I am interviewing for a relatively senior position that I am uniquely qualified for thanks to my knowledge of some more obscure programming languages. The interviewers are two men.

Interviewer: “Are you married?”

I’m thinking that we’re moving on to the more “personal” part of the interview.

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Interviewer: “Are you taking birth control? We’re not in the business of financing employee pregnancies.”

Thankfully, the other interviewer looked as horrified as I did and ended the interview right there and then.

I got a phone call later apologising and asking me to come back, but I refused, stating that it was a big red flag that someone with that attitude toward women got to that senior position in the company in the first place.

I work at a warehouse. I’m heading out to my car to go home after my shift when I see one of the company vans parked in the space behind me, with its front bumper making contact with my rear bumper. I take a picture, go back inside, and inform the driving department manager, and he asks me to pull forward to show the damage so he can take a picture, as well. Luckily, the only damage is some barely noticeable scuffing.

[Driving Manager] tells me the driver of that particular van has had a history of close calls with parking, but this was his first time hitting someone, and he’ll have a talk with him about it. I am able to quickly buff out the scuffing on my car back home. From what I hear, [Driver] gets written up because it isn’t his first instance of him bumping other vehicles.

About a week later, I’m getting into my car when the driver of the van from the last time pulls into the spot behind me. Once again, he makes contact with my rear bumper, and I actually feel it this time. I quickly get out and assess the damage, and I take another picture — this time it’s more significant, as my bumper is cracked. The driver gets out at the same time.

Driver: “What are you doing?”

Me: “You just hit my car and cracked my bumper. I’m taking a picture of the damage.”

Driver: “Stop whining! I didn’t hit you at all! The damage was already there!”

Me: “No, it wasn’t. That is a fresh crack on my bumper. You can’t convince me that this wasn’t you.”

Driver: “I didn’t hit your car!”

Me: “No, you absolutely did hit my car. The damage lines up perfectly. You literally cannot deny that this was your doing.”

Driver: “Shut up! You’re just making this up to get me in trouble! For the last time, I did not hit you!”

At this point, [Driving Manager], who saw the incident while cleaning his own company truck, comes over.

Driving Manager: “Yes. Yes, you did hit him, [Driver]. I saw it, the parking lot cameras saw it, the dashcam in your van saw it, and I’m pretty sure [My Name]’s dashcam saw it. Go to my office and wait for me there, [Driver]. We’ll need to talk about this in a moment. [My Name], I’m going to take a few pictures of the damage, and then you can go home. When you come in tomorrow, come right to me and we’ll get things sorted out.”

When I went in the following day, [Driving Manager] helped me get an appointment set up to fix my car. The bumper had to be completely replaced, along with the parking sensors inside it, which ended up costing about $3,200 altogether, including the cost of my rental. The company’s insurance covered everything.

Meanwhile, [Driver] lost his job, not just for hitting my car again, but for adamantly insisting he was not at fault despite the large amounts of evidence proving otherwise.

I am responding to a ticket from our recruitment manager to customize the work email address for a new hire. This particular manager sends us a LOT of stupid little tickets, and the office manager has had enough.

Office Manager: “Why are you humoring [Recruitment Manager] with his ticket? He sends in so many every day. He needs to learn that we can’t give his hires customized email addresses.”

Me: “I know, but this one is something I thought we could do for him.”

Office Manager: “Why?”

Me: “Because all the work emails are the initial letter and surname followed by @ and then the company name.”

Office Manager: “Why are you explaining something to me that everyone knows?”

Me: “Because what you don’t know is that the new hire he wants us to set up a work email for is called Theresa Watt.”

Office Manager: “So? That just means… Oh… Oh!”

Me: “So, I figured I’d let ‘Twatts’ add her middle initial to… ease the onboarding process.”

He left me alone after that.

I was leading a meeting in which we were making some technical decisions about our product design. One guy on the team, the technical expert, was very much the prima donna. He really did have unique skills and information that were incredibly valuable to the program, but he was a complete arrogant jerk. Someone in the meeting said something [Expert] disagreed with, and he started yelling, cursing, pounding his fists, and stomping his feet. Everyone was staring at him like he was insane.

I waited silently until he wound down.

Me: *Calmly* “You know, [Expert], when my two-year-old yells, stomps his feet, and pounds his fists, I give him a snack and send him to his room until he calms down. I’m going to suggest now that we end this meeting, get some coffee and cookies from the break room, and go back to our offices, and I’ll reschedule this when we’re all ready to resume. Okay?”

There was a moment of stunned silence as everyone realized that I’d just called our technical expert a temperamental toddler. Then, [Expert] turned so red I thought he was going to explode at me, but three other people stood up and said, “Yes, that’s a great idea,” and physically interposed themselves between [Expert] and me while others basically escorted him out.

He never spoke to me again after that, but not long thereafter, we hired another expert in the same field and he was soon made redundant.

My roommates and I decided to go grab food from [Sandwich Chain] before we went out one Friday night. One of my roommates is half-Ecuadorian, and the [Sandwich Chain] employees were both Hispanic.

While I was in the process of ordering my sandwich, the two workers were speaking to each other in Spanish. When it was my friend’s turn, he ordered in Spanish, which I thought was simply a gesture. I couldn’t figure out why both employees looked like ghosts and stammered their way through the entire ordering process.

When I got back in the car, my friend said that the two workers said, “Look at this f****** pretty boy, pretending to be cultured. What a [homophobic slur]; he doesn’t even know the language.”

At that point, my friend decided to place his entire order in Spanish — and thank them at the end of the transaction.

Related:
If You Wouldn’t Say It To Their Face, Don’t Say It Near Their Ears, Part 4
If You Wouldn’t Say It To Their Face, Don’t Say It Near Their Ears, Part 3
If You Wouldn’t Say It To Their Face, Don’t Say It Near Their Ears, Part 2
If You Wouldn’t Say It To Their Face, Don’t Say It Near Their Ears