Category: Extra Stupid


Can’t Have Your Cake And Eat It

| OK, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’ve been diabetic type 1 since I was eleven, but my coworkers think they know how to manage diabetes better than I do. They’re always very uneducated about diabetes, but this coworker took the cake. This happened during my break on a slow evening.)

Coworker: “I hate needles. If I had diabetes, I would eat whatever I wanted anyway!”

Me: “I would too, but I’d like keep my limbs and organs.”

Coworker: “That can happen?!”

Me: “What did you think would happen if I just stopped taking insulin?!”

Coworker: *grabs the cake I was eating* “Oh, then you CAN’T have this!”

(I told you she took the cake.)


They’re All High On E

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I have just bought a new computer, and decided to upgrade from dial-up to broadband Internet. They come and install everything, and the tech asks me to try to go online. I just get an error message.)

Tech: “Can I try it?”

Me: “Sure, have a seat.”

Tech: “I see the problem. You don’t have Explorer installed.”

Me: “It’s an Apple. It doesn’t use Explorer. It uses Safari.”

Tech: “Well, Explorer should be on the Windows disk. Where is your Windows disk?”

Me: “It’s an Apple. It doesn’t use Windows. It uses OS X. I have an OS X disk, with Safari on it. No Windows, no Explorer.”

Tech: “Oh, the Windows disk should have come with your computer. Go back to the store and tell them you didn’t get it. After you install Explorer, you should be able to go online. If you have any problems, call this number.”

(The tech hands me a card and leaves. I immediately call the number, and ask for an Apple tech. I get transferred to a rep, and we have the following conversation:)

Tech: “Okay, do you see the little blue “e” on the desktop?”

Me: “I have an Apple; I wanted to talk to an Apple tech. Can you transfer me?”

Tech: “Yes, I am the Apple tech. Now, do you see a little blue “e”?”

Me: “It’s an Apple. It runs OS X and Safari. No Windows, no IE.”

Tech: “Well, if you want to get online, you have to install Windows and IE. Call me back when you do that; it will take a few hours.” *click*

(I wound up calling the Apple support desk, and they fixed the problem for me. There was something wrong with the settings on the router.)

A Bad (Den)Mark Against Your Name

| New York City, NY, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Geography

(I used to work at this location before I was transferred to a new location that I am much happier with. Every summer, we offer a tourist discount to any tourists who shows proof, like an ID or passport. An older couple and their adult son enter the store.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]. Where are you visiting from?”

Adult Son: “We are from Denmark.”

Me: “Nice! We offer a 10% discount to tourists with passport.”

Adult Son: “Okay, great! I’ll look around to see what I would like.”

(I proceed to help him with questions about our products. He ends up spending a large amount, even with the discount.)

Me: “Thanks for shopping. Hope you have a safe trip back home!”

Adult Son: “Thanks! Have a good day.”

(With any promotion going on, corporate has us fill a tracking form to see the progress. I enter how much the tourist spent, and which country the person was from. It was until my former coworker stopped me to ask me this:)

Coworker: “How are you going to tell corporate that Denmark is a country?”

Me: “Because Denmark is a country in Europe…”

Coworker: “No, it’s not! It doesn’t sound like it.”

Me: “Denmark is a country in Europe! Do you want me to show you on a map?”

(I proceeded to pull up an image of the European map, and pointed to where Denmark is. She didn’t say anything, but shrugged her shoulders. I also showed her an article to show additional proof of Denmark’s European validity, which said “Kingdom of Denmark.”)

Coworker: “Oh look, it says ‘Kingdom of Denmark,’ so Denmark is part of England.”

Me: “No, Denmark is not part of the UK.”

Coworker: “But it says right there: ‘Kingdom of Denmark.’”

Me: “Yes, it says ‘Kingdom of Denmark,’ but they aren’t part of the UK. They are their own kingdom.”

Coworker: “Why would they call themselves a kingdom if they aren’t part of England? It sounded like Denmark is somewhere in America. It sounded very American.”

Me: “If I told you I am from York, would you think that I’m from York, Pennsylvania or York, England?”

Coworker: “I don’t know. I would think you’re from Pennsylvania because you speak like an American.”

(At times, my former manager calls the store to check any sales progress if she isn’t working. I answer the phone, and tell her the confusion my coworker had.)

Manager: “It’s okay, corporate doesn’t have to know YOU made a mistake. Just change the country to Italy, and they don’t have to know that you gave the discount to Denmark.”

Me: “But Denmark is a country in Europe!”

Manager: “No, it’s not. Just change it, and you’ll be fine.”

(Needless to say, I didn’t change it, and I didn’t get into trouble. The company opened a new location, of which I made the wise decision to transfer. I now work with a more intelligent crowd that definitely knows where Denmark is!)

The Not-So-Smartphone Generation

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, New Hires

(I work in a market research call centre as a training supervisor. Trainees have old-fashioned telephones with wired handsets instead of headsets like they’d have doing “live” calls.)

Me: “We’re using old-style phones, the kind with a handset, coiled cord, all attached to a phone body base with buttons you push for the numbers to make calls, so you don’t get put on the automatic dialer. Just dial any phone number like you would on any regular phone. Now pick up your handsets…” *pause as everyone does so* “Good. Now I’m going to give you my home phone number so that we’re not dialing an actual random person for a training survey. Please dial [number]. One of you will get my answering machine or a very surprised husband and the rest of you will get a busy signal. Feel free to leave a weird answering message or mess with my husband, whoever gets through.” *trainees chuckle*

Trainee: “Miss! Miss!”

Me: “Yes?”

Trainee: “My phone does not work.”

Me: “Your phone doesn’t work?”

Trainee: “No. My phone does not work.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Trainee: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay. Try dialing again.”

(I then get distracted by someone else needing help. When I’m done, I ask her again.)

Me: “Did it work this time?”

Trainee: “No. It did not work.”

(I scratch my head and head over, looking at the phone.)

Me: “Let me try.” *take the handset from her and dial my number, phone rings once and I hang up* “Hm. It seems to work for me. Can you show me what you did?”

Trainee: “Okay.”

(The trainee takes the handset from me and holds it to her ear. She then reaches up and… punches in my phone number ONTO THE COMPUTER KEYBOARD NUMBER PAD. I look at the screen and see on the input line that she has typed my phone number into the computer no less than SIX TIMES.)

Me: “Um, that’s not how you dial a phone.”

Trainee: “It’s not?”

Me: *mental facepalm* “Do you see how the handset is attached by a cord?”

Trainee: “Yes?”

Me: “What is it attached to?”

Trainee: “A phone?”

Me: “Yeeees. What’s on that phone?”

Trainee: “Buttons with numbers on them?”

Me: “Yeeees. Do you know what you do with those buttons with numbers on them?”

Trainee: “You push them?”

Me: “Yeeees.”

Trainee: “Oh! I understand!”

Me: *trying not claw my own face off and to remain polite and understanding* “Good. Now try again.”

(She got it right that time but was let go three weeks after starting because she was simply too incompetent to do the job. I tried telling her she wasn’t right for the job but she begged me for a chance and I gave it to her. When she was let go, I then got called in and fussed at for allowing a trainee I could see was CLEARLY incapable of doing the work, out onto the live dialing floor. I learned my lesson.)

Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 2

| USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, before I order, it’s going to be a while before these are eaten; is it possible to get the sauces in little containers on the side so the bread doesn’t get soggy?”

Cashier: “No problem!”

Me: “Great!” *orders two subs*

Cashier: “And is this for here or to go?”

Me: “…To go.”


Sub-Standard Sub-Service