Category: Movies & TV

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Putting The ‘D’ Into DeLorean

| Ashford, Kent, UK | Coworkers, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

(I am on my break with a coworker. My mobile phone receives a text – my text alert is the sonic booms that the DeLorean time machine makes when entering a new time period in the “Back to the Future” trilogy. My coworker hears the phone noise.)

Coworker: “What on earth is that noise?”

(I explain. She gives me a blank look.)

Me: “Have you seen the Back to the Future trilogy?”

Coworker: “No, not my sort of thing at all.”

(Fair enough. How boring if we all liked the same things, but then…)

Coworker: “I would rather watch a porn movie!”

Me: “…”

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Will Be In Your Head For A Long(stocking) Time

| Sweden | Coworkers, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

(As part of my evening shift, I clean the dining area, the student kitchen, the hallway, the stairs, the lobby, and the toilets. Due to our guests currently being middle school classes and making a huge mess, and me not being able to find a way to do the cleaning efficiently, I’ve often had to work overtime. My coworker and I are discussing this during dinner service. I have a tendency to get nostalgic things from my childhood on my brain, and I also have a tendency to get songs stuck in other people’s brains.)

Me: “I used the method you used when cleaning the guest rooms, the one where you just pour soapy water on the floor and sweep, and I actually managed to get cleaning done on time! Thanks for recommending it!”

Coworker: “Yeah, I saw [Other Coworker] do it when she was cleaning the dining area two weeks ago. You don’t have to dip the mop in the bucket, so you save a bunch of time. It’s like Pippi Longstocking, only you don’t have scrubbers on your feet.”

Me: “Yeah, that would get cleaning done even faster… Hey, so it’s your fault that I’ve had Pippi stuck in my head for the past four days!”

Coworker: “Heh, maybe.”

Me: “The intro song to the cartoon, specifically! Did you watch that as a kid?”

Coworker: “Of course I did! It was the s***.”

Me: *singing* “What shall I do today? What shall we do today? What shall I do today? What shall I do?”

Coworker: *laughs and goes into the kitchen*

(I continue to watch over the dining area for a while, handing out portions and keeping an eye on the drinks table, when my coworker comes back.)

Coworker: “D*** it! Now I have the song stuck in my head too!”

Me: *evil laugh*

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Frozen By A Cold

| West Sussex, UK | Employees, Movies & TV

(I’m ordering something from a large shop in Bogner Regis. Talking to an employee over the phone, it went well until this. Note: I have a slight cold.)

Employee: “Okay, can I have your address, please?”

Me: *states address* “Arundel.”

(This is pronounced ‘arren-dull’.)

Employee: *after a couple of seconds of silence, sarcastically* “Very funny. Your real address, please.”

Me: “That is my address.”

Employee: “I need a real address for delivery.”

Me: *not understanding what I did* “What did I do wrong?”

Employee: “This is a serious business. We don’t have time for clowns.”

Me: “What?!”

Employee: “I need a real address or I’m terminating this phone call.”

Me: “It’s a real address! Look it up on Google; I don’t get what the problem is—” *I realize* “—Oh! Oh, look, please, I’m not pretending. Just look it up on Google.”

Employee: “I don’t have time for this.”

(I called again and I got another employee, one who knew how to read a map!)

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