Category: Movies & TV

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I Stand Alone Among These Movies

| ID, USA | Coworkers, Movies & TV

(My coworker is in charge of the content on the TV screens that play at the main doors of the library, showing new releases, upcoming programs, and inspirational book-related quotes in a slideshow format. He also selects music to accompany said slideshows, and one month he decides to go with Disney music.)

Coworker: “Last week I did popular Disney songs, so this week I’m thinking of going with more obscure ones.”

Me: “Oh really? Like which ones?”

Coworker: “For one, I was thinking ‘I Stand Alone’ from ‘Quest For Camelot.’”

Me: “Um… that’s not a Disney movie.”

Coworker: “It’s not? I could have sworn it was.”

Me: “Nope. Warner Brothers made it, I think.”

Coworker: “Oh… well, another one I was thinking was ‘Once Upon a December’ from…”

Me: “’Anastasia’ isn’t Disney either.”

Coworker: “Really? What about ‘Swan Princess’?”

Me: “Not Disney.”

Coworker: “Dang it. Now you’re gonna tell me ‘The Black Cauldron’ isn’t Disney either.”

Me: “Actually, that one is.”

Coworker: “Dang it!”

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Cheech And Chong Is Never Wrong

| MN, USA | Awesome Workers, Bosses & Owners, Movies & TV

(Our center manager is named Dave.)

Coworker: *answers ringing phone* “Thank you for calling [Center]; how may I help you?”

Corporate Big Wig: “Can I be transferred to Dave, please?”

Coworker: “Dave’s not here, man.”

Corporate Big Wig: “How about [Other Manager]?”

Coworker: “Hold please.”

Other Manager: “This is [Other Manager].”

Corporate Big Wig: “So, you need to drug test the employee who answered the phones just now.”

Other Manager: “What? Why?!”

Corporate Big Wig: “For answering the phone with a Cheech and Chong reference. Then drug test me for getting it.”

(Isn’t it nice when corporate big shots are people, too?)

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Looney Over Luna

| UK | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Movies & TV

(It’s been a busy day and we’re all taking a quick tea break. I and another colleague have gotten into a discussion about Harry Potter and the ‘Deathly Hallows Part One’ (which has just come out). I have read the books, my colleague has not.)

Colleague: “I was so upset about Dobby I had to leave. I was DISTRAUGHT!”

Me: “Yeah, it’s one of two times I cried reading the books.”

Colleague: “Oh, I’d never read them. I can’t imagine living through Dobby again.”

Me: “You might like them; there’s more of Dobby in the books.”

Colleague: “Really? I wonder how much they left out.”

Me: “Loads. My favourite part of Deathly Hallows was missed out of the movie as well.”

Colleague: “Oh, no, that’s awful!”

Me: “I know. It isn’t long, but it describes Luna’s bedroom, and how she has a mural or the trio and Neville on her ceiling, and a ribbon going around them made out of the word ‘friends.’”

Colleague: “Oh, that’s so sweet!” *I can see her tearing up*

Me: “Yeah, it really solidified her as a favourite character for me.”

Colleague: “That… she actually… had friends. And then she was… taken!” *by now there are streams down both sides of her cheeks*

Me: “Yeah, but she’s tough. She can survive anything. Are you looking forward to Part Two?”

Colleague: “…”

Me: “Umm, are you all right?”

Colleague: “I just… Luna.” *she grabs me* “PLEASE TELL ME SHE LIVES!”

Me: “Do you really want me to spoil it for you?”

Colleague: *near panic and clenching harder* “SHE DOESN’T, DOES SHE!?”

Me: *panicking myself now* “No, she lives! She lives!”

Colleague: *calming down but not loosening her grip* “Oh, thank GOD!”

(She eventually lets go but collapses on the floor sobbing into one of my legs. She is sent home before our break is over. Our manager comes in after seeing her off.)

Manager: “What did you do?”

Me: “I don’t know. We were just talking about Harry Potter.”

Manager: “Well, don’t do it again, and please, whatever you do: DO. NOT. MENTION. SIMBA!”

Me: “The Lion King?”

(My manager just wagged his finger at me as he left the room.)

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Almost The Droids You Are Looking For

| Vista, CA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(In my office, we often abbreviate our names with our initials and then the number 3, i.e. DK3. My supervisor is writing something down, then whites out her initials, which are CS.)

Me: “Oh, you’re not [Supervisor] today?”

Supervisor: “Nope.”

Me: “Who are you, then?”

Supervisor: “CS3-PO.”

(We laugh.)

Me: “You know, if [Coworker whose initials are RD] cloned himself, he’d be R2-D2…”

(It’s nice to have fellow geeks in the office.)

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You Actually TALK To Each Other?!

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Movies & TV

(A man comes to the door, selling Sky TV:)

Me: “Actually, we don’t have a TV.”

Salesman: “Seriously? You’re kidding!”

Me: “No, honestly.”

Salesman: “But… what do you arrange your furniture around?”

Me: “Well… it’s in a sort of circle round the living room…”

Salesman: “You mean… like, facing one another?”

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