Category: Employees

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What Bad Form!

| UK | Crazy Requests, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

(My wife, working in the community, had a “small business” contract with a major mobile phone provider. Her job changes to working in a residential unit, and so therefore no longer needs to use the facilities of the “small business” contract as her call volume drastically reduces. She contacts the provider, and the person she speaks to says: okay, not a problem; we can sort that out for you; consider that done. She has just logged onto her account to use some of the facilities that she enjoys, and is dismayed to find that these facilities have “not yet been enabled for a small business account.” So she rings them up.)

Wife: “I just tried to do [Function] but was told I could not do so because I have a small business account. But I specifically told your operative that I wanted to change to a personal account.”

Helpdesk: “Yes, well, you can’t just change the account type over the phone. You have to fill out a form.”

Wife: “Why was I not told this when I applied in the first place?”

Helpdesk: “That is not my concern. You have to download the form from our website, print it out, scan it back in, then email it back to us.”

Wife: “But I haven’t got a working printer. I never use a printer. Why would I want to fork out to get a new printer just to print your form out? Can’t you just send me a copy of this form by snail mail?”

Helpdesk: “We don’t do that any more. Everything is online now.”

Wife: “Well, can’t I just download the form, fill it in electronically, and then email it back?”

Helpdesk: “No, you have to print it out and scan it back in; you can’t do it any other way.”

Wife: “Since I can’t do that without getting a new printer, which I completely don’t want to do at the moment, I’m going to have to take my business elsewhere. You’ve just lost a loyal customer of years’ standing.”

(When she rang off, I told her she should have demanded to escalate the problem to a supervisor or a manager, because that sounded wrong to me. How can it not be possible for such a high-tech company not to have an online form that could be filled in online and processed completely automatically?)

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You’ve Been Through Thick And Thin Together

| KS, USA | Employees, Math & Science

(I find the label of the ham I want at the deli counter, but there is no actual meat on display behind it.)

Deli Worker: *standing behind the meat slicer* “Hello! Do you know what you want?”

Me: “I want this [Brand] Black Forest ham, but I don’t see it in the case. Are you out?”

Deli Worker: *she has not yet approached the counter* “Have you made up your mind?”

Me: “Yes. I want [Brand] Black Forest ham; do you have it in stock?”

Deli Worker: “I don’t know. Do you want some?”

Me: “Yes.”

Deli Worker: *steps to the counter, retrieves some ham from below the display area and takes it to the meat slicer* “Do you want it thin for sandwiches?”

Me: “On the thicker side, please.”

Deli Worker: “Thin?”

Me: “Thick.”

Deli Worker: *slices a very thick slice* “How’s this?”

Me: *not wanting to try and refine the size further, lest the conversation continue another five minutes* “It’s fine.”

Deli Worker: “How much would you like?”

Me: “One-third of a pound, please.”

Deli Worker: “Is that point-seven-five?”

Me: “No… It’s point-three-three.”

Deli Worker: “Ha ha. That’s right. I always have trouble with fractions.”

Me: “…”

Deli Worker: *cuts four slices and sets them on the scale, which reads 0.44. Then she goes and cuts two more slices*

Scale: “0.65”

Deli Worker: “How’s that? It’s a bit over.”

Me: “Um, yeah, can you take some off please?”

Deli Worker: *removes one slice, bringing it to 0.54* “How’s that?”

Me: “Still a bit much.”

Deli Worker: *removes another slice* “Are you sure? It’s under point-five.”

Me: “Yes, but I need point-three-three.”

Deli Worker: “Oh! That’s right!” *removes two more slices*

Scale: “0.33”

Me: “Perfect!”

Deli Worker: “Anything else?”

Me:No, thank you!”

Deli Worker: “Have a great day! There are free samples on the counter; help yourself!”

(The “free samples” consisted of four different deli bags with bar codes ripped off the labels, each containing a 0.5 to 0.75 pounds of meat or cheese. I think I know now what the deli does with the extra slices customers don’t want or need, and I have a clue as to why there were so many that day…)

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Only Came In For Some Salon-tro

| AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body

(I’m at a large grocery store that has a salon attached. I’m two aisles down from the salon and almost at the back of the store when a woman in the salon’s uniform comes up to me.)

Woman: “Want to come over to the [Salon]?”

Me: “No, thank you. I’m just grabbing a few groceries.”

Woman: “But you REALLY need to come to the salon. Your eyebrows are uneven and they look horrible!”

(Strangely enough, desperately hunting down customers and trying to shame them into getting their eyebrows done was a tactic that didn’t with on me.)

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Checkout Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Technology

(I’m at the self-checkout at my usual grocery store. Due to a headache, I’m not feeling especially up for human interaction. The employee at the attendant station, a young man who might still be in high school, darts over and fusses over the plastic bags on the checkout machine.)

Employee: “I’ll just get these open for ya!”

(I’m a little annoyed, since I’ve got my own bags hanging off my arm, but he seems so enthusiastic. I hit the proper button on the screen, and have my first bag open on the bagging racks when the young man is suddenly standing on my other side, hitting the “done” button, and scuttling back to his station. I stare at him.)

Employee: “Oh, sorry!”

(He presses buttons on his screen as I try and tell my machine that I’ve got another bag.)

Checkout: “Place your bags on th– Please remove the la– Place your bags—”

(Thankfully, he left me alone after that!)

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About To Get Biblical Over This

| OH, USA | Employees, Language & Words

(I worked in an office building where you have to show your photo ID badge to a security guard to get in. If badges are misplaced, as happens often, people will turn them in at the security desk for the owner to claim. One day my badge falls out of my pocket. At the end of my shift I go to security to retrieve it.)

Me: “Hi. I want to see if anyone turned in my badge. My name is Rebekah [Last Name].”

Security Guard: “Nope. Nothing with that name has been turned in.”

Me: *happening to glance down at stack of turned in badges* “Excuse me, but that’s my badge right there.”

Security Guard: *picks up badge and looks at it* “You said your name was Rebekah. That’s not what that name says!”

Me: *taken back* “I can assure you that’s my name. My parents just spelled it the original, Biblical way instead of the Americanized version, but it’s pronounced the same.”

Security Guard: “That does NOT say Rebekah!”

Me: “It even has my picture on it! That’s been my name my entire life. I’m pretty sure how it’s pronounced!”

Security Guard: *glares at me*

Me: “Look!” *I hand him another form of ID* “See? That is my name and that is the way it is spelled. Now may I please have my badge back?”

(The guard suspiciously hands me my badge back. As I’m walking away he calls after me.)

Security Guard: “But that doesn’t say Rebekah!”

(It should be noted that when I received my first paycheck from this company they made it out to “Rebecca” and I had to make them reissue it when my bank refused to cash it.)