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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Weeding Himself Out

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal

    (We’re having an employee screening for a movie when a coworker steps out for a few minutes then comes back with a very distinct odor. A minute later, the manager walks up behind him.)

    Manager: *dope-slaps the coworker* “Don’t smoke weed in the hallway!”

    (The rest of us couldn’t stop laughing after that.)

    Belongs In The Car Fool Lane

    | USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My work is only a 10-minute walk from home. On the walk to work I pass a gas station with a small convenience section. I call in one day on the way into work to pick up some milk and a breakfast snack. I go to the counter to pay.)

    Me: “Just this, please.”

    Cashier #1: “What pump?”

    Me: “I haven’t pumped gas; I just want to buy the milk and snack.”

    Cashier #1: “Lady, I’m not an idiot, and I WILL call the Police if you leave without paying for what you pumped!”

    Me: “I WALKED HERE! Look outside, there are NO cars parked in the forecourt!”

    Cashier #1: “Well, you probably pumped and drove off round the corner when I was on the phone!”

    Me: “Are you crazy?! Check the CCTV, or check your system; it will show I have not pulled up in a car, or pumped anything.”

    (By this time, the shouting has drawn the attention of another cashier, thankfully who I had seen plenty of times before and who I knew well enough to exchange pleasantries with.)

    Cashier #2: “[Cashier #1], what are you doing?”

    Cashier #1: “This THIEF is trying to scam us out of paying her fuel!”

    Cashier #2: “No, she works in the building next door. She comes in all the time; if you paid attention you’d know that.”

    (She then rang me up for my items and I walked out the door, through the forecourt and round the corner to my office. As I rounded the corner, I looked back to see Cashier #1 still watching me as I walked to make sure I don’t have a secret car hidden round ‘the corner.’ At least it woke me up for the day!)

    Clocked Off For Good

    | MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Time

    (I manage the college campus coffee shop. One day, I notice one of the student workers going into the back room, where the time clock is located. She leaves moments later. Since she isn’t due to work that morning, I am curious, and I look at her time card. She has clocked in and left. I look back at past weeks, and determine that she had been clocking a few hours prior to most of her shifts for almost a month. I pull her time card, and leave a note for her to come see me.)

    Employee: “Hey, what’s up? I couldn’t find my time card, and your note didn’t say.”

    Me: “You clocked in a few hours ago, and then left.”

    Employee: “…and?”

    Me: “You falsified your record of hours worked, which constitutes fraud and theft. Since this has been going on for a month, the amount you’ve stolen is enough to count as a felony.”

    Employee: “Oh. So… is that a problem? I was short on money, and thought I’d get some extra hours.”

    Me: “Extra hours that you didn’t work?”

    Employee: “Yeah!”

    Me: “And you don’t see why that’s a problem?”

    Employee: “No, why?”

    Me: “Then you’re REALLY not going to expect what’s coming next.”

    (Since I’m a big softy, I just fired her, and didn’t bring the police into it.)

    Wine Dine Crime

    | New Zealand | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I’ve been a qualified sommelier for about 10 years and have been working in hospitality for 20. I’m visiting my family in New Zealand and decide to pop into a well regarded new wine bar one evening before dinner. I’m sitting at the bar, looking at the list.)

    Me: “I’ve never seen [Very Rare Wine] on a wine list before! I was under the impression there were only three bottles left in the world and they were all privately owned.”

    Bartender: *whispering* “Don’t get it!”

    Me: “Uh…sorry?”

    Bartender: *whispering* “Don’t bother mate. It’s not real.”

    (I can’t work out why he’s whispering because I’m the only one inside.)

    Me: “What do you mean it’s not real?”

    Bartender: “The owner, she thinks it looks good to have something like that on the menu. So she just got labels made to put over other bottles of wine. Now I have to put up with people asking how we got our hands on a whole case of them! What am I supposed to say, huh? And she actually expects me to sell them. Like no one will notice it’s a $10 bottle of plonk!”

    (The ‘relabeled’ wine is in the thousands. I stick to a nice local red and when I’m leaving I hand him my card.)

    Me: “If you’re ever moving to Australia and need a job give me a call. Frankness and honesty are quite rare and you seem to have both qualities.”

    Bartender: “Wow, I’m so glad I told you. Sometimes I can’t be bothered, deterring customers. Have a good evening!”

    (He now works for me in Melbourne.)

    Not Faking Their Hatred For The Job

    | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m looking around in a gas station when a clearly underage teenager tries to buy beer.)

    Cashier: “ID, please.”

    Teen: “Here you go.” *handing over an ID*

    (The cashier looks at it for a second before throwing it down on the counter.)

    Cashier: “Hey, man, this s***’s fake!”

    (The teen turns white as a sheet.)

    Teen: “Wh… what?”

    Cashier: “You heard me! This s*** is fake! But I don’t give a f***. I hate my job.” *rings up the beer and hands the change over to the teenager* “Have a nice day, kid!”


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