Category: Movies & TV


Almost The Droids You Are Looking For

| Vista, CA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(In my office, we often abbreviate our names with our initials and then the number 3, i.e. DK3. My supervisor is writing something down, then whites out her initials, which are CS.)

Me: “Oh, you’re not [Supervisor] today?”

Supervisor: “Nope.”

Me: “Who are you, then?”

Supervisor: “CS3-PO.”

(We laugh.)

Me: “You know, if [Coworker whose initials are RD] cloned himself, he’d be R2-D2…”

(It’s nice to have fellow geeks in the office.)


You Actually TALK To Each Other?!

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Movies & TV

(A man comes to the door, selling Sky TV:)

Me: “Actually, we don’t have a TV.”

Salesman: “Seriously? You’re kidding!”

Me: “No, honestly.”

Salesman: “But… what do you arrange your furniture around?”

Me: “Well… it’s in a sort of circle round the living room…”

Salesman: “You mean… like, facing one another?”


Makes No Concessions With That Deal

| England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Money, Movies & TV

(We haven’t been to the cinema for years mainly due to the high prices; however, our daughter is old enough to sit through a film and a family movie is airing and we decide to go. We have paid for our tickets and are browsing the concession stand.)

Worker: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Just these sweets, please.”

Worker: “Can I interest you in some popcorn?”

Me: “One small sweet, please.”

Worker: “We have some great deals on at the moment.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Worker: *enthusiastically* “If you buy a drink and some popcorn, it’s a special deal. Hot food, popcorn, and a drink has even more savings!”

Me: “Just the popcorn and sweets, thanks.”

Worker: “Are you sure? You will miss out on the great savings.”

Me: “Uh, fine, I’ll bite. How much do I save?”

Worker: “Well a drink and a popcorn is £6.99.”

Me: “Hang on, how much do I save?”

Worker: “I, err, well…” *working it out* “5p!”

Me: “No, thanks, I think we will pass.”

Worker: “Are you sure?”

(We didn’t take the “great” savings in the end, despite him trying to sell it like the deal of the century.)


In An Entirely Different Space

| Bay Area, CA, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Movies & TV

(My friend and I wanted to go catch a late movie one night, shortly after the release of a very popular space movie. When I get to the window, the employee looks bored out of his mind and isn’t even paying attention.)

Me: *walking up to the window* “Hi, can we get two tickets for—“

Employee: *interrupting me before I say what movie* “We’re sold out of [Space Movie].”

Me: “Umm… okay? Can we get two tickets for—“

Employee: “I just said we’re sold out.”

Me: “Yeah, but can I get two tick—“

Employee: *yelling* “WE’RE SOLD OUT!”

Me: “I KNOW! Can I get two tickets for—“

(The employee throws his headset onto the counter and stomps out. He comes back a few minutes later with his supervisor.)

Supervisor: “We’re all sold out of [Space Movie] tickets for the rest of the weekend.”

(Supervisor doesn’t even wait for my response and starts to walk away; I knock on the glass to get his attention.)

Me: “I know that movie is sold out, I really don’t care. I’ve been at this window for over a minute and I haven’t even mentioned the name of the movie I want to see.”

Supervisor: *with a surprised look* “What movie did you want to see?”

Me: “Can I get two tickets for the 10:15 showing of [Different Movie]?”

Supervisor: *quickly sells us the tickets*


Three Dimensions Of Stupidity And Bigotry

| NJ, USA | Bigotry, Lazy/Unhelpful, Movies & TV

(My fiancée and I, both male, recently went back to the ‘big’ movie theater in our local mall. We stopped going because after a renovation their prices jacked up to almost twice the cost of everywhere else in the area, but having gotten a gift card for there as a birthday present, we give them another shot. About two minutes into the premier of a new movie, we get up to complain.)

Me: “Excuse me, there’s an issue in theater two. The projector has the 3D lens on but it’s supposed to be a 2D movie.”

Employee: “How do you know?”

Fiancée: “Because everything’s blurry, out of focus, it’s about half as bright as it should be, and this exact same problem happened last time we were here and we had to tell you how to fix it THEN, too.”

Employee #2: “You’re in a 3D showing, sirs.”

Me: “Nnnnnoooo?” *shows ticket stub* “It says right here, 2D.”

Employee #2: “Well, on this listing here it shows 3D.”

Me: “Then the listing’s wrong. I wouldn’t go to a 3D showing because my left eye’s messed up and won’t focus right to make 3D work. It’s also at least $10 more per ticket. It should be 2D, but the lens is messing it up.”

Employee #1: “Sir, please just stop trying to get free tickets.”

Fiancée: “WHAT!? We WANT to see THIS movie, just not messed up!”

Employee #1: “We get people pulling this nonsense all the time; they get a 3D movie but think it costs too much so they complain, just—”

Me: “It’s NOT a 3D movie!”

(My fiancée’s about ready to jump across the counter, and apparently there’s been enough of a ruckus that the manager’s already on the way over without being asked for. One of the employees apparently hears me call my boyfriend ‘babe,’ and says the following thinking I won’t hear.)

Employee #2: “Figures; they’re a couple queers.”

Me: “EXCUSE ME!? You want to repeat that?!”

Manager: “Yes, I’d love to hear it again, too!”

(The two ‘customer relations’ workers turned white as sheets and spun around to see him. Needless to say, the manager got the projectionist to take off the lens, comped us the free tickets to another showing that the other workers thought we were trying to ‘scam’ out of them, and made sure the listings for the workers were reprinted to not show 3D on ALL MOVIES that have both 3D and 2D!)

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