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Well, They Got One Thing Right

, | Gresham, OR, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I pull up to the drive-thru to grab a soda and a snack after a stressful afternoon.)

Me: “Hi, can I get a large Diet [Soda] with lemon, no ice, please.”

Employee: “Do you want the lemon flavoring or a slice of lemon?”

Me: “Lemon flavoring, please.”

Employee: “Okay, so that was a large [Soda], with lemon, not Diet, right?”

Me: “Um, no. A large Diet [Soda], with lemon flavoring, no ice, please.”

Employee: “Okay. A large… Diet [Soda] with lemon, anything else?”

Me: “No ice in the drink, please, and a large french fry.”

Employee: “Okay. I’ll have that at the window.”

(I pull up and we have the cash exchange, and she hands me a bag of fries and my drink.)

Employee: “Oh, wait. I gave you [Soda], not Diet.”

(I try to return the drink to her.)

Employee: “Do you want to just, like, keep it?”

Me: “Umm, sure.” *even though I hate regular [Soda]*

Employee: *as she is passing the new drink out the window* “Here’s your large DIET [Soda] with lemon.”

Me: *noticing it has ice in it* “Um, it has ice. It was supposed to be no ice.”

Employee: *smiling proudly* “Yeah, but it’s DIET.”

Me: “But it was supposed to be no ice.”

Employee: *blank stare*

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Plainly Not Explaining Plainly Enough

, | UK | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am in a well-known burger chain restaurant ordering a take-out meal.)

Me: “A quarter-pounder with cheese medium meal, with fries and [Soda], and can the burger be plain, please?”

Cashier: “Do you want cheese on that?”

Me: “Yes, but nothing else, plain with just cheese.”

Cashier: “Would you like the meal?”

Me: “Yes, medium meal with fries and [Soda].”

Cashier: “What side would you like?”

Me: “Fries. And [Soda].”

Cashier: “Drink?”

Me: “[Soda]!”

Cashier: “Okay. So that’s a quarter-pounder with cheese, fries and a [Soda].”

Me: Please make sure the burger is plain, no ketchup or anything else.”

Cashier: “Right, plain. You should have said.” *to the cooks* “That order I just did for a quarter-pounder needs to be PLAIN.” *to me* “That will be just a few minutes.”

(Five minutes later she handed me my meal. I had large fries, a plain quarter-pounder with just meat, and a quarter-pounder with cheese and all toppings. Well, she tried.)

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How To Order Disorder

| England, UK | Language & Words

(After a rough night and only a few hours sleep I decide to pick up a snack from a fast food chain at lunch, and order a box of fries and chicken bits. I then discover they’ve implemented this new system where you are handed a number, when it’s called you show your receipt and get your food. For this relatively small restaurant this is surprising as it’s only really efficient in big busy chains. I am handed my number and step to the side. A few moments later a box is dropped in from the kitchen, which I assume is mine, but before I can move a second server picks it up and sets it in front of someone who has just walked into the restaurant and up to the counter, offering him condiments and putting in a sachet of barbecue sauce.)

Server #1: *calling over* “That’s not his!”

(Again I assume it is mine, as it’s not busy and it’s a simple order, so I go to step forward until.)

Server #2: “Taih-un taitair? Taihun taitair?”

(I stand there bewildered for a few seconds as she repeats the phrase, until I realise she’s calling the number on my receipt ‘3133’ – finally I walk up and receive my order.)

Server #2: *in perfect English* “Sorry, he stepped forward so I assumed it was his.”

(I walked out a bit dazed by the experience.)

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You Want The New Burger? Fancy That!

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive

(I am going through the drive-thru to pick up a [New Fancy Burger] that has just been released.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Restaurant. Would you like to try a [New Fancy Burger] today?”

Me: “Yes, just the sandwich.”

Employee: “What can I get for you today?”

Me: “A [New Fancy Burger], just the sandwich.”

Employee: “Yes, we have [New Fancy Burger].”

Me: “Good, I’ll take one.”

Employee: “What can I get for you today?”

Me: “[New Fancy Burger].”

Employee: “Wait, you want a [New Fancy Burger]?”

Me: *face-palming* “Yes, PLEASE!”

Employee: “Oh, okay. That’s one [Not New Fancy Burger] and did you want to try a [New Fancy Burger] today?”

Me: “Never mind.”

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It Would Be Cents-less To Stay And Argue

| UT, USA | At The Checkout, Ignoring & Inattentive

(This restaurant doesn’t have a drive-thru window; you order at the speaker, then pull up to the curb and wait for an employee to walk out to your car. I order a drink and pull up to wait, and wait, as a line builds up behind me. Several minutes later an employee emerges and walks up to me with a tray of drinks.)

Employee: “So you had the cup of ice and the chocolate shake?”

Me: “Um, no, I had a lemonade…”

Employee: “Oh, sorry. Hold on.”

(She goes to the car behind me and gives them the drinks, then disappears inside the building again for several more minutes before returning.)

Employee: “Okay, here’s your lemonade. That’s $2.58.”

(I hand her $3.08 – three dollar bills, a nickel, and three pennies.)

Employee: “So, uh, that’s… a dollar back?”

Me: “…fifty cents?”

(She nods and walks a short distance away to fuss with her change belt, then returns.)

Her: “Oh, sorry, I hope you’re okay without a receipt because it just blew away in the wind…”

(Before I can respond she drops an assortment of coins in my hand and wanders off back into the building. By that point it had been about fifteen minutes so I was just glad to have my drink and be gone, but I later counted and it was fifty cents… in pennies and nickels.)