No Knives Over The Chives

| USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(My sister and I go out to dinner at a fast food chain. It’s almost empty, save for us and a small family. My sister gets a baked potato as a side. When we get our food, the cashier notices something.)

Cashier: “Oh, s***! There’s no chives!”

Sister: “Oh, that’s fine. I don’t really care for them.”

Cashier: “What? Are you sure? We can get you something else if you want.”

Sister: “Nah, it’s not a big deal. It’s fine how it is.”

Cashier: “All right, uh, okay. Usually people throw a fit about this stuff.”

Sister: “Oh yeah, I used to work at [Other Chain]. We got them all the time.”

(The cashier insisted on refunding half my sister’s food, but she refused to accept it.)

Po’boy Oh Boy

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

(I head through the drive through of a popular fast food chain that serves fried chicken, and other items.)

Me: “I’ll take a shrimp po’boy with fries and a Dr. Pepper.”

Worker: “And would you like to add a drink for a dollar? Oh, ha. Right, yes?”

Me: “…Yes.”

Worker: “Spicy or mild?”

(I’ve never been asked this for a shrimp po’boy before.)

Me: “Um… mild.”

Worker: “And what side?”

Me: “Fries…”

Worker: “All right, and what flavor drink?”

Me: “Dr. Pepper…”

Worker: “Okay, drive forward!”

(When I get to the window:)

Me: “That’s for the shrimp po’boy, right?”

Worker: “Oh, yes, I’ll add that!”

(Thankfully I got my order correctly.)

Salesmanship Battles Are Best To Hug It Out

| OH, USA |

(My store has a promotion where if you donate a dollar to a charity, you get a coupon book for ice-cream. Because a lot of my coworkers don’t even attempt to sell the books, the store owner is giving prizes to the person who sells the most. The previous night, I sold 70 books, which put me past the total of my coworker, who is an older lady. The next day, she stands by my till.)

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name].” *hugs me and starts crying*

Me: *shocked* “What’s wrong?”

Coworker: “Your total is higher than mine!”

Me: “…Are you trying to get my salesmanship to rub off onto you?”

Coworker: “Is it working?”

Me: “Maybe.”

A Smooth Operator

, | Oakville, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink, New Hires

(After work I go to get a cookie and a smoothie.)

Me: “Hi, can get a [cookie] and a strawberry banana smoothie, please?”

Employee: *throws her arms up in the air* “YAY!” *turns to the new guy she’s training* “YOU get to make a smoothie!” *turns to me* “I’ve been waiting all day for somebody to order one!”

Me: *amused but somewhat at a loss* “Um… glad I could help with that?”

(The new guy made a good smoothie!)

Weight Gain Equals Job Loss

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I have always been on the small side. At this time I had just gotten over the flu, and so I was a bit skinnier than I normally am. I was really craving a chicken sandwich, so I decided to get one.)

Me: “Can I get a chicken sandwich with no lettuce and no mayo, but add tomatoes? And a small diet coke.”

Worker: “No.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Worker: “I’ll get you a large regular coke and a cheeseburger, because you need to gain weight, anorexic freak.”