Category: Coworkers


Gets Everything She Ever Wanted, Including ‘It’

| CA, USA | Coworkers, Family & Kids

(The owners of this pizza franchise have their daughter working as one of their managers. She is usually nice enough, but has the biggest issue with whining about how terrible her life is. One day, a coworker and I have had enough of her complaining.)

Boss’s Daughter: “Ugh! My dad is so terrible! I want to go to [Event], but no! They have me working that weekend! I can’t believe this!”

Me: “Yeah, your parents are the WORST. I mean, they only paid your entire way through college and you didn’t have to spend a cent.”

Coworker: “And they bought you the car you’re driving, and are paying for your insurance, too.”

Me: “AND they’re paying your rent for you.”

Coworker: “AND they’re paying you hourly wages to work here even though they themselves don’t get anything if the restaurant doesn’t make a profit.”

Boss’s Daughter: “Well, yeah, but my dad—”

Coworker: “My dad is in prison. I’ve never met him, and I don’t want to. I would love to have a father who is present in my life!”

Me: “My dad’s a dead-beat who never paid child support when my parents got divorced. He was more concerned with himself than his wife and kids. Your parents clearly are doing everything they can to make sure you live a comfortable life. I don’t think working on a weekend when they’re paying you wages on top of everything else is too much to ask!”

Boss’s Daughter: “Ugh. Just never mind! You don’t get it!”

Coworker: *after she’d gone* “I sure don’t.”


A Passable Reason For A Disconnect

| MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(I work for a major telecommunication company in their retention department. It is my job to retain a customer’s service and, when not possible, to set up their disconnects. A lot of our calls come in from other departments such as billing. This is one of those calls.)

Representative: “Hi, I have [Not The Account Holder] on the phone. It looks like she needs to disconnect because the account holder has decided to pass away.”

Me: “Um… transfer her through.”


It Don’t Matter If You’re Black Or White

| Australia | Coworkers, Funny Names, Musical Mayhem, Technology

(My coworker is using the printer, which is notorious for breaking.)

Me: “I like to call the printer Bob Marley, because it’s always jammin’.”

Coworker: “Well, right now it needs toner, so I guess that makes it Michael Jackson.”


Laughing About A Coughing Hiccup

| Vista, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

(I bring a water bottle to work every day. Since I have the hiccups, I pick up my bottle and take a drink. I immediately choke and have a coughing fit.)

Coworker #1: *not looking up from her computer* “Do you need some water?”

Me: *glances at half-full water bottle still in my hand and starts laughing in between wheezes*

Coworker #2: *also laughing* “She choked ON water.”

(Hey, at least my hiccups were cured!)


Man, You Bring Me Down

| KS, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words

(This conversation takes place over our headsets. I am answering phones, my coworker is at the cash register, and the manager is somewhere on the sales floor.)

Coworker: “I’ve got a customer up here who says there’s a man down.”

Manager: “[Coworker], where are you? Does someone need help?”

Coworker: “No, I don’t think anyone needs help. There’s just a man down, in the men’s department.”

Me: “[Coworker], is this a real person, or a mannequin?”

Coworker: “What’s a mannequin? There’s a man down in men’s.”

Me: “Are we talking about the men we display clothes on?”

Coworker: “Yes! There’s a man down in men’s!”

Manager: “So, this isn’t an emergency?”

Coworker: “No. There’s just a man down.”