Category: Movies & TV


Three Dimensions Of Stupidity And Bigotry

| NJ, USA | Bigotry, Lazy/Unhelpful, Movies & TV

(My fiancée and I, both male, recently went back to the ‘big’ movie theater in our local mall. We stopped going because after a renovation their prices jacked up to almost twice the cost of everywhere else in the area, but having gotten a gift card for there as a birthday present, we give them another shot. About two minutes into the premier of a new movie, we get up to complain.)

Me: “Excuse me, there’s an issue in theater two. The projector has the 3D lens on but it’s supposed to be a 2D movie.”

Employee: “How do you know?”

Fiancée: “Because everything’s blurry, out of focus, it’s about half as bright as it should be, and this exact same problem happened last time we were here and we had to tell you how to fix it THEN, too.”

Employee #2: “You’re in a 3D showing, sirs.”

Me: “Nnnnnoooo?” *shows ticket stub* “It says right here, 2D.”

Employee #2: “Well, on this listing here it shows 3D.”

Me: “Then the listing’s wrong. I wouldn’t go to a 3D showing because my left eye’s messed up and won’t focus right to make 3D work. It’s also at least $10 more per ticket. It should be 2D, but the lens is messing it up.”

Employee #1: “Sir, please just stop trying to get free tickets.”

Fiancée: “WHAT!? We WANT to see THIS movie, just not messed up!”

Employee #1: “We get people pulling this nonsense all the time; they get a 3D movie but think it costs too much so they complain, just—”

Me: “It’s NOT a 3D movie!”

(My fiancée’s about ready to jump across the counter, and apparently there’s been enough of a ruckus that the manager’s already on the way over without being asked for. One of the employees apparently hears me call my boyfriend ‘babe,’ and says the following thinking I won’t hear.)

Employee #2: “Figures; they’re a couple queers.”

Me: “EXCUSE ME!? You want to repeat that?!”

Manager: “Yes, I’d love to hear it again, too!”

(The two ‘customer relations’ workers turned white as sheets and spun around to see him. Needless to say, the manager got the projectionist to take off the lens, comped us the free tickets to another showing that the other workers thought we were trying to ‘scam’ out of them, and made sure the listings for the workers were reprinted to not show 3D on ALL MOVIES that have both 3D and 2D!)


Be Careful With Your Free Speech

| CA, USA | Coworkers, Movies & TV


(I work at a grocery market where my job is scanning and keeping track of bakery sales. Having just started my shift I am searching for my portable scan-gun. I see that the deli is borrowing it and ask Coworker #1 there to get it for me. Coworker #1 is black.)

Me: “Hi! Can I get the scan-gun?”

Coworker: *cheerfully* “Sure! Your wish is my command!”

(Her quote reminds me of the Disney’s Aladdin character Genie. Without thinking I respond with Aladdin’s quote to Genie.)

Me: “And now I wish you to be free!”

(Coworker #1 immediately frowns and looks offended.)

Coworker #1: “I already am free!”

(It takes me a split second to realize what I’ve done. My face turns bright red with embarrassment.)

Me: “Wait! No! I didn’t mean that! I was just movie-quoting what Aladdin said to Genie! I didn’t mean… I’m sorry! I was just—”

(She continues to glare at me and I’m too embarrassed to keep talking. I stammer a few more apologies out, grab my scan-gun and dash away. She told one of her coworkers and they burst into laughter explaining that I was a movie buff and tend to movie quote a lot. I was told later that she let it slide.)


The Key To A False Arrest

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Ignoring & Inattentive, Movies & TV

(My keys fall out of my pocket at the movie theater today. I realize this when I get to my car. I walk back to the theater and enter intending to go to my seat and retrieve the keys when the manager confronts me.)

Manager: “Sir! Sir, did you buy a ticket?”

Me: “No, I dropped my keys in the theater. I was going to go retrieve them.”

Manager: “Well, I can’t let you in there.”

Me: “I dropped my keys in there; I’d like to retrieve them.”

Manager: “I don’t know that; you could just be trying to sneak in to a movie.”

Me: “Then you can come in with me and see that I get my keys.”

Manager: “No, sir, you are not going inside the theater.”

Me: “Yes, I am. Excuse me.”

Manager: “I’m calling the police.”

Me: “That’s fine; I’ll only be a moment.”

(I go in, go to my seat, find the keys tucked into the cushion and came back out. Sure enough, the manager is on the phone with the police. I walk over and take the receiver from her.)

Me: “Hello? Yes, I’m the gentleman she’s calling about. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve gotten my car keys out of the movie theater and am leaving the premises. Thank you for your assistance.”

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