Category: Geeks Rule


Orders Pizza Every Week, Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel

| Fargo, ND, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Geeks Rule

(I order a pizza. The gentleman who delivers it shows up at my door in a suit and tie, strangely enough. It gets weirder. While I write his tip on the receipt, he asks:)

Delivery Guy: “While I’m here, mind if I tell a joke?”

Me: “As long as it’s a good one!”

Delivery Guy: “Okay, here goes. Who’s a better detective, Batman or Sherlock Holmes?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Delivery Guy: “Batman, because Sherlock Holmes is fictional.”

(I sputtered my perplexity briefly before thanking him and going back into my apartment. Did Bruce Wayne deliver me a pizza or is there something I’m missing?)


Throw Your Request Into Oblivion

| Montréal, Canada | Bad Behavior, Employees, Geeks Rule, Money

(It is a few days after the video game collector’s edition of “Elder Scrolls: Oblivion” has released, which came with a metallic replica of the in-game currency the player uses. For fun and added authenticity, I want to get it gold-plated.)

Me: “Hey there, do you happen to offer goldsmithing services?”

Clerk: “Yes! What would you like to get done? We can do gold plating of various fineness for a wide variety of items!”

Me: “Awesome! What would it cost to do a 24-carat plating on this?” *shows her the coin*

Clerk: *frowns in disapproval* “I’m sorry, but we can’t do that. Defacing currency is actually a crime.”

Me: *stunned for a moment* Oh, no worries, this isn’t a real coin. It’s a replica of an Imperial septim from a video game!”

Clerk: *look at me angrily* “That’s even worse! We are NOT going to help you make fake currency! That’s criminal! Get out of here right now before I call the police!”

Me: *shocked in surprise* “But you don’t get it. It’s a fictional coin. It’s from a country that doesn’t exist! It’s from a videogame!”

Clerk: *not listening* “GET. OUT!”

(I left the place dejected and went to another jewelry store where service was much better. The clerk there asked why I looked so worried when asking him for plating and laughed a good deal when I told him the other clerk’s reaction. They gave my coin a flawless job and it looks gorgeous.)


It’s Going To Be A Long(bottom) Day

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Geeks Rule, Health & Body

(I am a very, very, VERY shy, easy to be embarrassed, but mature thirteen-year-old girl going to physical therapy for a pectoral strain. I have been going for a few months, and every month, they place me with a tiny, sweet, Russian woman PTA. I am really only comfortable with her, as the place of the injury is very near my left breast. It even says this on my chart. Along with this, I am extremely literal at times and I don’t follow directions well. One day, they put me with a man, much to my extreme discomfort.)

Man PTA: *gives hard to follow instructions*

Me: “Like this?” *does exercise wrong*

Man PTA: *rolls his eyes* “No. Like this.” *shows me then rolls his eyes again*

Me: “I apologize, but you did not make clear what you wanted me to do.”

(The PTA doesn’t respond, so I assume he thinks I’m stupid. Note: this is a common misconception of mine, thinking that someone is mad at me, thinks I’m stupid, doesn’t like me, etc. Then, this happens.)

Man PTA: “You’re very intelligent, aren’t you?”

Me: *caught off guard* “Uhm, well, I like to think so…”

Man PTA: “So you get good grades?”

Me: “Yes. I don’t often get under a low A.”

Man PTA: “Oh, you can do anything with those grades! Can’t she?”

(Another PTA walks up, the one that I was comfortable with.)

Woman PTA: “Yup.” *walks away*

Man PTA: “Are you in high school?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man PTA: *overly obnoxious* “Oh, yeah! Those are the best days of your life coming up! I don’t think I even went to most of my classes!”

(I am in no means a slacker. I absolutely love to learn.)

Me: “Oh.”

Man PTA: “Are bullies still a thing?”

Me: “Well, I wouldn’t know really, as I’m homeschooled.”

Man PTA: “Well, that’s a little biased then, isn’t it?”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Man PTA: “Well, your mom is your teacher, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man PTA: “Then doesn’t she just give you good grades, no matter if you do badly or not?”

Me: “Well, no. That’s not how it works. My grades are computer generated. And regardless, my mom’s not there to pity me. If I get bad grades, it’s my own fault.”

(He shrugs like he hasn’t just insulted me.)

Man PTA: “What do you like to do then?”

Me: “I enjoy writing.”

Man PTA: “Cool, what kind?”

Me: “Fantasy, mostly.”

Man PTA: “Oh, cool. Wait, have you read Harry Potter?”

Me: “Yes.”

(I am a huge Harry Potter fan.)

Man PTA: “Can you, like, write a story about that? Like, the Nevilles. What happened to them? Like, why are they crazy?”

Me: “Uhm, the Longbottoms were tortured to insanity by Death Eaters.”

Man PTA: “Whatever.” *walks away*


A Flying Charm-ing Employee

| USA | Geeks Rule

(I am the customer in this story. I am looking to buy a broom. It should also be noticed that I am a Harry Potter fan.)

Me: “Hi, could you please show me where the brooms are?”

Employee: “Sure! We have some here.”

(He leads me to a section with tons of brooms.)

Me: “Wow, there sure are a lot of options!”

Employee: “That’s right! If you want my advice, take this one. It’s like a Nimbus 2001, and the others are like Nimbus 2000s.”

(I laugh.)

Me: “Do you have any Firebolts?”

Employee: “We do have an excellent broom over here.” *leads me to another section that is empty* “Uh-oh, I think someone left their invisibility cloak over the brooms.”

Me: “That’s fine; I’ll take the Nimbus 2001.”

Employee: “Excellent choice. Happy flying!”


Almost The Droids You Are Looking For

| Vista, CA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(In my office, we often abbreviate our names with our initials and then the number 3, i.e. DK3. My supervisor is writing something down, then whites out her initials, which are CS.)

Me: “Oh, you’re not [Supervisor] today?”

Supervisor: “Nope.”

Me: “Who are you, then?”

Supervisor: “CS3-PO.”

(We laugh.)

Me: “You know, if [Coworker whose initials are RD] cloned himself, he’d be R2-D2…”

(It’s nice to have fellow geeks in the office.)

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