Category: Food & Drink


Tequila Myself Slowly

| NY, USA | Food & Drink

Bartender: “What can I get you?”

Me: “A slow and painful death.”

Bartender: “…”

Me: “…”

Bartender: “…”

Me: “…”

Bartender: “Tequila shots coming right up!”


And Don’t Even Get Me Started On What They Did To The Fava Beans

| BC, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(My mother and I are in one of the dozen liquor stores that serves our small town looking for a specific type of red wine. We can’t seem to find it so we ask a staff member who is stocking shelves.)

Me: “Excuse me; do you know where your Chianti is?”

Staff: “What?”

Me: “Chianti.”

Mom: “It’s red wine.”

(The staff member goes to the tills and asks for help. She returns and leads us to the right section.)

Staff: “It’s actually ‘chee-auntie.'”

(I grimace at my mother.)

Mom: “No, it’s actually Chianti.” *key-anty*

Staff: “The girls corrected me…”

Mom: “It’s Chianti.”

(I find the bottle we want and the staff member wanders off. I turn to Mom.)

Me: “They really need to watch Silence of the Lambs.”


Should Have Just Driven Straight Thru

| OH, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Technology

(We have never figured out how our simple drive-thru order was so misunderstood.)

Order: “One small hot fudge sundae.”

Cashier: Okay, that’s six hamburgers with marshmallows.