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Should Have Espresso’d It Clearer, Part 3

| Democratic Republic Of Congo | Employees, Food & Drink

(My family are South African and English is our first language. My uncle does a lot of travelling through the African continent for work, and has loads of entertaining stories about his travels. English is not widely spoken in some parts of Africa, and this story is a perfect example of that. Note that in South Africa, we use the term ‘waiter’ or ‘waitress’, and not ‘server.’)

Uncle: “Good morning. May I have an espresso, please?”

Waiter: “Of course, sir, I’ll be right out with that.”

(About five minutes later, the waiter comes out with a tray containing a normal coffee pot, cup, saucer, teaspoon, jug of milk, etc., all the things you expect to see when you’ve ordered a normal filter coffee.)

Uncle: “Sorry, I think you may not have understood me. This is a filter coffee, but I wanted to actually have an espresso, please. See, here it is on the menu.” *points to item on menu*

Waiter: *blank look*

Uncle: “Okay, so it is coffee as well, but an espresso is strong coffee that you put in a small cup—”  *tries to motion the size with his hands* “—and you have it with a glass of water.”

Waiter: “Oh, yes, sir, now I understand. I’m so sorry about that! Please give me one minute to fix it for you.”

(The waiter then left the table without taking the filter coffee with him. My uncle, perplexed, sat back and waited to see what happened and whether he did understand. To his absolute amusement, the waiter brought back a small cup and a glass of water. He then proceeded to take the coffee pot with the filter coffee and pour it into the small cup. The waiter, very happy with himself, gave him a huge smile and then wandered off. My uncle just drank the filter coffee.)

Related:
Should Have Espresso’d It Clearer, Part 2
Should Have Espresso’d It Clearer

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Not So Hasty With The Pastry

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(During rehearsal for a play we get a lunch break, and a few friends and I go over to a nearby cafe for lunch. I go to this cafe often and am friendly with most of the employees. I often joke around with Employee #2, but Employee #1 is new. I am in front of my friends in line:)

Me: “Hi, can I have a ham and cheese croissant and an iced tea?”

Employee #1: “Sure, that will be $2.99.”

(I pay and get my drink, then go sit down. My friend orders and joins me. A little later, she is called to get her food. I go up to see where my food is.)

Employee #2: *jokingly* “What do you want now?”

Me: “I ordered a ham and cheese croissant?”

Employee #2: *to Employee #1* “Did she have a croissant?”

Employee #1: “Umm…”

Employee #2: *sighs* “Go make that now.”

(A little later:)

Employee #2: “[My Name], here’s your food!” *holds out a plain croissant*

Me: “Umm.”

Employee #2: “It’s the wrong one, isn’t it?”

Me: “Sorry, it was ham and cheese.”

Employee #2: “Fine.”

(He goes to make it himself. Meanwhile, I have finished my drink, and go up to the counter to get another one.)

Employee #1: “Please don’t be mad at me.”

Me: “I’m not, but can I have another iced tea?”

(I paid again and got my drink. By this time the right food was finally ready, but our break was already over, so I ended up having to eat in between my scenes.)

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The Leg Bone Is Connected To The Wing Bone

| CO, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

(I’m on my lunch break and head to the cafeteria that services the office where I work. Today’s special is barbecue chicken, which is rotisserie chicken which has been quartered, and the sign says you can select either dark or light meat. The employee who is manning the station is new.)

Me: “I’ll have a dark quarter and two sides, please.”

(The employee picks up a piece with the wing attached.)

Me: “No, dark meat, please; a leg quarter.”

Employee: “This one?”

(She has selected a different piece, also with a wing.)

Me: “No, the leg, please.”

Employee: *picking up a third piece, also wrong* “How about this one?”

Me: “I want one with the leg, please. How about that one.” *pointing to a leg quarter*

Employee: “Oh, I didn’t know there was a difference!”

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No Booze During Your Snooze

| New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

(I’m working as a barista at a well-known coffee chain. My coworker is at the register and is serving one of our regular customers when this exchange happens.)

Coworker: “Your total comes to [amount]. Was there anything else we can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I get an extra shot of ‘will to live’ in my coffee?”

Coworker: “Sorry, sir, we don’t serve alcohol before 11 am.”

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Not Even Sugar-Coating It

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I need to reduce my sugar intake for health reasons and was looking at drink options in a café. I didn’t want a hot drink, so I was looking at the cans available, all behind a glass counter where customers couldn’t reach one. I wanted to check whether a supposed “health” drink was high in sugar.)

Me: “Hi. Do you mind if I check the nutrition information on [“Health” Drink]?”

(The guy behind the counter gets the can in question and immediately opens it and pours the drink into a glass.)

Me: “Apparently not, then.”

Guy: “What?”

Me: “I asked to see the nutrition information.”

(The guy looks annoyed and hands me the can. The drink has a ridiculous amount of sugar in it.)

Guy: “That’s [price].”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t drink this.”

Guy: “You ordered it. You need to pay for it.”

Me: “I didn’t order it. I asked to look at the nutrition information to see if I wanted to order it but I can’t drink this because it has over 30g of sugar in this can.”

Guy: “Like you care about eating sugar, fat b****.”

(That’s when I walked out.)

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