Category: Coworkers

icon_crazyrequests

Peppered With Accusation

| OH, USA | Coworkers, Crazy Requests

(I teach cooking classes as part of my job. I have a stash of ingredients and cooking supplies in one corner of my office and never use those for my own personal use. My coworker also teaches cooking classes and has her own supplies, but she often uses her ingredients in her personal lunches and snacks and leaves them scattered throughout the office.)

Coworker: “I need some pepper for these beans.”

Coworker: “I said, ‘I need some pepper for these beans.’”

Coworker: “Sure would be nice if there was some damn pepper in this place.”

Coworker: “Where’s my pepper? I had a whole f***ing container! Where’s my pepper?”

Coworker: “These beans are nasty. They need pepper. I can’t eat them now.”

(Her ranting took several minutes, at the end of which, my boss came into my office. I am engrossed in a project and am not looking at my boss during this conversation.)

Boss: “Have you used any pepper in your recipes lately?”

Me: “Nope.”

Boss: “Okay. Do you have any pepper in your supplies?”

Me: “Maybe. I’m pretty sure I was almost out the last time I needed some.”

Boss: “Okay. Um, do you mind if I check your supplies?”

Me: “Go for it.”

(My boss digs through my container of supplies and does not find any pepper. He thanks me and turns to walk out the door, when I look up to see that my coworker has suddenly appeared.)

Coworker: *to Boss* “DID YOU FIND MY PEPPER?! I KNOW SHE TOOK IT! SHE’S BEEN PLAYING DUMB THIS WHOLE TIME, BUT I KNOW SHE TOOK IT!”

(Apparently, my coworker was convinced that I stole her pepper almost two months ago, and rather than go out and spend a dollar to replace her spices, had been passive-aggressively suggesting that I was the thief. Unfortunately for her, I’m not great at picking up subtle hints, so she’d been whining for no reason! Also, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, as I hadn’t taken her supplies in the first place. We still have not found the pepper.)

icon_geography

Doesn’t Have 20 Vision

Denver, CO, USA | Coworkers, Geography

(I’m a ski patroller and overhear this conversation on the radio:)

Patroller #1: “Colin [Surname] to Evans.”

Patroller #2: “Go ahead.”

Patroller #1: “What’s your 20?”

Patroller #2: “I’m… um… f***! Where the h*** am I?”

icon_ignoring

Please Learn To Reader

, | IL, USA | Coworkers, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I work as a front lobby security officer/receptionist in an office building that has a set of badged double doors leading off the lobby. Employees are supposed to use the reader unless their hands are full. Guests are buzzed through. These rules are also printed on the doors in large print. This still happens, every day.)

Employee: *walks up to the door, empty-handed, then looks at me* “Hey, let me through!”

Me: “Badge the reader, please.”

Employee: “Why? Just let me through.”

Me: “It’s policy. Please badge the reader.”

Employee: *looks at the doors, then the reader, then me* “Will you let me in?”

Me: “Badge the reader.”

(This would repeat until the employee either got tired of it or – sometimes – I gave in. Every. single. day.)

icon_coworkers

You’re Streets Ahead Of Them

| USA | Coworkers

(I have a coworker who is a little on the ditzy side. We are working together in the stock room and chatting about New York City.)

Coworker: “I used to live in New York and it was great! I used to go to this place all the time called the 92nd Street Y. It was on 6th Avenue and um… like, uptown somewhere…. I forget.”

(I wait a few beats to see if she’ll figure it out.)

Me: “Was it on 6th Avenue and 92nd Street, maybe?”

Coworker: “Oh!” *looking sheepish* “…yeah.”

icon_lazy

The Gloves Are Off

| KY, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I’ve worked at a popular fast food restaurant for almost three years and I’ve seen a lot of employees come and go. During my first few months, I got to work with this gem of a coworker. The oven is beeping loudly.)

Coworker: *pulling pies out of the oven* “Ouch!”

Manager: “What just happened? Are you okay?”

Coworker: “Yeah, it’s just these gloves don’t work! I got burned pulling the pies.”

Manager: “Gloves? You mean the oven mitts?”

Coworker: “No! The ones on the platform over there!”

(She points to the kitchen platform where we stock latex-free plastic gloves for sanitation purposes while making food on the line.)

Manager: *face-palm*

(And on another occasion when she is taking cash for the drive-thru window…)

Coworker: *turns to shout to the front* “Can someone come and take over for me?”

Manager: “No, why?”

Coworker: “This is too fast for me!”

Me: *to another worker* “There’s a reason we call it fast food…”