Immaculate Misconception, Part 4

| Geelong, Australia | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I am having stomach pain, and go to the ER. I am over 40. A very young, male doctor comes in. The bed is only screened by curtains from other people.)

Doctor: “So, you’re having stomach pain?”

Me: “Yes.”

Doctor: “Are you pregnant?”

Me: “No.”

Doctor: “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”

Me: “Certain. I’m not pregnant.”

Doctor: “Not everyone knows they’re pregnant. The symptoms are…” *reels off list*

Me: “I’m not pregnant. I’ve had two children, and know how my body reacts. Really: not pregnant.”

Doctor: “Every pregnancy is different.”

(Note: by now, everyone in the ER is listening.)

Me: “I am separated. I haven’t had sex in two years. Even a blue whale would have given birth by now. Not. Pregnant.”

Immaculate Misconception, Part 3
Immaculate Misconception, Part 2
Immaculate Misconception

1 Thumbs

Similar Stories

It’s Very Telling How I Am Not Telling Caller: "I'm looking to speak to , please." Me: "He isn't available right now." (Silence.) ...
Talking Eurotrash (I'm living in England but I'm from Ireland. I ring the foreign exchange department of an English ba...
Doesn’t Know What You(tah) Are Talking About (I am moving cross country by myself with all of my belongings in a little pickup truck. Note that I...