Nuts About Secrecy

| UK | Food & Drink

(A local cafe which makes all of its dishes from scratch is offering “luxury cheese on toast” as a special. Being allergic to nuts, I ask what the ingredients were.)

Cashier: “It’s a secret!”

Me: “Okay, but I need to know the ingredients.”

Cashier: “It’s a secret recipe, but it’s very nice.”

Me: “I can’t eat nuts. Can you tell me if it has nuts in the recipe?”

Cashier: “It’s cheese on toast. I wouldn’t think it would have nuts. It’s been a very good seller. Lots of people have given us good feedback.”

Me: “I’m sure, but can you tell me for sure if there are any nuts or nut oils used in it?”

Cashier: “I don’t have the recipe; it’s secret. But I don’t think it has nuts.”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “…”

Me: “I’ll just have a coffee.”


Time For Her To Reverse On Out Of There

| MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Job Seekers, Transportation

(I’m a manager at a very busy cafe. One day I head over to the restaurant for work. On my way there, a woman nearly hits me while changing lanes without using her blinker. I slam my brakes and lay on my horn, but she doesn’t even acknowledge the accident she almost started. She proceeds to cut off four other people, again without a blinker and without any room for her car to even go. She’s headed in the same direction as I am. When we turn off to the same shopping center, she pulls in front of another store, nearly hitting a pedestrian. While she’s not in front of me, I manage to get a look at her face. I go in the cafe and start setting up. An hour later, the same woman comes into the cafe.)

Insane Woman: *to the host* “HEY. I need to talk to the manager.”

Host: “Sure thing. What did you need to see the manager for? I can let him know when I tell him that you’d like to see him.”

Insane Woman: “None of your god-d*** business. Go get your manager.”

Host: *shocked* “Uh, okay.”

(The host comes to get me and tells me that there’s a woman to see me and that she appears to be angry. I ask what the problem was and the host, of course, doesn’t know. He mentions that she has just walked in.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how can I help you?”

(At this point, I recognize her from this morning)

Insane Woman: “I want a job application.”

Me: *trying not to laugh in disgust* “Oh, really? What makes you want to work here?”

Insane Woman: “Is that really any of your business?”

Me: “Considering that I do the hiring, yes.”

Insane Woman: “Does this place pay well? Also, I don’t work weekends.”

Me: *trying to contain myself* “I don’t think this would be a good fit for you.”

Insane Woman: *glaring* “Uh… WHY?”

Me: “Well, first, your attitude is sour and our cafe is known for its friendly staff. Second, your insane driving habits would be extremely off-putting to anyone who knew you worked here.”

Insane Woman: “How would YOU know how I drive?!”

Me: “Because you almost hit me this morning when you cut me off.”

Insane Woman: *silent*

Me: “You then almost hit four other cars and when you pulled into this shopping center about an hour ago, you nearly hit a pedestrian.”

Insane Woman: *rolls her eyes*

Me: “I sincerely hope you go home and work on your attitude some more. Being rude is one thing; causing physical danger to the people around you, though, is absolutely unforgivable. Have a nice day.”

Insane Woman: “Where’s the job application I asked for?”

Me: *thinking: has she even been listening?* “Have a nice day.”

(I walked away and she just stood there for a minute before leaving.)


Disordering System

| Germany | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

(I have a part-time job next to a college as head of the kitchen in a cafe. One of my classmates is general manager of the cafe. The boss has no idea how the kitchen or cafe really works, but she keeps bringing in ‘ideas‘ or orders to change things up, which the manager and I then work into the regular schedules with a lot of planning. Sometimes we’re able to convince her to trust our judgement, but most of the time she argues that we’re just “students who don’t know better.” We also do at least five-ten hours additional office work and other things each week that are barely ever accounted for in our paychecks.)

Manager: “I spent two hours yesterday trying to make the order system work the way the boss wants it. It’s halfway there. All the waitresses have trouble with it, though.”

Me: “You’re gonna love it once we change from the popular muffin versions we have to the basic ones we sold two years ago. Boss wants to keep it simple‘.”

Manager: “Oh, god.”

(In that moment, the boss visits for the first time in a week.)

Boss: “Oh, by the way, I decided the order system doesn’t work that way. Change it to [even more complicated plan] by next week, okay?”

(She leaves before we can even discuss it. After a quick moan the manager turns to me with a huge grin on his face.)

Manager: “I cannot wait for the day you graduate college and quit to look for an apprenticeship. I’m gonna start taking bets on how long until the kitchen explodes. And that’s precisely when I’ll quit as well.”


A Disability Of Decency

| Hastings, East Sussex, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body, Popular

(My girlfriend and I have just become engaged so we decide to go have a weekend away to celebrate. My girlfriend has to use an electric chair as she is unable to walk long distances but gets very self conscious about it. It’s lunch time so we decide to go get something to eat in a cafe we are going past, and as we go through the door everyone stops and looks at us.)

Waitress: “Will she be staying in the chair?”

Me: *shocked* “First of all ‘she’ is disabled, not deaf. And second, that’s hardly a suitable greeting to a potential customer which you, my dear, have just lost out on with that remark. Goodbye.”

(We went to another cafe across the street and as we entered, everyone carried on like on like normal and the waitress talked to my girlfriend as if the chair wasn’t there.)


Being The Change You Want To See In The World

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Money

Cashier: “Your order is $8.93.”

Me: *gives the cashier $10.03; a ten and three pennies*

Cashier: *with emphasis this time* “Your order is $8.93.”

Me: *looks at what I gave her, counts it up in my head again, and decides that it was correct* “That is correct.”

(The cashier sets the pennies down, opens the cash drawer, puts in the ten, and takes out a dollar bill plus seven cents. They then pick up the three original cents and hand all of it to me.)

Me: *stunned* “Actually, can you exchange this ten cents for a dime?”

Cashier: “Sure.”

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