Category: Holidays

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Time To Vacate The Premises

| Hillsboro, OR, USA | Coworkers, Holidays

(We are having a meeting regarding a project that will require a lot of emails to be sent to internal customers. We are just finalizing the details of the email. The schedule was already worked out and is just being confirmed. I should point out all of us in the room are friends.)

Project Manager: “So is there anything, ANYTHING, that will get in the way of us pushing the send button on this email on Monday?”

Product Owner: “No, nothing at all. Except I’m on vacation next week. Didn’t I tell you that?”

Me: “HAHAHAHAHA!!!!”

(The project manager’s head exploded right then.)

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Take A Costume And Make It All Mime

TN, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Holidays

(My mom works at a fabric store and she is allowed to dress up as anything for Halloween. In looking for an excuse to not talk to customers, she dresses up as a zombie that has a slit throat. She goes around the store just… staring with a serine look. After Halloween one of the managers speaks to her.)

Manager: “[Mom], you creeped out a lot of our customers yesterday. Even the teenage boys were creeped out by you. From now on, everyone is going to need to check in on what they’re going to dress up as.”

(The following year, she dresses up as a mime. She walk up to a customer looking at fabric and my mom starts pulling different ones out for her.)

Customer: “No, no, no. It needs to hit me.”

Mom: *prepares to hit her with the fabric*

Customer: *laughing* “No. Not like that.”

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Too Closed To Call

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Coworkers, Holidays

(Since it’s Easter Sunday, our store is closing early, in just a few minutes. I love making the closing announcements.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], can you do the closing announcement for me?”

Me: “Sure.” *over the store pager* “Attention shoppers: the store is now closed. Please bring your purchases up to the cashiers at the front. Thank you and have a great day.”

Coworker: “Wait, I meant to say that we are closing, not that we are closed.”

Me: “Closed. Closing. Close enough.”

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Could Think Of Nun Better

| Lexington, KY, USA | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Holidays, Popular

(Our manager is pregnant and Halloween is fast approaching.)

Manager: “What really sucks is that I love to dress up for Halloween, but this year, since I’m pregnant, I can’t do anything.”

Me: “Are you kidding? I can think of something perfect; a nun!”

(It seems that never crossed her mind. She practically lit up when I said it.)

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Deity Of The Dead

| Denver, CO, USA | Coworkers, Holidays, Religion

(It’s about a week before Easter. I approach a coworker who I know doesn’t celebrate it.)

Me: “So, what are you doing on Zombie day?”

Coworker: “Zombie day?”

Me: “Next Sunday. Easter. You know… Jesus rose from the dead…”

(She got a good laugh from that.)

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