Category: Liars/Scammers


Laundering Laundry Money

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Employees, Liars/Scammers

(The apartment that I have rented for six-years has a laundry room where the machines use pre-paid debit-style cards to operate the machines. In the week leading up to me moving out of the apartment I am doing lots of laundry so have loaded $50 onto the card. The cards are fairly new to the building, and I have never signed anything when I got one, nor had I been told that they were part of the moving out procedures. I have the following exchange with the rental agent as we are doing my closing inspection.)

Agent: “So, we need your laundry card.”

Me: “There’s still a balance on it.”

Agent: “We can’t complete the paperwork until we have the laundry card.”

Me: “I have about $20 on the card. Are you going to give me $20 for the card?”

Agent: “No. You need to contact the laundry company to get the balance. Now, we need the card.”

Me: “So, if you need the card, how can I contact the laundry company to get the balance back?”

Agent: *silent for a moment* “We can’t complete your release of the apartment without the laundry card.”

Me: “And I wouldn’t be able to get the money back without the card. So, give me $20, and then you can call the laundry company for the $20 left on the card.”

Agent: “We can’t do that. You put the money on the card.”

Me: “These cards don’t have names on them. They’re generic cards. You can call and get the $20. If you want the card now, give me $20, and I’ll give you the card.”

Agent: “We need the card to clear the paperwork. We can’t call the company on your behalf for the balance on the card.”

Me: “Well, I’m not giving you the card with my money on it, unless you give me $20 for the balance on the card.”

(This went on for a good five minutes. Eventually the agent relented, and let me sign the paperwork and recorded the card as lost. I didn’t need the card in my new place, so I gave it to my mother whose office uses them. She paid me $20 from petty cash for the balance on the card. I’m convinced that the agent just wanted to use the card for his own laundry.)


I’m Anti-Antivirus

| Austria | Liars/Scammers, Technology

(The usual “Your computer has a virus” scammer calls my work mobile phone. Unfortunately for him, he could not have picked a worse target.)

Scammer: “This is [Name] from Microsoft; we have noticed your PC has a virus.”

Me: *panicky* “What? WHAT? Oh, no, please don’t say… Please, not again. What happened to the others?”

Scammer: “Yes, it has a virus.”

Me: “My boss will kill me if I nuked the malware storage again; please don’t say they’re gone!”

Scammer: *slowly getting a bit insecure* “No… no damage has been done yet, but…”

Me: “Then why do you say there’s only one virus left on my machine? If there’s only one virus on my machine, I have a big problem. What happened to the other samples?”

Scammer: *clearly a little confused* “Why… No, no, there are many viruses on your machine!”

Me: *breath of relief* “Dude, don’t shock me like this! But why are you calling me when everything’s all right?”

Scammer: *now absolutely confused* “No, it’s not right. There are many viruses on your machine!”

Me: “Yes. I sure hope so.”

Scammer: “Why would you WANT a virus on your machine?”

Me: “Because we’re an anti-virus research company.” *click*


Hearing Bad Things About You

| Richmond, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Liars/Scammers

(This happens during my second week as an administrator of a small firm.)

Me: *answering phone* “Good morning, [Office]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: *in a very annoyed tone* “I need to speak with [Accountant Coworker] about our bill. It’s not correct.”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. I’ll transfer you to [Accountant Coworker] immediately.”

(I transfer the call, and although my coworker is at the opposite end of the office, it is very quiet and she speaks loudly, so I can hear everything.)

Coworker: “[Accountant Coworker] speaking… Oh, hi, [Caller]. How are you…? Oh! I’m sorry to hear that. Let me check your bill in the system… Yes… Yes, I see the problem. We got this new girl in the office, and clearly she made a mistake… Yes, she’s been messing everything up… Oh, I’ll tell her! I’ll make sure she doesn’t do it again…”

(The conversation continues for a while and I’m absolutely mortified. I’ve received nothing but positive feedback since I started, and to top it off, billing is not part of my job; only the accountant does that! The call ends, and the accountant walks over to my desk, apparently unaware that I could hear her.)

Coworker: “You wouldn’t believe the call I just had! Someone from [Client] called, and she is always so nasty! She wanted us to include extra paperwork justifying last month’s bill, but she never asked for it, so of course I didn’t include it! I gave her a piece of my mind! I told her that her request isn’t standard practice, and if she wants something special she needs to tell me next time! Isn’t that unbelievable?”

Me: *utterly shocked that she not only blamed me for a mistake I didn’t make, but is lying to my face about what she said* “Oh, yeah… unbelievable is right.”

(It’s only been a few weeks and unfortunately this isn’t an isolated incident. I know who I need to keep an eye, and an ear, on in the office!)

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