Category: Coworkers

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The Homeless Is About To Make Him Jobless

| Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Coworkers

(Our office building has a shared conference room that is open to any of the businesses in the building to use. We usually hold morning meetings in there but today another company has reserved it. All of the employees of that company in the conference room happen to be either Indian or African-American and are all dressed in business casual. One of my coworkers arrives and goes to the conference room, notices it isn’t our employees in there, and comes to our office with a worried look on his face.)

Coworker: “Hey, man, did you notice there are a bunch of homeless people in the conference room?”

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The Silent War

| USA | Coworkers, Family & Kids

(My sister and I are across the aisle from each other, and my desk is located between hers and our supervisor’s at the end of the aisle. We had some serious down time one day. Note: We were not allowed to talk on the call floor.)

Sister: *bored, so catches my attention and mimes firing a bow and arrow at me*

Me: *ducks and mimes shooting one back*

Sister: *ducks and mimes firing a handgun*

Me: *ducks, mimes firing a shotgun*

Sister: *ducks, mimes firing a canon*

Me: *mimes firing a bazooka*

Sister: *frantic hand movement I cannot determine, maybe a machine gun?*

Me: *fire off another bazooka round*

Sister: *indeterminable hand gestures turns out to be her frantically trying to point behind me*

Me: *slowly turns around to see the supervisor staring at us from her desk, wearing the most priceless confused look EVER!*

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A Negligible Request

| USA | Coworkers, Math & Science, Technology

(I am a younger, female design engineer working for a helicopter manufacturing company, and it sometimes seems like my assessments aren’t taken seriously. An older senior project engineer storms in, in a tizzy, to get information on one of my projects after he has a meeting with someone higher up the corporate ladder.)

Project Engineer: “I need to know the weight of this part… this plastic mount for the wire ties!”

Me: “It’s negligible, and we are only using one in my kit.”

Project Engineer: “You don’t understand! [Higher-up] wants an EXACT weight, and I need it immediately so I can get this guy off my back!”

Me: “Ok, give me a couple of minutes to find it.”

Project Engineer: “Thanks, I’ll be back in a few.”

(He runs out the door. I finally find the info he wants after 10 minutes of searching.)

Project Engineer: “Did you find it?”

Me: “Yes. The weight is 40.37 grams per 100 of them.”

Project Engineer: “Ok, so how much is that in pounds?” *gets paper and pen to write it down*

Me: *after quick calculation* “Point zero eight nine per hundred. One of them weighs point zero zero zero eight nine pounds… or a little over fourteen one-hundredths of an ounce…”

Project Engineer: *starts writing and repeating to himself under his breath* “Point zero zero zero—” *stops short and looks up* “…hahaha!” *drops pen* “Okay, I’ll just tell him it’s negligible. Thanks!”