Category: Food & Drink


It’s Too Early For… Anything

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am heading to work on a cold winter morning at 5:30 am, and figure I have time to stop for some breakfast and a coffee. I pull right up to the drive-thru speaker but have to politely yell into the box to get somebody to answer and take my order. I enunciate clearly and give them my order. Upon pulling up to the window a female worker comes over looking to be on the verge of a mental break down and reads back my order.)

Female Worker: “You had the [Breakfast Sandwich] and a medium double-double coffee, yes?”

Me: “No, sorry, the double-double should just be two cream and one sugar.”

Female Worker: “Ok, your total is [total].”.

(She hands out the debit machine and walks away while I finish the transaction, but does not return for quite some time. The automatic drive-thru window has shut and I am left holding their debit machine out the car window in -30 C (-22 F) weather. Finally, she comes back and takes the machine.)

Female Worker: “Did you have an extra-large triple-triple sir?”

Me: “No, it was a medium two cream and one sugar.”

(She nods and walks away. After more waiting and me being the only one in the drive-thru lane the girl comes back with the deer-in-headlights look on her face.)

Female Worker: “Here is your food, sir. Have a nice day.”

Me: “Wait, I need my drink!”

Female Worker: “Medium double-double?”

Me: “No, it is medium two cream and one sugar.”

(After even more waiting, a male worker with the look of hating his very existence on this earth, approaches the window.)

Male Worker: “Here is your medium double-double, sir. Have a nice day.”

Me: *speechless* “Thanks! You, too!”


Doesn’t Know Wheat You Mean, Part 3

| Salt Lake City, Utah, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

(My friend has a very severe case of Celiac disease and cannot eat any gluten without getting incredibly ill. She’s very cautious about what she eats and always makes sure to request gluten free when ordering food, either for delivery or in a restaurant. It’s Saturday night and we’re having game night at her house. My husband and her husband decide they really want pizza, so we call one of the few local pizza places that guarantee a gluten-free crust with no cross-contamination. When the pizzas arrive, we all start to dig in, until friend realizes something is very wrong.)

Friend: “Ugh! This isn’t gluten free! This is thin crust!”

Me: “Are you sure? Maybe the gluten free is a thin crust.”

Friend’s Husband: “Here, let me taste it.” *he takes a bite* “Nope, definitely not gluten free, and there’s flour all over the bottom of it.”

Friend: “Grrr! Give me the phone, this is bull****!” *dials the restaurant* “Yes, I just had a pizza delivery to my house, and I specifically ordered a small gluten free with bacon and mushrooms, and I can guarantee this is not gluten free.”


Friend: “Yes, I would love to speak to your manager.”


Friend: “Hi, yes, I just ordered from your store and specifically ordered a small gluten free pizza with bacon and mushrooms, and not only is this not your gluten free crust, but it’s covered in flour.”


Friend: “No, I can’t just ‘eat the pizza;’ I have Celiac disease. Do you know what that is?”


Friend: “No, it’s not a fad diet. It means if I eat gluten I end up throwing up and having diarrhea for days.”


Friend: “What I want you to do about it is remake the pizza correctly and have it delivered.”



“Yeah, I’m sure you are busy, given that it’s Saturday night, but if you guys had done it correctly the first time this wouldn’t be an issue.”






Friend:“Okay, let me explain what I would like from you. I do not want a voucher. I do not want a refund. I just want to be able to eat tonight. I don’t care if it’s going to take 45 minutes to get another pizza to me. Please just remake the pizza, how I ordered it, and have it delivered as soon as possible.”


Friend:“Okay, great.

Me: “Wow, so, how’d it go?”

Friend: *gives me the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen*

(When her replacement pizza arrived the delivery guy knocked and then left it on the porch before we could grab the door. It was gluten free – but bacon and peppers instead of bacon and mushrooms. She ate it anyway and hasn’t ordered from there since.)

Doesn’t Know Wheat You Mean, Part 2
Doesn’t Know Wheat You Mean


A Hot Slice Of Not Nice

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

(I am in a meeting with my boss when the phone rings. Note, we are a group of FIELD TECHNICIANS. He gets this annoyed look on his face and picks it up.)

Boss: “[Boss], office.”

(Listens for a bit, and then grabs a clipboard.)

Boss: “Sure, we can do that. What size? Okay, what toppings? Yeah, yeah, let me read that back. Three large pizzas. two pepperoni, one sausage. Okay, those will be ready for pick up in 30 minutes.”

(He hangs up, balls the paper up, and tosses it in the trash. At this point, I’m looking at him really confused.)

Boss: “I get a call like that about every other day. I got tired of trying to explain that this isn’t the pizza shop. They’ll figure it out in about 30 minutes when they go to pick up their pizzas.”


Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 6

, | FL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(This happened every time I went to a sub place when I was younger. The menu clearly displays the ingredients for the items, both with a picture and with the names of the ingredients.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like to get Italian sub, please. Everything that normally comes on it, except for onions, please.”

Employee: “Okay, sure.” *begins making sub*

Employee: “What kind of meat?”

Me: “Whatever normally comes on it.”

Employee: “I know, but what kind?”

Me: *annoyed that they don’t know, I look up at the menu* “Pepperoni and salami, it seems.”

Employee: “And what kind of cheese?”

Me: “What it says on the menu. Just like that without onions.”

Employee: “Can’t you just tell me what kind you want? So I know I’ll get it right.”

Me: *knowing they aren’t going to be any help, I read them the rest of the ingredients from the menu* “Mozzarella. And after that, lettuce, black olives, and tomato.”

Employee: “Okay, and what vegetables do you want on it?”

Me: *face-palm*

Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 5
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 4
Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 3


I Can’t Believe You’re Not Telling People It’s Not Butter

| MN, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(We had recently switched to using a weird shelf stable ‘butter’ to use with our bread. It tastes and has a texture similar to butter flavored popcorn oil. None of the employees like it and we all feel embarrassed by the constant complaints we’ve been getting about it. The wait staff seems especially unsure of what to say when asked what it is, since management doesn’t want us to tell people it’s not butter, as though no one will be able to tell the difference. I’m a cook, but we’re very slow so I’m standing in the dining room watching the television. The waitress is a few tables over, taking an order.)

Customer: “Do you use real butter on your bread?”

Waitress: *clearly unsure of what to say* “Um… [My Name], do we use real butter?”

Me: *laughs and walks back into kitchen*

Waitress: *looks embarrassed*

Customer: *making a face* “I’ll have my bread dry, then.”

(The waitress comes into the kitchen to give me the order.)

Waitress: I can’t believe you did that!”

Me: “You know it’s not butter.”

Waitress: “But you didn’t have to laugh!”

Me: “And you didn’t have to ask me a dumb question!”