Taxation Without Education
I am discussing something with my manager when one of our new starters, an eighteen-year-old man who started working here last month, interrupts us.
New Starter: “There’s a mistake in my paycheck. I didn’t agree to pay taxes.”
My manager and I stare at each other for a moment. Once we’ve confirmed that we did, in fact, both just hear what we thought we heard, my manager turns to him.
Manager: “What do you mean by not agreeing to pay taxes?”
New Starter: “I’d rather not do the whole tax thing, thanks. Do I need to opt out, or is there something I need to do?”
Manager: “You can’t just ‘opt out’ of taxes. If you’re a citizen of this country and you work, you pay taxes.”
New Starter: “But… I don’t want to.”
Manager: “Well, that’s unfortunate.”
New Starter: “But… it’s my money!”
Manager: “Well, it’s the government’s money now.”
New Starter: “No! I want it back! I didn’t agree to give the government my money!”
Manager: “If you work here, the taxes come out of your paycheck automatically. You agreed to that when you signed your contract to work here.”
New Starter: “No one reads all of that!”
Manager: “Be that as it may, you agreed to have a percentage of your paycheck be taxed. If you wanted to do your own taxes, you’d need to work for someone else who allows it or be self-employed. Outside of that, there’s nothing I can do.”
New Starter: “This is bulls***! I can’t be the only person who has complained about this!”
Manager: “Welcome to the real world, [New Starter]. The only constants are death and taxes.”
New Starter: “Wait… So, everyone pays tax? Like… every paycheck?”
Manager: “If they’re not, they’re breaking the law.”
New Starter: “This is bulls***!”
Manager: “How do you think the roads you drive on are maintained? Or the police get paid?”
New Starter: “Ugh! Well, I was against it before, but now I want to defund the police, too!”
He storms out.
Me: “Sadly, I’ve seen that happen when every person opens their paycheck in their first ‘grown-up job’.”
Manager: “They snoozed in history lessons at school about tossing that tea into the harbor, but as soon as they start working, they finally get it.”