Unable To Work In A Crunch

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(It was a particularly cold day and I had a half hour to spare so I decided to treat myself to a hot chocolate. At the register, there was a sign behind the person taking orders advertising a new “Cookie Cream Crunch” range, with the option of a hot chocolate, a latte, or a frappe.)

Me: “Hi, can I please grab a small Cookie Cream Crunch hot chocolate?”

Cashier: “Sure. So, that’s one small Cookie Cream Crunch latte?”

Me: “…and a little whipped cream on top. Oh, no, sorry. I wanted the hot chocolate.”

Cashier: “Okay, one small hot chocolate?”

Me: “No, a Cookie Cream Crunch hot chocolate, please.”

Cashier: “Okay, no worries.”

(She spends a little while typing in buttons.)

Cashier: “So one small Cookie Cream Crunch latte with a little bit of whipped cream?”

Me: “Sorry, no. I wanted the Cookie Cream Crunch hot chocolate.”

Cashier: “Right, of course, sorry. $4.20, please.”

(I received a plain hot chocolate.)

Got You Out Of A Pickle

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

(I travel a lot and always take my four-year-old with me. She seems to always get free stuff but no one believes me. My girlfriends and I decide to do a weekend in Chicago. After getting to the hotel everyone is starving so we get directions to a simple restaurant within walking distance. An older lady seats us and seems super stressed taking our orders. The waitress sets down the plates.)

Me: “Look, pickles! You love pickles!”

(Two minutes later the waitress plops down a plate of extra pickles. My girlfriends and I mumble “Thank you,” all with open mouths of disbelief. A few minutes after that she comes back with a balloon and apologizes for the string being a bit too long.)

Friend #1: “Wow, when she sat us and was really short with us, I thought this was going to be horrible. She’s super nice!”

(We finish and go back to the hotel where the bell hop walks up to my daughter and hands her a stuffed cow.)


The Job Is Way Too Antsy For Me

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

(I’m being trained as a barista at a little family cafe.)

Manager: “So you make the coffee like this, and if they ask for flavouring, what do you do?”

Me: “Well, there’re flavouring things here. Do I use them?”

Manager: “Yep! You use the flavouring pumps. But you should always squirt the flavouring into the cup first, because…”

(She throws a look around and turns back to me conspiratorially.)

Manager: “Sometimes there’re ants in the flavouring. We keep it right next to the window!”

(That job didn’t work out; she sent me home and never invited me back. I can’t help but wonder if the problem was the face that I made.)

Should Have Espresso’d It Clearer, Part 3

| Democratic Republic Of Congo | Employees, Food & Drink

(My family are South African and English is our first language. My uncle does a lot of travelling through the African continent for work, and has loads of entertaining stories about his travels. English is not widely spoken in some parts of Africa, and this story is a perfect example of that. Note that in South Africa, we use the term ‘waiter’ or ‘waitress’, and not ‘server.’)

Uncle: “Good morning. May I have an espresso, please?”

Waiter: “Of course, sir, I’ll be right out with that.”

(About five minutes later, the waiter comes out with a tray containing a normal coffee pot, cup, saucer, teaspoon, jug of milk, etc., all the things you expect to see when you’ve ordered a normal filter coffee.)

Uncle: “Sorry, I think you may not have understood me. This is a filter coffee, but I wanted to actually have an espresso, please. See, here it is on the menu.” *points to item on menu*

Waiter: *blank look*

Uncle: “Okay, so it is coffee as well, but an espresso is strong coffee that you put in a small cup—”  *tries to motion the size with his hands* “—and you have it with a glass of water.”

Waiter: “Oh, yes, sir, now I understand. I’m so sorry about that! Please give me one minute to fix it for you.”

(The waiter then left the table without taking the filter coffee with him. My uncle, perplexed, sat back and waited to see what happened and whether he did understand. To his absolute amusement, the waiter brought back a small cup and a glass of water. He then proceeded to take the coffee pot with the filter coffee and pour it into the small cup. The waiter, very happy with himself, gave him a huge smile and then wandered off. My uncle just drank the filter coffee.)

Should Have Espresso’d It Clearer, Part 2
Should Have Espresso’d It Clearer

Not So Hasty With The Pastry

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(During rehearsal for a play we get a lunch break, and a few friends and I go over to a nearby cafe for lunch. I go to this cafe often and am friendly with most of the employees. I often joke around with Employee #2, but Employee #1 is new. I am in front of my friends in line:)

Me: “Hi, can I have a ham and cheese croissant and an iced tea?”

Employee #1: “Sure, that will be $2.99.”

(I pay and get my drink, then go sit down. My friend orders and joins me. A little later, she is called to get her food. I go up to see where my food is.)

Employee #2: *jokingly* “What do you want now?”

Me: “I ordered a ham and cheese croissant?”

Employee #2: *to Employee #1* “Did she have a croissant?”

Employee #1: “Umm…”

Employee #2: *sighs* “Go make that now.”

(A little later:)

Employee #2: “[My Name], here’s your food!” *holds out a plain croissant*

Me: “Umm.”

Employee #2: “It’s the wrong one, isn’t it?”

Me: “Sorry, it was ham and cheese.”

Employee #2: “Fine.”

(He goes to make it himself. Meanwhile, I have finished my drink, and go up to the counter to get another one.)

Employee #1: “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Me: “I’m not, but can I have another iced tea?”

(I paid again and got my drink. By this time the right food was finally ready, but our break was already over, so I ended up having to eat in between my scenes.)

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