Category: Food & Drink

He’s A Different Kind Of Nut(s)

| Huddersfield, England, UK | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Popular, Trending

Coworker: “Huh, this tea tastes like almonds…”

Me: *jokingly* “Maybe it’s poisoned.”

(They give me a questioning look.)

Coworker: “What? Why would it be poisoned?”

Me: “You know, almonds. Cyanide tastes like almonds.”

(Everyone around me has turned to give me funny looks now.)

Coworker #2: “[My Name], how do you know that?”

Me: “Uh… I don’t actually know…”

Coworker #2: “Right, nobody accept anything almond flavoured from [My Name], just in case he goes crazy and tries to kill us all.”

Me: “Hey, I’m not going to go crazy and poison you all! If I went on a killing spree, I’d definitely use a homemade bomb.”

Coworker: “How do you know how to build a bomb?!”

Me: “I did chemistry at uni.”

Coworker #2: “Okay, yeah, that one’s fair enough.” *everyone turns back to their work*

Needing Ice But Moving Like A Glacier

| Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

(I work at a sandwich take-out at our national airport. To cool the toppings for our sandwiches and the fresh juices we sell, we have two large ice boxes – we call them ‘juice bar’ and ‘sandwich bar’ –  which we have to refill with ice chips every 5-6 hours. Because the restaurant itself doesn’t have an ice machine, we get our ice from another restaurant. However, they require us to call ahead, to check if they still have enough ice for the both of us. This happened during my last shift.)

Shift Leader: “[My Name], could you call [Restaurant] to ask if they have ice for us? I want to refill both the juice and sandwich bars before [Colleague] goes on his break.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I call, but there is no answer. I decide to wait for a few minutes and try again, to no avail.)

Me: “[Shift Leader], they won’t pick up. I tried twice. Want me to wait and call again?”

Shift Leader: “I’ll call their manager, maybe they’re too busy to pick up.” *calls* “No answer. Go ahead, we really need that ice.”

(I take the large cart we use to get ice to the restaurant and fill it all up. Just as I get back to my own workplace, Shift Leader’s phone rings.)

Shift Leader: “Hello? Yeah, okay, thanks.” *hangs up* “That was [Restaurant], calling to tell us that we are allowed to get some ice.”

Medium Dum Dum

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

(I order a small combo for myself at a fast food restaurant. My girlfriend only wants fries and a drink, so I ask for a medium of both. When the cashier puts the empty cups out, I realize that a “medium” is 32 ounces.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how big a medium soda would be. Can I get a small instead?”

Cashier: *taps the small cup* “That one goes with the combo.”

Me: “I know. But can I have this one -” *taps the medium cup* “- as a small?”

Cashier: “That’s a medium.”

Me: “Right … I ordered a medium but would like a small instead.”

Cashier: “The small goes with the combo.”

Me: “Yes. I want to keep the small soda, to go with the combo. But instead of the medium drink, I would like a second small drink.”

Cashier: *slowly puts a second small cup on the counter and adds it to the order without removing the medium*

Me: “…Close enough.”

(I pay for the meal and then hand the medium cup to the man waiting in line behind me.)

Me: “Would you like a free drink?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Cashier: “That’s the medium!”

Shred Away The Romance

| Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Love/Romance

(A friend and I are shopping for dinner when we ask an employee for help.)

Me: “Excuse me, where is the shredded parmesan cheese?”

Employee: “Right this way. If the two of you are planning a romantic wine and cheese night may I suggest a bottle of wine?”

Me: “Um, no, thanks.”

Friend: “I think he thought we were a couple.”

Me: “I’m more concerned he thought our wine and cheese night would be centered on shredded parmesan.”

Verily Learn About Celery

| Aurora, CO, USA | Food & Drink, New Hires

(We had gotten a new cashier a few days prior, and she was still learning the ropes. Particularly the PLU codes for produce.)

New Hire: *holds up a celery* “Hey, [My Name], what’s this?”

Me: *looks over from my transaction with a customer* “4070.”

New Hire: “Okay but… What is it?”

Me: *stops and looks at her for a second* “…You don’t know what that is?”

New Hire: “No. Seriously, what is it? I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life.”

Me: *slowly* “That’s celery.”

New Hire: “Really? Huh… So that’s what celery looks like…”

(I’m still amazed how you can go 17 years of your life and never encounter celery before!)