Talking Bananas

| ID, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I often stop to get milkshakes from a Greek food drive-thru known for its shakes. It’s important to note that while the food is Greek, the employees are local, native English speakers.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Fast Food]. What can I get for you?”

Me: “I’d like a large thick vanilla shake and a large thin mint shake.”

Employee: “Okay, so that’s two large vanilla shakes, one thick and one thin?”

Me: “No, a thick vanilla and a thin mint.”

Employee: “Oh, okay, a large thick vanilla and a medium thin vanilla. Got it.”

Me: “No, only ONE vanilla. Thick. The other one is a THIN MINT shake.”

Employee: “…Banana?”

Me: “Please, just let me order at the window.”

The Bosses Need To Clean Up Their Act

| MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Lazy/Unhelpful, Liars/Scammers

(We have a health inspection and it doesn’t go totally well. The owner has a lot of unfinished construction projects going on including floors, seating, tiles, plumbing, and hoods. I had worked the night before, but apparently the owner’s son made a pizza after we closed and made a mess in kitchen, and guess who is blamed? I have two bosses, husband and wife, both lazy in cleaning.)

Boss #1: “We failed the health inspection because you didn’t clean that well.”

Boss #2: “I don’t get why you can’t ever do your god-d*** job and just clean! It’s not that hard to do; after all, we all do it daily!”

Me: “What did they say about the unfinished projects all over for the last four years?”

Boss #1: “This is about you. You didn’t clean properly; the whole pizza line was just covered in toppings and flour all over the place. The bar had drinks spilled all over.”

Boss #2: “Besides, don’t talk to us about our jobs; we can get away with it because we can claim we can’t afford it, but now we’re going to be fined and it’s your fault.”

Boss #1: *addressing to the coworkers just entering their shifts* “Well, everyone blame [My Name] for the lack of raises you will get since he is too lazy to clean properly. Because of him, no one is getting a raise this year. We never take any time off because we are always here working and trying to make our place successful so we can one day retire and/or open a franchise of this place.”

(They were just on vacation less than a week ago for six days to see a concert and celebrate a wedding of a family friend. A month before that they were gone for two weeks for spring break. All the while I haven’t had vacation time in almost three years. I only stay because I need the money, but at this point who knows if I will stay. I hope things improve but they don’t look promising.)

We’ll Resumé This Later

| USA | Job Seekers

(Shortly after college, I got a job as a receptionist at a small, local company. My desk was right inside the front door, in an area completely walled-off from the rest of the building, and separated by one door with a key-card lock. Walk-in appointments were never allowed, so I would take all the messages and deliveries for every employee in the main office behind me. One afternoon, less than a half hour before closing, a college student comes in, dressed professionally, and carrying a folder.)

Student: “I saw your company was hiring interns, and I’d like to drop off my resume.”

Me: “Sure, I can take that and pass it on to HR.”

Student: “I’d like to speak to someone about it before I drop it off.”

Me: “Well, since it’s so late in the afternoon, our HR staff has actually already left for the day. But they’ll get your paperwork first thing in the morning.”

Student: “Can I see someone in charge of the position I’m applying for?”

Me: “He’s actually out of the office, too, I’m afraid.”

Student: “I need to speak to someone I can leave my resume with.”

Me: “You can leave it with me, and I’ll personally set it on our HR head’s desk, and double-check tomorrow morning to make sure she reviews it.”

Student: “Can I speak to someone in charge of hiring?”

(At this point, I can tell he’s not going to leave, even though I can’t give him a walk-in appointment, and even if I could, there is no one currently in the building who would have anything to do with hiring interns. To appease him, I message a coworker in the back to see if anyone from HR stayed late, even though I can see by their IM statuses that they’re all offline. The reply I receive confirms that the entire department is gone already.)

Me: “I’m sorry, everyone in HR has definitely already left for the day. But I go right by their desks on my way out, so I can leave your resume there with a note and your contact information. They’ll get it first thing in the morning.”

Student: “Can I talk to someone that I can leave my resume with?”

