Category: Food & Drink

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Will Say It Vegan And Again

| Santa Fe, NM, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(This restaurant is known for having vegan options of traditional Santa Fe foods. I am not vegan.)

Me: “Hi, could I get the chicken tortilla soup without the cheese or sour cream on top?”

Worker: “Vegan?”

Me: “No, I want the chicken, just not the sour cream or cheese. I don’t really like them.”

Worker: “So, vegan?”

Me: “No, I want the chicken. Just the regular soup, please, without the topping.”

Worker: “…Vegan?”

Me: “Just regular chicken soup. Chicken chicken. Please.”

(I got home, opened the soup, and began eating… only to realize the chunks of chicken were actually tofu!)

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Has Already Decidered

| Powell River, BC, Canada | Coworkers, Food & Drink

(Our local food security group is pressing apples at the Fall Fair, which we have done for several years. I like to help, because it’s a lot of fun, but I never drink apple juice or cider. To me, it smells exactly like horse pee. My friends know this, but sometimes they forget. We have just finished mulling a fresh batch of cider.)

Coworker: *trying to hand me a cup* “Hey, [My Name], try this. This batch is really good.”

Me: “Mmmm! Warm horse urine! Even better!”

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Repeatedly Making A Meal Out Of It

| NS, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(Around noon during a day out, my mother and I stop at a fast food place on one half of the building; the other half is a popular Canadian coffee shop. My mother doesn’t want anything to eat, so she goes to get coffee for herself and me while I buy myself a burger. While she is getting the drinks, I go up to the counter to make my order.)

Me: “I’ll have a [Burger] and fries, please.”

Cashier: “And what would you like to drink?”

Me: “Nothing. Just the burger and fries, please.”

Cashier: “But the meal comes with a drink!”

Me: “I don’t want a drink, though. Just the burger and fries.”

Cashier: “But you need to drink something!”

Me: “My mother is getting drinks from [Coffee Shop] right now. I don’t need two drinks.”

(She doesn’t really argue too much after that, and rings me up. My mother has gotten the coffee drinks by the time my food is ready, and when I go to get my order I am holding the drink in my hand.)

Me: “This is my food, right? Thank you. Have a nice day!”

Cashier: “Your drink hasn’t been made yet. What was it you wanted, again?”

Me: “I don’t need a drink. I have a drink right here.”

(I show her my coffee cup, and then take my food and go to sit down at a table. As I walk away, I hear the cashier calling after me…)

Cashier: “THE MEAL COMES WITH A DRINK!”