Category: Employees

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Defeated The Bonus Boss

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I’m in the midst of fighting the final boss in a video game notorious amongst its fandom for potentially being the most difficult in its franchise. It’s taken me 13 years to get to this point since I tried again and gave up several times over the years since its release. I have currently spent several hours on the fight. I am a flaming ball of anger and hate-fire by the time my phone starts to ring, distracting me and getting me killed once again. It turns out to be a scammer that has been harassing me for over a month that I normally ignore.)

Me: “Who is this?”

Scammer: “This is [Fictional Electric Company], looking for [Person Who Isn’t Me] about their electric bill…”

Me: *screaming into the phone* “Are you [expletive] serious?! [Person Who Isn’t Me] hasn’t owned this number for several years and yet you people keep harassing me! You woke me this morning, you woke my baby yesterday afternoon, and you’ve disturbed me when I was in the middle of something now! Never call me again or I’ll trace your number, find out where you live, and ship you a box of Brazilian wandering spiders!”

(I slam the phone down and go back to my game when I notice both my sisters staring at me in fear.)

Sister: “Would you seriously ship a box of spiders to a telemarketer?”

Me: “If he calls me again in the middle of this fight? I’ll send him bark scorpions, too!”

(Thankfully they never called me again. I quickly beat the game soon after that call too. It turns out that screaming at people who have been harassing me is oddly therapeutic.)

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HDM-Lie

| England, UK | Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology

(I managed to order the wrong length of HDMI cable online. With delivery dates long, and no TV, I visit the local large chain computer store.)

Me: “Excuse me, where are the HDMI cables?”

Worker #1: “Oh, I think they are over there somewhere.” *gestures vaguely*

Me: “Oh, okay, thanks.”

(I eventually find the display, completely in the wrong direction, and pick out some items.)

Worker #1: “Oh, good you found them.” *looking at the items I’ve picked* “Oh, you don’t want those ones.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Worker #1: “That cable is far too long. The picture will be very poor quality. Here, this is the one you want.”

(He picks up the most expensive cable a meter shorter than I needed.)

Me: “Oh, err, no thanks. I need one at least four meters long. These will do fine.”

Worker #1: “No, no, no, just move the TV closer. You really need a better quality cable.”

(Worker #1 pushes the cable into my hands and tries to snatch the cheaper ones from me.)

Me: *recoiling in surprise* “I can’t move the TV closer, and I assure you these will be fine.”

Worker #1: “Look, I know what I’m talking about. You need these ones. Long cables will lose the picture.” *a lie*

Me: *exhausted* “So these cheaper ones won’t work?”

Worker #1: “No. You need the better ones.”

Me: “So why do you sell them?”

Worker #1: “I er, well these are just far better. Listen I know what I’m talking about. Hey, [Worker #2], come here a second. Can you PLEASE explain why he wants these ones and not the cheap ones.”

Worker #2: “Well, these cables will give you a much better picture. The cheaper ones won’t give you 1080p.” *another lie*

Me: “I’ve had enough. These will be fine. This is the end of the discussion. I’m paying and leaving.”

(I eventually get past the two workers. They still call out to me as I get to the till.)

Cashier: “Oh, are you sure you want these? We have an offer on [Expensive Brand] cables this week.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Cashier: “Are you sure? These ones will break much faster than the better ones.” *lies again*

Me: “Ring me up.”

Cashier: “I was just trying to—”

Me: “Ring me up now; if I hear one more lie from you or your colleagues I will register a complaint.”

Cashier: “Fine.” *throws the cable at me*

(Safe to say, I never shopped there again.)

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Has Only 500 Millibrains

| Laval, QC, Quebec | Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I go look for an electric adaptor I need for an item I ordered from abroad. Upon my arrival, the girl working the floor asks me if I need help.)

Me: “Yes, thank you. I need a 5 amps adaptor, please.”

(She kindly shows me place where all the adaptors are and hands me a package.)

Employee: “This is what you need.”

(I look at the packaging, and it reads “500 mA.”)

Me: “Huh, miss, this is not 5 amps; it’s 500 milliamps.”

(Never mind the fact that I am a mechanical engineer and I am well versed in the use of prefixes, but I chose not to rub my education in her face today.)

Employee: “Sure it is; mA is a fraction of an A, and 500 mA is 5 A. It’s like in the kitchen. 500 milliliters is a full liter.”

Me: *after a few seconds speechless* “Sorry; I’ll go somewhere else…”