Category: Language & Words

Have No Idea WHAT Is Going On

| Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

(I’m working at the jewellery counter as a Christmas seasonal employee. I see a display is looking a bit sparse so while I’m not helping anyone I grab some jewellery from the storage drawers under the display to refill it. My manager passes behind me and sees the empty display.)

Manager: “[My Name], refill the jewellery display if you aren’t doing anything.”

Me: “I’m already on it.”

Manager: “What?”

Me: *wondering if I offended her by my wording* “What?”

Manager: “What?”

Me: *stares at the manager, completely confused*

Manager: *to another worker* “I never let anyone say ‘what’ to me. Not even my own daughter.” *walks away*

Me: *flabbergasted*

And A Happy Nude Year!

| ON, Canada | Holidays, Language & Words

(I have been working long shifts for the past 12 days because of the Christmas rush, and I’m a little burned out. The lady I am serving has just bought a box of chicken breasts.)

Me: “Here’s your bag, and here’s your receipt. Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy your breasts!”

(The customer gives me a scandalized stare before hurrying out.)

Coworker: “I think you should go work in the back for a while…”

What The World Needs Now…

| VA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words

(I’m male and married, and I’m on the phone with a male customer whom I know well. He’s recently remarried, and told me about his wife and how very much he is in love with her. While on the call, I’m thinking about how nice that is and how happy I am for him.)

Customer: “Thanks, bye!”

Me: “Bye! Love ya!” *click*

(Then I realized what I said. I sat there for a few minutes, and then sheepishly called him back. The funniest part was, he was so used to hearing it from his wife that it didn’t even register! We had a good laugh over it.)

You Must Be Goking

| Denver, CO, USA | Employees, Language & Words

(I was waiting to talk to woman selling car insurance when I overheard her receiving a VIN number over the phone.)

Woman: “Now was that ‘G’ as in George or ‘J’ as in Giraffe?”

A Shocking Discovery

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Language & Words, Transportation

(I’m the parts manager for a body shop that specializes in high-end cars. My shop is contracted to do all the warranty work for several dealerships in the area. I have just returned to work after taking sick leave and am still getting my head back in the game.)

Me: “I know that you can get custom nameplates for your vehicles, but since when does Land Rover provide them?”

Estimator: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I just got our shipment and these came in for that Discovery you’re dealing with, the one with the new hatchback.”

Estimator: “And?”

Me: *holding up two packages, each with a pre-arranged series of letters ready to put on the vehicle* “I’ve never seen anyone so proud of their hobbies. I mean, who would put “VERY DISCO” on their car?”

(My coworker reaches over and swaps the packages around so I can see that they combine to spell “DISCOVERY.”)

Me: “…I’ve been sick.”