Very Bad Reception… Probably

| IL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners

(I’m the receptionist for a tattoo shop. My boss calls me into his office.)

Boss: “Can you check for a name and email address in our system to see who they worked with?”

(I check.)

Me: “The name came back with nothing, meaning they have never been a client.

Boss: “Hmm. I received an email. The subject line read, ‘Your receptionist’ and the body of the email was, ‘is a c***.’ I replied to the email asking who it was he spoke to, as there are two receptionists, and asked for the details of the conversation so I may reprimand accordingly. I never received a response. I’m not really sure what this is about, so just…”

Me: “Don’t be c***?”

Boss: “Yeah. Don’t be a c***.”

Needs A Sweeter Disposition

| CA, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink

(It’s seven am in the office, and only two people there – I, a female, and one male coworker.)

Me: “There’s some really great chocolate in the kitchen. You should try it.”

Male Coworker: “I don’t really eat sweets.”

Me: “What is wrong with you?!”

(A couple of days later, I overhear a conversation between two completely different coworkers, one male and one female, who were definitely not there for the previous conversation.)

Female Coworker: “There’s some really great chocolate in the kitchen. You should try it.”

Other Male Coworker: “I don’t really eat sweets.”

Female Coworker: “What is wrong with you?!”

Only Swear By The Good Staff

| MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Language & Words

(I’m known for being a goody-two-shoes and relatively quiet. However, I like to joke around.)

Me: *imitating customer* “B****, you didn’t make my Iced Capp icy enough!”

Shift Supervisor: “Did you just swear?! I can’t believe it! That was like hearing baby Jesus swear!”

I Smell Time Warp Trouble

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV

(In the summer, our major theme park chain has employee movie nights after the park closes. The person in charge of the event posts a list of what we can and cannot do while watching the movies, the most prominent:

“No talking, acting up and trashing the theater”

All employees look at the list of movies showing for the summer to plan on what we are wanting to see. When we see “The Rocky Horror Motion Picture Show” a third of the way down the list. Upon seeing that, a coworker and I go to the person in charge of the event.)

Coworker: “[Supervisor], we want to inform you that there is a movie scheduled on [date] that will violate most if not every rule of the code of conduct list for the movies.”

Supervisor: *looking at the list* “Oh, that movie! It’s a cute musical. It is harmless.

Me: “[Supervisor], this movie is a cult classic; we guarantee you that people are going to get on stage and act along with the movie, sing along, throw food, etc. You DON’T want to be showing this movie.”

Supervisor: “You are lying. No one will do that during the movie, and you are all adults, not children. I have watched this at home many times and have not seen that happen during the movie.”

Coworker: “Have you been to any theater that shows this?”

Supervisor: “No, I don’t go to theaters to watch movies. I wait for them to get released and then watch them at home, as theaters get too noisy to enjoy the movie.”

Me: “Precisely! Things are going to get rowdy during the Rocky Horror Show!”

Supervisor: “No, it won’t. I will not hear any more about this. You are all adults and know how to sit quietly and watch the movie.”

Me & Coworker: “It’s your funeral.”

(Cue the day after the movie, notices are posted all over the back stage areas of the park…)

Notice: “Due to employees getting rowdy last night and trashing the theater during the Rocky Horror Show. We are permanently cancelling the employee movie nights because people can’t behave like adults and act like children instead.”

Coworker:  *looks at me* “Called it!”

The Cinema Just Got X-Rated

| Devon, England, UK | Coworkers, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(We have just had a meeting where our general manager has announced she is leaving to work at another cinema, which was unexpected news. Almost everyone has left and I am chatting with some of my coworkers who I am close friends with. I should also point out that Coworker #1 is openly gay.)

Me: “I wonder who our new GM will be. Do you think it will be someone new from another site? Wait, do you think [Manager] will go for it? It would be good.”

Coworker #1: “I think Dee—” *another manager* “—should get it.”

Me: “She’d get it if she wanted it, but I don’t think she does… so that’s why I said [Manager].”

Coworker #1: “Well, I’m just going to be her cheerleader, anyway. I’ll just be like, ‘Dee! Dee! Dee!'”

(Coworker #1 and Coworker #2 start chanting ‘Dee’ together.)

Me: *to Coworker #3* “I don’t think they realise what they sound like, chanting Dee like that.”

(Coworker #3 bursts out laughing and tells Coworker #1 and Coworker #2 who stop chanting.)

Coworker #3: “What do we want? D!”

Coworker #1: “When do we want it? Now!”

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