Welcome To ROCKS Operating System

, | WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Coworker: *with the phone on mute* “Why are you working on a computer?! Stop. Go get a hammer, and break rocks into smaller rocks. Don’t do anything that involves technology!”

(Unmutes the phone.)

Coworker: “Yes, sir. I want you to click the button that says ‘open.'”

Their Data Is Flawed

| Belgium | Employees, Technology

(My cellphone provider checks in about once a year to check if I’m happy with the service and with my current plan. Just a few weeks prior to the following conversation, I had such a check with the conclusion that my current plan is exactly what I need.)

Caller: “Hi, is this [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Caller: “Are you the person deciding on which provider you use?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “In that case [My Name], I have an exciting offer for you. For only [almost double what I pay now], you can call free to all numbers from [Provider] AND double your 3G limit.”

Me: “No, thank you. I’m happy with my current plan.”

Caller: “But [My Name], you are missing out on a great deal. You can call for free!”

Me: “Can you please do something for me? Can you please check my recent usage? How long did I call last month?”

Caller: “For [time comfortable within my limit].”

Me: “And what about my data?”

Caller: “Well, that was [again comfortable within my limit].”

Me: “For the last six months, how often did I call or needed a higher limit for my 3G than was included in my plan?”

Caller: “Well, you did not.”

Me: “So I’ll stick to the current plan, then.”

Caller: “But you could call for free. And double your data limit!”

Me: “You just confirmed me that my current plan is very well suited for my needs and you want me to spend more on a plan you proved I don’t need?”

Caller: “But you can call for free!”

Me: “Not going to happen. Have a nice day.”

(A few days later they wanted me to join their family plan. Being single was no objection.)

Fired Didn’t Burn This Bridge

| USA | Bad Behavior, Job Seekers

(Today one of the cashiers was fired due to her many absences, her swearing in front of customers, and threatening to kill everyone.)

Manager: “I’m really sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go.”

Cashier: “So, when can I apply again?”

Trying To Hang Up At The Appointed Time

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Time

(I call up the local hairdressing salon.)

Me: “Hi! I was wondering if you have any available times today.”

Receptionist: “No, sorry. We can fit you in tomorrow morning, if you’d like?”

Me: “No, that’s okay. I only have today free, so I was just trying my luck. Thanks anyway!”

Receptionist: “How about 9:00 am?”

Me: “What, today?”

Receptionist: “Tomorrow.”

Me: “No, I can’t make it tomorrow. Thanks anyway! Bye then-”

Receptionist: “9:30?”

Me: “No… Bye for now-”

Receptionist: “10:00 am?”

Me: “Um, no?”

Receptionist: “Can you hold the line, please?”

Me: *mostly curious to see why she would want me to hold, since this discussion is going nowhere* “Okay, sure.”

(I hold for a few minutes, and then the boss comes on the line.)

Boss: “Hi. We cannot fit you in today.”

Me: “Yes, I realise that.”

Boss: “We do not have free time.”

Me: “I know… I understood that when it was first explained.”

Boss: “We can fit you in tomorrow?”

Me: “No, but thank you. I’m only free today. Anyway, bye for now-”

Boss: “Well, before you hang up, I’d just like to let you know we are open tomorrow.”

Me: “Um, that’s great, thanks. Bye now!”

Boss: “Just in case you didn’t know. So give us a call if you want to come in tomorrow.”

Me: “Okay, bye!”

(I hung up before she could say it AGAIN. They must have been incredibly desperate to book appointments for the following day!)

Fat Chance Of Firing Family

| UK | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(While ordering:)

Me: “Do you have any bacon?”

Waitress: “Bacon? I think we do.”

Me: “I’ll have a BLT then, please.”

Waitress: *looking me up and down* “Wouldn’t you prefer a salad? You look obese enough already!”

(She was within earshot of the owner, who then dragged her, by the ear, out of the bar.)

Owner: *coming up to us* “Here’s a life lesson: NEVER employ family!”

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