My workplace bought a ton of computers. If you do that, you get perhaps a 10-15% discount off the top. They also, as a perk to employees, cooperated with [Computer Company] to let employees order laptops with the same discount. This was a program [Computer Company] offered.

I bought a $3,000 [Computer Company] laptop through this program. My card was charged, the laptop arrived a week later, and all was good.

A month later, I got an email from [Computer Company] apologizing for the shipment delay and refunding the purchase. In a fit of honesty, I called the support for the employee purchase program and said:

Me: “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I have the laptop on my desk.”

Employee: “Well, you’re going to have to call some other caseworker…”

And blah, blah, blah.

Me: “I’m not doing that. While I was prepared to be honest, I absolutely am not going to spend a ton of time on the phone attempting to straighten out your f***-up. You have a one-time offer, for the next ten minutes, to get this straightened out.”

My free laptop was awesome.

I used to be the single father of a beautiful little boy. His mother, my ex, had been declared unfit to be a parent due to mental instabilities. While it was definitely healthier for both of us, there was the significant problem of not having the best salary in the world. While rent wasn’t a problem (thanks, Mom and Dad), getting dangerously close to debt at the end of the month wasn’t all too uncommon. As such, I started to heavily coupon and generally shop thriftily.

One time, I was picking groceries up. Due to an expired coupon I had forgotten to discard, the total was coming far ahead of my budgeting, and I had to point this out to the cashier. After a desperate attempt to reduce my total, I just let it go.

However, the man behind me spoke up.

Customer: “Are you willing to let me pay for your groceries? You are clearly in a rough spot.”

I was about to accept, but the cashier interrupted me.

Cashier: *To the other customer* “Go away! Stop showing off and being a [homophobic insult] obese spendthrift.”

I was taken aback and tried to insist that, yes, I wanted this man to be generous to me, but the cashier refused.

Cashier: “Don’t rely on the charity of some ball of lard!”

The man moved to another cash register, but not before flipping the bird to the cashier. I tried to follow him, but the cashier insisted that, since half my shopping had already been scanned, I had to continue being in her lane. I was honestly unsure whether to cry in rage or flip my lid at the cashier.

In the end, I told her:

Me: “Honestly, after this treatment, I don’t want anything from this store.”

I left empty-handed to go shop somewhere else instead, only to discover that all of my other options had already closed for the day.

Even now that I don’t need to pay attention to budgeting as much, being denied free groceries because of one cashier’s behavior still hurts me deep in my soul. I hope that cashier received the same treatment when in need herself.

I overheard this interaction at a coffee shop.

Customer: “Can I get the [sandwich]? No cheese.”

Cashier: “What kind?”

Customer: “What kind of what?”

Cashier: “We have white cheddar, Swiss, provolone, and pepper jack.”

Customer: “I said I didn’t want cheese on it.”

Cashier: “But what kind?”

Customer: “No cheese at all.”

Cashier: *Becoming flustered* “I understand that, ma’am, but I still have to put into the computer what kind of cheese you’re not getting.”

Related:
A Fun Twist On “Cheeseburger With No Cheese”

One time when I was in college, my roommates were ordering Chinese food. At the time, I was pretty convinced that I didn’t like Chinese food because I had had it twice and it was very subpar and bland. (It ended up being that I had just had bad places.)

I had a Thai aunt who made delicious dishes at family gatherings, but I didn’t know what any of them were. I knew my favorite was a very spicy chicken. (She used to joke that she was trying to make it so spicy to kill my stepdad because he always said it was never spicy enough.)

So, when I was asked what I wanted, I asked them:

Me: “Can they make chicken that will burn my face off?”

The restaurant complied, and it was delicious. And it led to me trying Chinese food at various places and finding out that I did, in fact, like Chinese food from good Chinese places, and it did not have to burn my face off.

One of our new hires is pouring a shot of tequila into a glass of milk, and I have to stop and ask about it.

Me: “What is that?!“

New Starter: “The customer asked for a tequila and milk.”

Me: “Seriously?”

New Starter: “Is that weird?”

Me: “It’s not… normal.”

Intrigued, I follow the new starter and the odd drink over to the customer.

New Starter: “Your tequila and milk, sir.”

The customer starts cracking up.

Customer: “I said, ‘Tia Maria and milk’.”

Tia Maria is a coffee liqueur. I start laughing, too, and the new starter looks confused.

New Starter: “I thought he said ‘tequila’.”

Customer: *Takes a sip* “This isn’t terrible, though, so I’ll have this, too!”

I got him the correct drink and just charged him for a glass of milk for being a good sport.