Using Your Resources To Make This “Human” Miserable
Long story short, we had a totally corrupt and universally hated Human Resources manager. It was unanimously agreed that if we found ways to make his life a little less happy, we’d do so, but trust me, he deserved so much more. He was a racist, homophobic misogynist who purposefully ruined a marriage because he could and took pleasure in ensuring anyone non-white would never get a promotion.
Every time I flew for work, I got one of those in-flight magazine ad postcards, checked every box, and added [HR Manager]’s name and the company address.
He got literature for wigs, incontinence products, erectile dysfunction problems, hair restorers, Hair Club for Men, penis enlargement, sex toys, women’s sexy underwear — you name it, he got it.
One coworker who visited other establishments would sign him up for magazines about gay bondage gear.
These companies also sell their data to similar organizations, so this stuff just kept multiplying, and the mail room people kept happily sharing [HR Manager]’s perceived “interests” with the rest of the company.
The mail room staffer delivering mail came to my office and showed me a flyer.
Mail Room Staffer: “He’s looking at wigs now.”
Me: “Oh, yeah, I signed him up for all that.”
She lost it, but she swore herself to secrecy.
[HR Manager] got a reputation for losing his hair, being both incontinent and impotent, losing his memory, ordering cheap mail-order brides, being a massive pervert, and a whole lot more.
I also taped an Acme plastic duck call to his precious, trashy Cadillac and watched him drive out of the lot sounding like Donald Duck with a massive hernia.
[HR Manager] blasted a message out to the entire office saying he’d taken it in to be fixed and was the laughing stock of the dealership, and he wanted whoever was responsible to own up now or there would be repercussions. It took the CEO to remind him that was an abuse of power and maybe he shouldn’t be doing that.
[HR Manager] was finally fired after being accused of making a new young woman worker uncomfortable to the point where it was an HR offense — which is awkward when you’re accusing the HR manager!