I was grabbing lunch at a local diner near my work. As I went to pay, a man wearing a [Fast Food Chain] uniform arrived with a piece of paper in his hand.

Fast Food Worker: “Hi, I’m looking for [Person].”

Diner Worker: “Oh, he was fired yesterday.”

The [Fast Food Chain] worker looked surprised but tried to contain it.

Fast Food Worker: “Oh, really? What happened?”

Diner Worker: “He was caught misappropriating ingredients and drinks from [Diner], so he was laid off. Why are you looking for him?”

Fast Food Worker: *Looking embarrassed* “I was going to get some things… from him…”

The diner worker thought for a moment.

Diner Worker: “Wait… Was he misappropriating stuff… to you?”

Fast Food Worker: “Haha… Yeah…?”

The worker left in a hurry, and I’m still in shock they didn’t call the police then and there.

I worked in a thrift store, and we got a new store manager. She was a liability in nearly every way imaginable. Every single day, the store was littered with projects she would begin only to walk away from them and forget them about half an hour in, so our store would be full of half-assembled displays, tripping hazards, and collapse hazards. One metal rack did collapse with a crash, nearly injuring several customers and scaring nearly everyone on the floor. But if you dared to lay so much as a finger on [Store Manager]’s messes to try to make them better or safer, she would berate you for twenty minutes straight for messing with her “workflow.”

She decided that we were going to price items her way, and no other way was acceptable. So, I complied.

I came in to do my shift and signed in. [Store Manager] pounced on me as soon as the computer indicated that I was now On The Clock.

Store Manager: “So, [My Name], I wanted to talk to you about this…”

Me: *Silent sigh*

She walked over to a set of shelves behind the counter, where my higher-priced items were usually nestled. One particular purse brand had multiple shells that could be switched out, so you could have one purse, but a shell could make it red, blue, or any other color, depending on your attire for the evening. It wasn’t a high brand, but since it was an item with multiple accessories, I put them all together in a display to sell as a lot.

Store Manager: “You know, a lot of people wanted to see this, but when they saw that it was $5, they all decided they didn’t want it. They said $5 was too much for a purse that doesn’t have handles.”

Me: “[Store Manager], that’s a shell, not a purse. It’s a [Brand] shell. Remember that [Brand] clutch that had several different shells, and I sold them as a bundle? You told me that $10 for the lot wasn’t enough and you bumped it up to $25?”

Store Manager: “Well, they think $5 for the shell is too much.”

I held onto my temper as hard as I could. I had TOLD her that I had a year and a half of experience and that I knew what would sell, what wouldn’t sell, and what prices would get the product moving. She had given me a twenty-minute riot act about how it was now HER store and we were to do it HER way or be fired. Now, she was trying to give me another riot act about how customers were complaining about prices that SHE had demanded we set.

I walked to the computer we used to look things up and pulled the only site [Store Manager] was now allowing me to price my stuff with.

Me: “Large [Brand] shells start at $7, [Store Manager]. I priced this one at $5.”

I pointed at a screen full of $7 [Brand] shells. I could practically hear the screeching of tires and the shrill beeping of a vehicle in reverse as [Store Manager] backpedaled like mad.

Store Manager: “Oh, uh, um, of course. I was just… just… uh… saying how it wasn’t moving, is all.”

Me: *Shrugging* “It’s as cheap as I can make it according to your direct instructions.”

[Store Manager] very quickly found somewhere else to be, without another word.

I’m not going to lie; I spent the rest of the day smirking and doing a happy dance. She would rarely be forced to admit fault, so I took what small victories I could get.

As a design engineer in charge of systems engineering and applicable international standards for implantable radio transceivers, I obviously needed access to various standards and websites — which also gave details of meetings I needed to attend all over Europe.

All went well for several months. Then, a new woman in charge of IT took over, and the next thing I knew, I was being hauled up in front of IT and Human Resources, accused of accessing pornographic sites on a company computer on company time!

At that time, the European Conference of Posts and Telecommunications (CEPT) had a European Radiocommunications Office in Copenhagen, known as the “ERO”. Their website, “ero dot dk”, was obviously one I went to regularly, as I was a member of two of their radio committees.

The “new broom” at IT was well aware that a lot of porn sites were “ero dot [country identifier], so she put two and two together and came up with an answer in the hundreds! Fortunately, suspecting what it was all about, I stated that, in accordance with company policy, I would be accompanied at the meeting by my manager.

The new IT boss started off.

IT Boss: “You have been looking at pornographic sites on company time on a company computer.”

I replied, allowing them to dig deeper:

Me: “What porn site and on what address?”

IT Boss: “‘Ero dot dk’.”

Me: “Access to that site is necessary to enable me to do my work. Have you looked at the site?”

IT Boss: “No, it’s not necessary. All sites starting with ‘ero’ are porn.”

Me: “That is a downright lie. ‘Ero dot dk’ certainly isn’t.”

My manager cut in then and asked very mildly:

Manager: “Perhaps you could point out where ‘ero dot dk’ has pornographic material on it?”

I stirred the pot here a bit and commented:

Me: “I suppose you believe that discussions on acceptable limits for receiver intermodulation and transmitter unwanted emissions involve pornography?”

At this point, it became obvious to the Human Resources person that maybe there was something wrong here… and having looked at the website, even the IT woman decided they had it wrong.

So, just to rub it in, my boss sent a memo to HR — copied to the HR manager and his manager — requesting a charge code for the time wasted in attending the meeting. I don’t think he ever got a reply!

The sales representative from my company came to me asking for a logo for “his brother’s building company”. That was all the information given, so I asked for a bit more information, like “What do they build?” and “What’s the target market?”

He then forwarded my email to his brother, accidentally CCing me and adding this line:

Client: “Can you answer these? Designers are a funny breed. He wants a brief.”

I work as an IT-support team lead. We have a typical office building of a few floors. Each floor has its own printer. On one hectic day, I’m trying to do inventory on the IT department’s floor. I’m in the middle of scrounging for all sorts of technical assets that my barcode reader can get its filthy red line onto when, suddenly, I hear the audible sound of high heels clacking on the floor, and by the sounds of them, lost.

The person opens a random door — which happens to belong to the brand-new director of the infrastructure bureau — and exclaims that their floor printer is not working.  The director confused, sends the person down the hall, saying, “Maybe you’ll have more luck there.”

They turn the corner and look at me, still lost.

Me: “What’s wrong with the printer? Did it show any error codes or anything along those lines?”

Employee: “I don’t know. It hasn’t worked for the past four years!”

Now, I’m confused. There aren’t any broken printers on that person’s floor — not even in the whole building.

Me: “Can you show me your process for printing a file?”

We go to their office, they log in, and we are immediately faced with an overcrowded desktop. Alas, that is not the issue at hand. They open up MS Word, write in “test”, save it, and then close the document. They start getting up from their chair and try to take me to the printer.

Me: “All right, now we just need to print it.”

They look at me, even more confused.

Employee: “I just did? The file should be printing right now if the printer worked!”

In short, I sat them down, introduced to them the printing function, and left, wondering how it was possible that they hadn’t needed to print before for four years, only to conclude that the printer that was whirring daily with documents must be broken.