Me: “No one’s available right now. It’s the end of the day, and no one’s still here from HR. But I take all their messages and deliveries and I can promise you I’ll have it on the HR head’s desk before I leave tonight.”

Student: “Can I see someone in charge of hiring so I can leave my resume?”

(This continues for several minutes. Finally, in sheer desperation, I let myself into the main office, and grab the first person I see and quickly fill him in on the situation. I drag my poor, bewildered coworker out to the front, where he (finally!) successfully takes the student’s resume. The student, finally satisfied, says a quick “thank you” and hurries out of the office.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what to do! He wouldn’t leave the building until he’d personally handed that to someone besides me!”

Coworker: “No problem. I’ll give this to HR in the morning, but it’s safe to say they’re not going to hire him after they hear about how he dropped this off!”

(We never did hire him. I hope he eventually learned that it’s possible to be TOO persistent when trying to impress a potential employer!)

Shredding Your Hopes Of A Deposit

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Employees, Money

(I made a deposit of $185 in my bank account on Friday night, using the night deposit box. It is now Tuesday, and the deposit has not been applied to my account. Due to overdraft protection, a check I have written is processed in spite of insufficient funds, so I now have a negative balance. I go to the bank several times a week to deposit checks I receive from my clients, so most of the tellers know me. I walk into the bank.)

Teller #1: “Hi! What can I do for you today?”

Me: “Well, I have a problem. I made a deposit on Friday in the deposit box, and the money is not in my account.”

Teller #1: “Okay, was it in an envelope?”

Me: “Yes, with a deposit slip from this checkbook.” *hands her my checkbook*

Teller #1: *looks up my account* “Okay, the good thing about banks is we keep records of everything. If it is here, we will find it.”

(She goes into the back, and several minutes later, a second teller approaches me.)

Teller #2: “How much was your deposit?”

Me: “$185.”

Teller #2: “And when did you make it?”

Me: “Friday night. You had already closed, and I think it might have been 6:30 or 7:00.”

Teller #2: *nods and goes back into the same room as the first teller*

Teller #3: “Hi, [My Name]! How are you today?”

Me: “Well, they are trying to find a deposit I made Friday, but other than that I’m fine.”

Teller #3: “Oh! Well, I’m sure they’ll find it.” *runs off to help them*

(A few minutes later…)

Teller # 1: “We’re going to take the deposit box out, and we’re still looking. Don’t stress about it. Everything will be fine.”

Me: “Okay.”

Teller #1: “We will find it. You know what? How about you sit down over there.” *points* “It’s better than you pacing and worrying here at the counter.”

Me: “Okay.” *sits*

(I wait for several minutes, watching people scurrying back and forth from the vault and listening to Teller #2 and Teller #3 trying to help other customers at the same time that they are looking for my deposit. Finally, Teller #1 comes out to talk to me.)

Teller #1: “Okay. We have eliminated everything except the security camera and the shredder. We are going to go through both, but that will take awhile. So how about you give me more information about what we are looking for and go home, and we will let you know.”

(A little over an hour after I got home, I got a phone call, but I didn’t answer it in time. Soon after, I got a text message from the bank to login to my account. I did, and saw that the balance was adjusted to reflect my deposit and my overdraft fees were removed. This is why I now take pictures of all deposits I make.)

Swear By Your Professionalism

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

(I get along fine with my boss and enjoy working for him, but we had a bit of a rocky start: I’m somewhat shy and he’s prone to angry outbursts, which intimidate me, and this seems to make things even worse. Then one day I decide to change things up a bit.)

Boss: *storms to my desk* “[My Name]! Where’s the f***ing file I need?”

Me: *in a calm tone* “I put the f***ing file on your desk this morning, sir. As requested.”

Boss: “Oh. That’s… fine. Carry on.” *pauses* “Did I say f***?”

Me: *still calm* “No, sir. That would be pretty f***ing unprofessional.”

Boss: *bursts out laughing* “D*** right.”

(He went back to his office happy as pie, and from then on work became a lot better. The best thing about it, though, was the face of my colleague, who overheard the exchange.)

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