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Always Wanted To Be The Meat Between Two Buns

| WI, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(My boyfriend and I go to grab food from a well known fast food chain. We usually have our order figured out, but my eye catches a new item on their menu as we roll up to the speaker.)

Cashier: “Hi, welcome to [Chain]. How can I help you today?”

Me: *long silence*

Cashier: “…Hello?”

Me: “Oh, sorry. I was a bit speechless. I just saw this bacon three-way burger.”

Cashier: “Yeah, most people are. Just let me know when you’re ready to order, and don’t forget to breathe!”

Boyfriend: “Did he just…?”

Me: “Remind me to breathe? Yes. Yes, he did.”

(We ordered. I did indeed get that burger, and the cashier was really cool and wished us to enjoy the three-way. He was awesome.)

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A Wait-y Reward

| CA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Non-Dialogue, Time

I order in the drive-thru of a burger place. I find out it’s only two coupons per car, so I tell the lady working that I’ll be driving through again. When I get to the window and pay, she asks me to park in the parking lot to wait for my food. I agree and park.

I’m looking at stuff on my phone for a bit when she comes out to give someone else their order. When she sees me she asks “You haven’t gotten your food yet?” I say no and she leaves to check on my food. When she comes back she says it’ll only be a little bit and asks for the other coupon. I show it to her and she tells me that it’ll be free for the long wait.

When I arrive home with the food, I realize she upgraded the small fries of the last coupon to a large and added a Snickers pie.

I don’t know how long I waited for, but I’m sure it wasn’t for as long as she seemed to think it was.

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A Combo Of Errors

| Shawnee, KS, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(It’s the weekend and my mom and I are at home while Dad is checking on something at his job. My mom decides to go to a burger drive-thru place to get some lunch.)

Worker #1: “Hello! What can I get you?”

Mom: “Hi, I’d like a #2 combo with nothing on it, and a cheeseburger.”

Worker #1: “So.. two [wrong order] combos?”

Mom: “No, a #2 combo with nothing on it, and just a cheeseburger.”

Worker #1: “Okay, hold on.”

(There’s some shuffling in the background as my mom waits.)

Worker #2: “Okay, what can I get for you today?”

Mom: “A #2 combo with nothing on the cheeseburger and a normal cheeseburger.”

Worker #2: “So, two #2 combos?”

Mom: “No, only one #2 combos, and there’s nothing on that. The other is just a cheeseburger.”

Worker #2: “Okay, I think I got it. That’ll be [total].”

(When she got home, they had given us two combos, but not charged us for them. I opened my burger, to discover a single piece of onion.)

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Your Clumsiness Is In Pole Position

| CA, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body

(I tend to be a fast walker and also rather clumsy; usually I drop things or bump into things. I’m an average sized woman who does not own a lick of makeup. On this particular occasion my boyfriend, an over six foot tall military veteran who lives out of town, is down for a visit which I’ve been excitedly babbling about to my coworkers. Just after parking the car I’m looking at him with those sappy, lovey dovey eyes while walking around the car and walk right into a pole. Because I was looking at him the pole hit the side of my face, causing my glasses bridge to punch right where eye socket meets nose. Needless to say I have a pretty nasty bruise on the side of my face and a black eye. This conversation happens several times, almost verbatim, at work.)

Coworker: “Oh, my gosh, [My Name]! What happened to your face?!”

Me: “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and walked right into a pole.”

Coworker: *looks me over, then gets real close to talk more quietly* “It’s okay, you can tell me the truth.”

Me: “[Coworker], this is me we’re talking about.”

Coworker: “Yeah… you would walk face first into a pole.”

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They Were Just Wingin’ It

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I like buffalo wings, a lot. This fast food place has a 12-piece, 24-piece, and 48-piece options. I order 36 wings. The kid rings me up and tells me the price, which seems awfully high according to the board prices above and behind him.)

Me: “Why so much?”

Cashier: “We don’t have a 36-piece option, so I charged you for the 48.”

Me: “But you DO have a 24-piece option, and a 12-piece option. Doesn’t that make 36 total?”

(He stared at me a minute, then canceled the order and redid it, all without a word.)