Lottery And Petty And Cash, Oh My!

| USA | Math & Science, Money

(Our drawers only start with $75 in them. One of my first customers of the day gets a cash return for $63. I borrow the money from the store’s petty cash and put a note to pay it back when I have more bills in my drawer. Not long after that, somebody goes through the money transfer process and receives $100, which I also borrow from petty. About an hour and zero customers later, I’ve finished counting down the morning drawers and swapping out their smaller bills for any twenties, fifties or hundreds. The largest denomination left in my drawer or petty is tens. Almost immediately after, a man in his early 20s comes to my counter.)

Customer: “I’d like to cash this check, please!” *hands me a $362 check*

Me: *inwardly panics as the acting manager walks in. Our check cashing fee is hefty and usually a deterrent* “Um, the fee is two percent of the check. Is that okay?”

Customer: *cheerfully* “Oh, yeah, it’s always like five or seven bucks.”

Manager: *knows what I’ve been through at this point* “Can you borrow again?”

Me: “There’s no big bills left in petty; they’re all in the night deposit.”

Manager: “Hmm… let me check the lottery machine.”

(We have a machine on the floor across from us where people can buy scratch-offs or instant tickets. She empties the machine while I awkwardly stand there with the customer. She counts the smaller-than-hoped amount.)

Manager: “Only $258. You’ll have to borrow $100 from petty and take the difference from your drawer.”

(Eventually I get it straightened out and by the end of the night, everything is even. The next day, a different manager is working, and trying to piece together a weekly lottery audit he isn’t totally familiar with.)

Day Manager: “Hey, do you know by chance just how much money [Manager] pulled out of the lottery machine last night?”

Me: *in the process of helping a customer* “$258.”

Day Manager: “$258…?”

Me: *nods, finishing up with that customer*

Day Manager: *stares for a second and then laughs* “Okay, RAIN MAN.”

Me: “Hey, if you had to pull cash from three different places for ONE transaction, you’d remember, too!”


Scratch That Whole Year Off

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

(I am trying to buy a scratch ticket and because I look my age I’m often asked for my ID. Because I got my driver’s license before I turned 19, it says on the license of the year I turned 19.)

Cashier: “So you’re not 19 until April…”

Me: *confused* “No, I’m 20 in…”

Cashier: *confused look*

Me: “I was born in 1996.”

Cashier: “S***, forgot it’s 2016.”

(So not only did she get my birth month wrong, but also the year, and the fact I needed to be only 18 to buy a scratch ticket. Impressive.)


Having An ‘Off’ Day

, | Wisconsin Dells, WI, USA | Coworkers

(I start out at my job working night shift for about two weeks and love it. Then I get switched to day shift out of the blue, but it’s understandable because there is only one other day shift clerk. Last week, the manager randomly has me on schedule for a closing shift. There are light switches under the counter for the inside of the store and the outside, like the lights for the gas pumps so people can see. There is one switch that you are never supposed to turn off, but the note is between it and the one above it and since it has been so long since I worked night shift, I forget which one it is and I shut off the bottom one. My coworker (who has trained me) happens to be looking outside at our big light up sign and digital marquee and notices something I don’t.)

Coworker: “Um, did you turn off that switch we’re never supposed to turn off?”

Me: “I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I couldn’t remember which one the note is for because it’s directly in between. Why?”

Coworker: “Oh, no reason. Just turn it back on.”

Me: “What’s it for?”

Coworker: “Well, I’m not entirely sure because I haven’t turned that one off yet…” *turns it back on* “…but I think it’s the sign.”

Me: “What?!” *stands up in time to see sign turn back on* “Umm…”

Coworker: “I think it should be fine as long as no one noticed.”

(Thankfully, after a few seconds of gibberish, the sign went back to advertising just as it had before. But what coworker said was still on my mind, as she is known for making mistakes and has broken things no one thought was possible to break.)

Me: “I love how you said ‘I haven’t shut that one off YET,’ like ‘oh, I haven’t f***ed up in that way quite yet.’”

Coworker: *laughing* “Yeah, because I’ve been too busy finding other ways to f*** up and breaking other things.”


Put That In Your Pipe And Drink It

| Portland, OR, USA | Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(The difference in age for buying cigarettes and alcohol is three years, and I am 19 at this time, I had a lot of issues because of it, but this one was the funniest.)

Me: “May I get [pack of Cigarettes]?”

Worker: “Do you have ID?”

Me: “Yes, I do.” *hands her ID*

Worker: “This says you’re under 21.”

Me: “I am.”

Worker: “Then, why would I sell to you?”

Me: “Those are cigarettes, not alcohol.”

Worker: “Oh, oops.”


Playing The Irony Card

| WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Job Seekers

(I am standing in line while the person in front of my is asking about the job offering. I didn’t catch the whole conversation.)

Cashier: “Yeah, probably the most important part of the job is making sure you card.”

Customer: “Oh, of course. I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.”

Cashier: “Wait, we are only hiring people over 21. Are you old enough?”

Customer: “Well, you did just sell me beer, so I hope so.”

(Cue a laugh from everyone in earshot.)