves in this truck?”

Son-In-Law: “Because you’re left-handed.”

Father-In-Law: “What’s that got to do with it?”

Son-In-Law: “Every time the phone rings on your hip, you strip off your right glove and answer it. Your left hand keeps working.”

Father-In-Law: “…” *quietly* “I don’t do that. Do I?”

(No more complaints about right gloves!)


Has No Idea What’s In Store

| Scotland, UK | Overtime

(I’m the idiot in this story. I’ve just moved town for university. Up until the previous week I worked at a hotel and a store. I have transferred store, but work between both of its locations which have different names. The phone rings so I go to answer it in our normal fashion.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Hotel]. I mean [Store #1 in Town #1]. Wait, no, [Store #2 in New Town]– Nope, sorry, this is definitely [Store #3 in New Town]. My name is [My Name] and I clearly need a coffee. How can I help you?”


Directionless Direction

| OK, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I live on corner on a main road. The cross street is clearly numbered (like 143rd street). The cross street doesn’t continue so it is T with 2 corners. I live on one corner and the other corner is a 40-acre field, and the opposite of both corners is just woods. After ordering food, my instructions to the driver included the cross street and house number and I say “it’s the only house at the intersection.”)

Driver: “Hey, I’ve been driving around and I can’t find your house.”

Me: “Where are you?”

Driver: “At the corner of [X] and [Y].”

Me: “What do the directions say?”

Driver: “That it’s the only house at the corner of [X] and [Y].”

Me: “Do you see a house?”

Driver: “Yes.”

Me: “Is it the only house at the intersection?”

Driver: “Yes.”

Me: “Any reason you can’t deliver it to me there?”

Driver: “Well, I guess not.”

(It would have been bad enough if it happened once, but it happened a lot. I eventually refined the instructions to indicate which street the house faced, but even that didn’t help.)


Rock Solid Prank

| NM, USA | Awesome Workers, Pranks, Tourists & Travel

(My father-in-law used to lead caving tours in a national park. This is one of the stories he told us. While leading a small group of VERY hung-over guys…)

Father-In-Law: “Okay, we’re going to have to crawl through this crack. It’s so narrow if you take a deep breath you’ll get stuck. You have to take your pack off and push it ahead of you while you crawl through. There’s also an incline half-way through, so you have to bend yourself up and over to keep going. I’ll wait for all of you to start in and go through last to make sure everyone gets through.”

(After the last person starts in, he runs through the totally open cave room to the other side of the rock formation they’re crawling through. As the first person begins to exit…)

Father-In-Law: “Man, you guys are moving slow today! What’s taking so long?”

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