Unfiltered Story #49737

North Carolina, USA | Unfiltered

For years I worked at a newspaper before leaving to enroll in divinity school. By the time I am ordained and serving a church, I haven’t worked in newspapers for more than ten years. Nevertheless, one day the phone rings and I answer it. What I should say, “___ Lutheran church, this is Pastor ___.” What I say:

Me: Journal editorial department….”

Unfiltered Story #49738

Birmingham, England, UK | Unfiltered

(I’m an IT worker. Our company uses software to synchronise data between the central server and a lot of other computers. This day, a problem occurred that meant that if anyone tried to start a synchronisation some data could be lost.)

(We made sure to inform anyone not to attempt one until we told them it was OK to do so, and in the meanwhile began to backup each of the client computers while attempting to solve the issue.)

(Having stayed in the office two hours late, we believed we had solved it so we began to synchronise one computer and see it it worked.)

My boss’s boss: Has everything gone OK with the backups?

My boss: Yes, they’ve all done exactly as [Administrator] told them, and left their computers on.

Me: Which is surprising. You’re new here, [Boss], but generally whenever we tell them not to do something, it’s guaranteed that someone will do it.

My boss’s boss: It’s because of [Administrator]. They respect her a lot so they listen.

(Our attempt completed successfully with no data loss so we went home. Later, when I checked the logs, I saw that someone had actually synchronised at the same time as our test run, long before we’d told them it was OK. Luckily, that went well too…)

Unfiltered Story #49739

Alphen, Netherlands | Unfiltered

One thing you might think of when someone mentions Amsterdam is lots of bicycles. Since the Dutch are used to streets filled with bicycles, we associate Amsterdam especially with… bicycle theft!

During my years at a park in the province of South Holland, I used to have a colleague who lived in Amsterdam. Nice guy, but overall very relaxed, close to “don’t care”-attitude. One day, in the dressing room, I have this conversation with him:

Me: “Maybe I should wash my work clothes this week.”

Coworker: “I never do that.”

Me: “You never feel dirty in those then?”

Coworker: “No. I don’t even feel that dirty in the clothes I’m wearing now. And I’ve been wearing them for over 10 days already.”

Me: “What? Seriously?”

Coworker: “Yeah, well, unfortunately, I had no choice. My bike was stolen and my keyring with it, so I haven’t been able to enter my house for a while.”

Me: “Oh, man, that sucks.”

Coworker: “Yeah, it does.”

Me: “You’d wish they could put some kind of microchip in bicycles, so that only the rightful owner could use it.”

Coworker: “In that case, I’m quite sure I wouldn’t have been able to use that bike.”

Unfiltered Story #49742

Belize | Unfiltered

This occurs in a theatre on a cruise ship popular for its “Freestyle Cruising”. About three quarters of the population of the ship is watching a comedy act.

Comedian: “Why is it called /freestyle/ cruising if one glass of soda costs four dollars?”

Crowd: *riots*

Unfiltered Story #49740

UK | Unfiltered

(I have a bus card that I pay for monthly. I place it on a sensor next to the bus’s door and I normally get a green light, which means it’s recognised as valid. This time however, I get a red light and “BLOCKED” appears on the screen.)

Driver: It’s blocked.

Me: I saw… That’s weird, let me try again.

(I try once more and the same thing happens)

Driver: You can’t use it.

Me: (confused) What could have caused this?

Driver: No.

Me: What?

Driver: No.

Me: I’m asking what the cause may be.

Driver: No.

Me: What do you mean, no?

Driver: No.

(I did get him to listen eventually, after a few more Nos, and offer a possible explanation. I had to buy a ticket. For your curiosity, I discovered in the end that a replacement card had been sent to the wrong address, and I had a new one a few days later.)