Category: Movies & TV

I Smell Time Warp Trouble

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV

(In the summer, our major theme park chain has employee movie nights after the park closes. The person in charge of the event posts a list of what we can and cannot do while watching the movies, the most prominent:

“No talking, acting up and trashing the theater”

All employees look at the list of movies showing for the summer to plan on what we are wanting to see. When we see “The Rocky Horror Motion Picture Show” a third of the way down the list. Upon seeing that, a coworker and I go to the person in charge of the event.)

Coworker: “[Supervisor], we want to inform you that there is a movie scheduled on [date] that will violate most if not every rule of the code of conduct list for the movies.”

Supervisor: *looking at the list* “Oh, that movie! It’s a cute musical. It is harmless.

Me: “[Supervisor], this movie is a cult classic; we guarantee you that people are going to get on stage and act along with the movie, sing along, throw food, etc. You DON’T want to be showing this movie.”

Supervisor: “You are lying. No one will do that during the movie, and you are all adults, not children. I have watched this at home many times and have not seen that happen during the movie.”

Coworker: “Have you been to any theater that shows this?”

Supervisor: “No, I don’t go to theaters to watch movies. I wait for them to get released and then watch them at home, as theaters get too noisy to enjoy the movie.”

Me: “Precisely! Things are going to get rowdy during the Rocky Horror Show!”

Supervisor: “No, it won’t. I will not hear any more about this. You are all adults and know how to sit quietly and watch the movie.”

Me & Coworker: “It’s your funeral.”

(Cue the day after the movie, notices are posted all over the back stage areas of the park…)

Notice: “Due to employees getting rowdy last night and trashing the theater during the Rocky Horror Show. We are permanently cancelling the employee movie nights because people can’t behave like adults and act like children instead.”

Coworker:  *looks at me* “Called it!”

Harry Potter And The Mobsters Of Azkaban

| NC, USA | Coworkers, Movies & TV

(Our locally owned restaurant is known for hiring pretty girls, but not always the smartest.)

Employee: “I watched that movie Scarface last night. Have you seen that movie, Scarface?”

(A few of the other servers mutter answers, her eyes go wide…)

Employee: “Wasn’t he like, a REAL guy? Like, didn’t he really go to that prison… Azkaban?!”

Me: “Oh, honey, that’s from Harry Potter… Are you thinking of Alcatraz?”

Employee: “No! It’s real! They made a movie about it… It’s called Shutter Island or something like that…”

That Is The Droid You Are Looking For

| Seattle, WA, USA | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(This whole conversation happened over the walkies we use to communicate across the sales floor.)

Coworker #1: “Toys, you have a call on [extension]”

Coworker #2: “Can you explain what it is they’re looking for?”

Coworker #1: “That’s the problem. I don’t understand what they’re asking for. A BB-8? Apparently it’s round with an antenna?”

Coworker #2: “Oh, I got the call.”

Me: “It’s basically the new R2D2.”

Coworker #1: “I’m not up to date on the Star Wars stuff.”

Coworker #3: “I’ll come back there and teach you.”

Brought A Bat’leth To A Phaser Fight

| AB, Canada | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, New Hires

(My love of Star Trek is renowned among my friends and coworkers. This happened many years ago, back when VHS was beginning to give way to DVD. A new hire at the grocery store where I worked tried to show me up.)

Cashier: “Hey, [My Name], I bet I’m a bigger Trekkie than you!”

Me: “Oh? How so?

Cashier: “Well, I own all the movies on video.”

Me: “I own them all on DVD.”

Cashier: “I have two Star Trek pins.”

Me: “I have a dozen.”

Cashier: “I went to a Star Trek convention once, and I met Scotty.”

Me: “I’ve been to several, and I’ve met Scotty, Uhura, PIcard, Riker, Worf, and Major Kira.”

Cashier: “Do you have any of the action figures?”

Me: “A few.”

Cashier: “Are they still in the box?”

Me: “Of course!”

(The store manager’s been in earshot and listening to this whole exchange.)

Store Manager: “YOU’RE NOT WINNING!”

Cashier: “Yeah, well, I also collect hockey cards.”

What’s This? What’s This? There’s Bodies Everywhere!

| IL, USA | Coworkers, Holidays, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

(We had someone from Ghana visit some time before this. I want them to come again and plan to give them an American story.)

Me: *to coworker* “So, I think he’d be able to understand some of the features, since the character’s killed by parents in revenge.”

Coworker: “But no parents ever get him.”

Me: *as I haven’t watched the whole movie, I move on* “But it’s just, he’d be able to understand, since this character dies and haunts them.”

Coworker: “But he doesn’t die.”

Me: *wondering what’s going on* “Okay, you tell me what happens.”

Coworker: “Well, he dresses up as Santa and goes to bring Christmas to everyone.”

Me: “That’s The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

Coworker: “What were you talking about?”

Me:Nightmare on Elm Street.”

(She bursts out laughing.)

Coworker: “I’m so sorry!”

Me: *to coworker* “Just be grateful it wasn’t with a 10-year-old and a DVD player.”

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