Category: Employees

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The Purr-fect Diet

| ON, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

Cashier: *rings me through* “We’re actually having a giveaway today on a new human-grade cat food!” *turns around to load me up with some cans*

Me: “Are those paté?”

Cashier: *turns around with a can in her hand* “No.”

Me: “Then I can’t take them.”

Cashier: *visibly upset for no reason* “What?! Why?!”

Me: “None of my cats would eat it.”

Cashier: “What are you talking about?” *goes into sales pitch about how it uses ingredients so even humans can eat it*

Me: “I still can’t take it.”

Cashier: “Well why not!”

Me: “Because I have one cat that’s on a strict hypoallergenic diet, one cat that just licks all the liquid from the wet food and leaves the rest, one cat that refuses to eat anything that isn’t duck flavored, and one cat that had to have her teeth removed so she can only have paté cat food.”

Cashier: *stares and blinks a little bit* “Oh. Well, this cat food uses ingredients that humans can eat. If we opened up this can we could both eat it.”

Me: *very uninterested* “Cool…”

Cashier: *triumphantly* “Well, your cats don’t know what they’re missing!”

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How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 11

| UK | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Language & Words

(The phone rings. I answer.)

Telemarketer: “Can I speak to the homeowner, please?”

Me: “I’m not gay.”

Telemarketer: “No, I said ‘homeowner.'”

Me: “And I said I’m not gay.”

(The telemarketer on the other end had such fits of laughter she hung up on me.)

Related:
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 10
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 9
How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 8

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A Rare Form Of Bad Service

| Chicago, IL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am at a rather nice restaurant for dinner with my mom and dad. The service and atmosphere have been excellent and our waitress has been quite friendly while we order drinks and an appetizer. When it comes time to give her our entrée orders, however, the following occurs.)

Me: “Could I have the salmon dish? And could you please request that the salmon be cooked very well-done?”

Waitress: “What? Why would you want it so over-cooked?”

Me: “I know it’s odd. I just really like my seafood well-done.” *laughs* “It just is my personal preference.”

Waitress: “Well, do you eat sushi?”

Me: *confused* “Yes, occasionally. But this is an entire salmon fillet on top of hot vegetables and rice, not the same as sushi at all.”

Waitress: “This is a brilliant cut of fish. Cooking it well-done would ruin the flavor.”

(Please note my family and I are polite and avoid confrontation, but are now extremely uncomfortable.)

Me: “I’ll enjoy it more if it’s not medium-rare, I promise.”

Waitress: “Are you sure? How can you really know?”

(Suddenly, a man at the table of two next to us turns and starts speaking.)

Other Customer: “Look, the young lady has said she wants her food cooked a current way. She’s been polite and wants her food the way she likes to eat it. By the way, when you have a burger, do you eat it rare?”

Waitress: “Ew! No way! That’s disgusting!”

Other Customer: “That’s how she feels about medium-rare salmon!”

Waitress: *shuts up and walks away*

(My family ended up paying his tab.)

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The Other Taxi Is Streets Ahead

| Portland, OR, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Transportation

(I live in a corner house so I can see the next few streets over. I call for a cab to get me to work because my bike has a flat tire that I don’t have time to fix.)

Taxi Dispatch: “Your taxi will be there in about five minutes.”

(Fifteen minutes later, it hasn’t arrived so I call back and sit on hold for five minutes when I receive a phone call.)

Taxi Driver #1: “Hey, I’m in front of your house”

Me: “No, you’re not. I’m standing on the porch.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Yes, I’m in front of your house. It’s [my address].”

Me: “Yes, that’s my address, but you’re not here. I’m standing right here and your cabs are bright orange, kinda hard to miss.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Yes, I’m in front of your house.”

Me: “Are you sure you didn’t pull into [next street over]? I just saw an orange car turn onto that road.”

Taxi Driver #1: “No, I’m on [my street], in front of your house.”

Me: “I don’t know how I can say this any other way, you’re not in front of my house. I would know.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Yes, I am on [my street].”

(This goes on for far too long and I would have just hung up but I am in a hurry. Luckily another cab from a different company drives by and I flag it down.)

Me: *to new cab* “Are you free?”

Taxi Driver #2: “Yeah, hop in. Where are we going?”

Me: *on phone* “Cancel that ride, I just found another cab.”

Taxi Driver #1: “Oh, you’re right. I am on [next street over].”

(He then drove the wrong way on a one way street to come over to my street, but I was already in the second cab and the driver was programming his GPS.)

Taxi Driver #1: *stops his car in the middle of the street and glares at me and the other driver until we leave*

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Unfair With The Hair

| SK, Canada | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I get a groupon for a hair salon I’d never been to before as a gift.)

Me: “I’m growing out my hair, so I just want to clean up the ends. I know they’re ratty right now. My bangs are too long, which is why they’re pushed to the side, but usually they’re straight across.”

Stylist: “Oh, okay! Well, let’s get to work on that.”

(We make small talk for a few minutes.)

Stylist: “So, why’s your hair so damaged?”

Me: “Oh, well, it’s just a little frail because I permed it a year or so ago. But I’ve been trying—”

Stylist: *sees that another customer (for a different stylist) has come in, and interrupts me* “Oh! Hi! How are you?”

(She then proceeded ignore me and talk to the other stylist’s customer for the duration of my hair cut, which I wouldn’t have been quite so put off by if she hadn’t interrupted me. And then she got to my bangs.)

Me: *as she starts brushing them to the side to cut* “Oh, no, I actually don’t want them like that. I wear them straight across. I just had them to the side because they’re in my eyes right now.”

Stylist: “Mhmm, okay.” *goes back to talking to the other lady, continuing to push my hair to the side*

(I try again to tell her how I want them styled, and she ignores me again. Finally I push her hand out of the way and quickly pull them the way I want them.)

Stylist: “Oh! You want them straight across. But you had them pushed to the side!”

(And the hair drying…)

Stylist: “Yeah, your hair is really damaged. You need to buy some deep conditioning treatments. I’ll show you the one you need to buy when we’re done. And be very gentle when you style it.”

(Incidentally, as she was saying this, she was apparently oblivious to the fact that I was full out grimacing in pain because she was RIPPING through my hair with the brush – I could actually feel her breaking my hair that I needed to “treat gently”… Guess who didn’t get a tip?)