Category: Time

Laid (Time) Off

| Florida, USA | Coworkers, Holidays, Time

(This takes place on Christmas Eve at a 24 hour store. It’s around ten in the morning. The coworker I’m talking to is rather childish and no one really enjoys working with him. This takes place as we’re stocking some stocking stuffer items.)

Coworker: “Man, this sucks.”

Me: “Eh, it’s not so bad. Tomorrow is probably going to be a nightmare during the evening, but it’s not so bad right now. Aren’t you only working till noon anyhow?”

Coworker: “Yeah, but I shouldn’t be here at all.”

Me: “Some people are working tomorrow. Working a few hours on Christmas Eve isn’t so bad.

Coworker: “Says you! You get to be off for a week after today!”

Me: “Yes, that’s because I didn’t wait until three days ago to put in for time. You’re lucky you got tomorrow off at all.”

Coworker:I shouldn’t be forced to work any holiday!”

Me: “Why not? The first year I worked here I worked every single holiday. It sucked, but you do what’s required of you. I put in for time. That’s why I got it for this year.”

Coworker: “I put in for time! I should get it! What makes you so special that you get time off around the holidays!? You put in for time, same as me, so why did YOU get it and I didn’t?!”

Me: “I put in for it in January.”

Coworker: “Oh…”

(The assistant Manager has overheard our conversation and comes over.)

Assistant Manager: *to me* “I think we got this if you wanna take off early.”

Coworker: ‘But I’m scheduled to leave before her today. You should send me home!”

Assistant Manager: “As much as I would love to send you home, we actually have to have a little talk.” *to me* “Have a great Christmas and I’ll see you when you get back!”

(When I got back my coworker had been fired for not showing up for his shift the two days after Christmas. He claimed it was because he put in for time, so he was going to take it, approved or not!)

Please Stop As-Sale-ing Our Troops

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Time

(My husband is graduating from military training. I’ve known some time in advance about the date of the graduation, but because of a sale that day where I work, I am not allowed to take the day off. I do leave several notes with management not to schedule me, but, sure enough, I am scheduled to work that day. I make one last-ditch effort to reschedule by talking to my manager.)

Manager: ‘Why didn’t you ask for this day off in advance?”

Me: “I tried, but I wasn’t allowed to because of the sale.”

Manager: “What do you need it off for again?”

Me: “My husband is graduating from his military training, and this is the only opportunity I’ve had or will have to see him in months. I’ve already made my travel arrangements, so you can either let me find someone to cover it now, or I have to call out that day and leave the shift uncovered.”

Manager: *sighs* “Can you get them to move it?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “Can you get them to move the graduation?”

Me: “You want me to call the Department of (military branch) and get them to move his graduation so it won’t conflict with a sale? I can’t do that. There’s about a thousand other people graduating that day. They won’t move the graduation for the sale.”

Manager: “You won’t know until you try!”

Me: *speechless*

This Coworker Is A Bit Week Minded

| Pennsylvania, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Time, Top

(My coworker is a giant ditz, which would be acceptable if she weren’t also extremely rude.)

Coworker #1: “Hey, what’s the matter? You look like crap.”

Me: “Gee, thanks. I’m pretty down because my grandma just died on Saturday.”

Coworker #1: “What the h*** are you talking about? It’s Friday!”

Me: “Yeah, and?”

Coworker #1: “So, Saturday hasn’t even happened yet. Duh!”

(Overhearing this exchange, my coworker steps in.)

Coworker #2: *to coworker #1* “Were you perhaps dropped on your head when you were a baby? There is a Saturday every week!”

The Menopause Should Have Given You Pause

| Utah, USA | Employees, Time

(My grandmother has macular degeneration and is partially blind as a result. I often call to schedule her doctor’s appointments for her since she has a hard time dialing the phone.)

Nurse: “Okay, now what is your grandmother’s date of birth?”

Me: “May 25, 1918.”

Nurse: “Alright, now is there any possibility that she’s pregnant?”

Me: “No.”

Nurse: “Are you absolutely sure that you’re grandmother is not pregnant?”

Me: “Well, since she went through menopause in the early 1970s, lost her husband in the late 1980s and just celebrated her 94th birthday, I can say with confidence that she is not pregnant.”

Nurse: *indignantly* “You never said she was in her 90s!”

Whether Sunday Or Monday, It’s Definitely Not A Fun Day

| New York, USA | Employees, Time

(Note: this happens to my friend one Monday evening.)

Friend: “I think I need replacement door hardware for the 400 series [brand].”

Employee: “Uh, what?”

Friend: “My door handle broke, and I need to get a replacement. It’s a [brand] door and the door is hanging over here, but I can’t find a replacement knob anywhere.”

Employee: “The knob broke?”

Friend: “Not the knob itself, but the internal parts. I probably need to replace the whole thing.”

Employee: “Door handles are… uh…”

Friend: “They are right over here, but I don’t see ones that are exactly like the one on this door right here.”

Employee: “Does it matter?”

Friend: “Well, the holes are already in the right place.”

Employee: “Oh yeah, makes sense.” *nodding and looking at floor*

Friend: “Is there someone else here in this department that could help?”

Employee: “No, I’m by myself on Sunday nights. You’ll have to call back Monday morning.”

Friend: “It is Monday, but I’m gathering I need to talk to the day guy.”

Employee: “No. It’s Sunday!”

Friend: “Well, I was at my office today and so were most of the other 200 people I work with, so I’m pretty sure it is Monday.”

Employee: “It’s really Monday?”

Friend: “Yes.”

Employee: “$#&%!” *hustles off*